25 Ways To Impress Your Girl

25 WAYS TO IMPRESS YOUR GIRL

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is say "you better be" , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things, they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewellery is for pussy's and Asian ladies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words fcuk you and grab the other girls arse. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop b*tching about the cold right now you're going to be b*tching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like drinking beer.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interrupt and say "No she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts... and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.

22. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.

23. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

24. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much but I think it's funny.

25. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Now don't call. That's also quite funny.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
 
Lol.... What a worthless guide :p..

So, has any1 tried any of this? :p

PS. Now we know why Chic_Magnet, doesnt have a Girl
:rofl:...
 
:rofl:!! this was posted by a woman in some other forum.... couldnt resist pasting it here...

btw i do have a couple of girls :bleh: ..(not my daughters, messa dating em :bleh: :bleh:)
 
15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit..............yucks....... that is sick.....Like rest of the 24 .........:p :p
 
an old forward.
totally useless. i'm not speaking from experience or anything, but its incorrect to stereotype women.

they're ALL different. trust me on that. :)

[On the other hand, there are just 4 ways to please a man.. i remember those 4 ways from a Dave Chapelle stand-up routine :rofl: cant mention them here :) ]
 
Vince said:
an old forward.
totally useless. i'm not speaking from experience or anything, but its incorrect to stereotype women.

they're ALL different. trust me on that. :)

[On the other hand, there are just 4 ways to please a man.. i remember those 4 ways from a Dave Chapelle stand-up routine :rofl: cant mention them here :) ]
Sarcasm - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Origins

The word comes from the late Latin word, sarcasmus, which, in turn, comes from the Greek sarkasmos, from sarkazein - to bite the lips in rage,- from sarx, sark-, flesh - the root word literally means "to cut a piece of flesh (from the targeted person)."

Sarcasm is proverbially described as "the lowest form of humour but the highest form of wit" (a quotation sometimes ascribed incorrectly to Oscar Wilde, but untraceable).
Usage

The term is frequently misused as a synonym for irony. Irony refers however to the literal meaning and the intended meaning of the words uttered being different, while sarcasm refers to the mocking intent of the utterance.

It is possible to be ironic without being sarcastic, and to be sarcastic without being ironic. For example, one can make a statement which, while sarcastic, is the same as (not the opposite of) the literal thought expressed: No, believe it or not, I can't read your mind!

Sarcasm is also regularly confused with cynicism, which in common use is seen as a fundamental nihilistic attitude toward other people and life in general, whereas sarcasm can also be used to express positive ideas or sentiments.


Sarcasm in written communication


Because it is vocally oriented, sarcasm can be difficult to grasp in written form and is easily misinterpreted. To prevent this some people end sarcastic comments on the Internet with an emoticon, emphasize words with italics, bold, and/or underlining (e.g. That's just great), or surround them with a made-up markup language tag, e.g. *sarcasm*, <sarcasm> or <snicker>.

Another transformation of sarcasm into electronic media is only possible through written language. Using extremely poor typing in a sentence, one can indicate that the holder of a certain opinion is unintelligent or overly eager. For example: "but teh bias!!!11!1!one" This written slang is especially popular in internet forums. Sarcasm is also achievable through written language by using capitalization to emphasize certain words. For example: "Well isn't THAT just fantastic".

In the UK, writing has adopted the use of (!) (an exclamation mark in parentheses) following speech in which sarcasm or irony is perceptible via the tone of voice, a punctuation mark which is very regularly seen in subtitles.
 
The best guide for Impresing a girl, dating her and making her mad about you(so that she cant live w/o you) is written by David DeAngelo. I have the full 12hr video :D :D of his guide named "Double your Dating". But too lazy to watch it. I will watch it some day.
 
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