Bye India


blr_p

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I am not a "foreigner " friends, 100% Indian. Now an ashamed Indian.
Why ?

It was your idea to come to India, something happened so now you are personally responsible

Is that how it works ?

There is absolutely nothing wrong about our traditional culture, in fact from yesterday some mashimas, kakimas ( Bengalis will understand ) and didis are taking care of the kid and his mom like their own relatives. I miss it a lot in Europe.
Make your own family there from friends. I did this when i lived abroad and i have more respect for the people i made friends with than my own family.

But this is my hometown, Kolkata. We were really helpless elsewhere. There must be people like this everywhere ( tha was the experience growing up) May be it was our bad luck.But I kind of feel guilty and responsible for the entire ordeal.
You will have to get over it. The idea was to introduce your son to your home country. This is not a wrong idea and it cannot stop because of one experience.

Thing about Indians is does not matter what passport you got, one look in the mirror will dispel that notion.
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I remember getting into an argument with a colleague once: he showed a video of a guy groping a woman in a bus and the video was either shot or uploaded by a foreigner and my colleague was complaining that this 'firangi' was giving our country a bad name! when i pointed out that the pervert was the one giving us a bad name, he replied that the foreigner had no business posting that video. when pressed further that had an Indian posted the video would there be a problem he responded with "no". last time i ever spoke to the moron.
Parental upbringing seems to focus more on "what will the neighbours say" than on actual morality.
I'd laugh it off unless there was some subtext in that video to make me think otherwise. Was there a voice trying to give us a bad name ? if so then your colleague is right.

My cousin told me once he slapped this air hostess bottom after he'd had a few. She happened to be trans. She filed a complaint and the result is my cousin got banned from that airline for ten years. And two other airlines as well since they have some collaboration.

Best part of the story is he tells me this in front of his wife :D
 
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Powersurge

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What did she experience

Be straight and tell us. I don't mind read or speculate
He doesn't owe you (a stranger on the internet) an explanation or anything for that matter. He has a story and an opinion that he's stating, and hes well within his rights to do that. As are you, stating your opinions. As am I, who think your opinions are garbage! Now, you may argue about that statement of mine till the cows come home, but just remember. I don't owe to anything either, like reading your reply.
 

red dragon

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My wife speaks bits and pieces of Bangla and Hindi. I will help my kid to read Bangla and encourage to read Indian literature, but he ain't coming back. India from a distance is the best for them, even for me, I really can not scream and shout and run to survive here anymore.
My life kind of changed me from inside after this trip.
Feel much more comfortable with my in-laws and people there.Will miss warmth and food of India of course.
Indian food joints in Kosice is non existent and rubbish in Praha.
 

cute.bandar

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@red dragon My sympathies. North India has different more assholish 'ground rules/reality' . We all can get caught up in it. I always ask my sister to not drive after dark or early morning in Gurgaon, but unfortunately she thinks I am being paranoid. :(

@blr_p wtf. A women was bothered and you want details?
 

Neo-N

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@red dragon Sad that you had to face it first hand... Hopefully time will heal the emotional wounds. I respect your decision to never visit India again - I can only imagine the torment you have faced.

Only thing I will add is that jackasses exist across the globe - Most people don't realise it as they see the rest of the world only on short vacations (and mostly in developed nations). You are probably more hurt as you are an Indian but I guess that's what makes this even more unfortunate.
 

red dragon

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@red dragon

.... You are probably more hurt as you are an Indian but I guess that's what makes this even more unfortunate.
Exactly, if something like this happened in Mexico ( our last destination) it probably wouldn't have such impact. Assumed we would be safe in my motherland. It was my idea to come to India...we travel to pretty rough places everyday as part our jobs, never saw anything like this. Only difference was we were not wearing our WHO ID cards and didn't have a WHO vehicle.
My boss warned me and I made fun of him @ that time, she reminded me of that yesterday.
Anyway we are safely reached airport and once passed Delhi she should feel better. We already met a Czech family at Kolkata airport.
As I write this, feeling kind of home with them.
It's strange I grew up in the country for 35 years!!
 
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William_Mboy

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Sadly this problem of harassing foreigners won't be solved anytime soon. People in other continents got used to different race because of mass immigration but since India is not a place where people will for a better life, this will continue to happen.
People find same experience in china and african countries where people gather around them and ask for pics, etc.
 

red dragon

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Then nothing happened !! Simple as

What story ? there is no story. Beating around the bush, casting aspersions. He's just venting.

I'm doing what i expect others to do in these kinds of discussions. Details. Ask the hard questions.

That's how you get a story
Wow mate!! I missed your reply somehow amidst the last minute packing, cabs, boarding pass etc.
It's a story to you mate, it's a nightmare for us. Of course I'm not that idiot to describe everything in the internet ( though I feel like one, bringing it up here) I'm not into Reddit or other newer platform.
I'm a 40 year old guy...wishing you all the success and happiness in life. Bye, take care.
 

Marcus Fenix

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Wow mate!! I missed your reply somehow amidst the last minute packing, cabs, boarding pass etc.
It's a story to you mate, it's a nightmare for us. Of course I'm not that idiot to describe everything in the internet ( though I feel like one, bringing it up here) I'm not into Reddit or other newer platform.
I'm a 40 year old guy...wishing you all the success and happiness in life. Bye, take care.
My cousin told me once he slapped this air hostess bottom after he'd had a few. She happened to be trans. She filed a complaint and the result is my cousin got banned from that airline for ten years. And two other airlines as well since they have some collaboration.

Best part of the story is he tells me this in front of his wife :D
Forget this guy and move on man. I can tell you how the cycle will go-

1) The exact details need to be provided on an open forum.
2)Proof or it didn't happen
3) Circle back to its your own damn fault

I didn't see eye to eye on every point with this guy but I respected his opinion as he tried to approach most points logically unlike some other so called "I am Always Right And F**k You Anti-National If You Don't Agree" dudes on TE.

But when I see that a sexual assault of another human being is a funny anecdote to be boasted and laughed about in family gatherings it gives me a lot of insight as to his mentality.

And its not the fact that his cousion dehumaized another human being but the fact that he boasts about it in front of his wife is the thing that grosses him out.

I have given up and I am not engaging with him anymore. You can have a ton of degrees but doesn't make you educated in the basics of common human decency.

No system or culture is perfect. Its called the human condition. But introspection and then acceptance is the first step towards change to fix the issues.

And one other thing.... never go looking for empathy or understanding on the internet buddy. Its not 2006 anymore. This is the day and age of outrage and counter-outrage which will leave you more drained than you were at the beginning as we only fixate on th negative comments.

If we steamroll over every problem just by aggressively telling people not to bring it up then we are doomed to repeat the mistakes of history.
 
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blr_p

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@blr_p wtf. A women was bothered and you want details?
Yes, we don't know what happened. Whenever some one makes you imagine what happened you assume the worst. It's called the power of suggestion.

I don't.

Conversation ends there

I do the same IRL btw with friends & family too. Details otherwise i'm walking away.

This is how rumours start and manipulation happens. Not with me.

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Forget this guy and move on man. I can tell you how the cycle will go-

1) The exact details need to be provided on an open forum.
2)Proof or it didn't happen
3) Circle back to its your own damn fault
Just 1 is enough rest is called getting accused before doing anything aka jumping the gun.

But when I see that a sexual assault of another human being is a funny anecdote to be boasted and laughed about in family gatherings it gives me a lot of insight as to his mentality.

And its not the fact that his cousion dehumaized another human being but the fact that he boasts about it in front of his wife is the thing that grosses him out.
He did it. Not me. He chose to speak about it. Ten years after.

If you think slapping some one's bottom equates to 'sexual assault' you need to get your head examined. Usually 'assault' of any kind involves a court case.

Duhumanised, lol. You don't know the meaning of this word.

The same thing has happened to me as well as friends in clubs. Women do it too.

Just think about you said now.


And one other thing.... never go looking for empathy or understanding on the internet buddy. Its not 2006 anymore. This is the day and age of outrage and counter-outrage which will leave you more drained than you were at the beginning as we only fixate on the negative comments.

If we steamroll over every problem just by aggressively telling people not to bring it up then we are doomed to repeat the mistakes of history.
All i did was ask for facts. You don't seem to require them to jump to conclusions.
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It's a story to you mate, it's a nightmare for us.
I didn't use the word 'story', Other guy did.
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Exactly, if something like this happened in Mexico ( our last destination) it probably wouldn't have such impact.
This is what i have a problem with. He is personally responsible for anything that happens in this country because he is Indian. Where does this guilt trip come from ?

Assumed we would be safe in my motherland. It was my idea to come to India...we travel to pretty rough places everyday as part our jobs, never saw anything like this.
Without any details i have no idea what you mean. If you travel to tough places every day then you are better clued up about these things than we could ever be.
 
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red dragon

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^^ Bucharest- The place around Gara de Nord station ( worked among junkies...mostly needle exchange)
Ferentari near Bucharest- the entire place is a large trash can- we stayed and worked from tents for 2 weeks, as there was no hotel for 5-6 of us.
Clichy Sous Bois few kms east of Paris (no public transport!! Google will tell you what a hell-hole it is) Sarcelles- possibly north of Paris
Certain places of Madrid ( an entire block was full of cardboard houses, no electricity)
Nowa Huta, Krakow, Polland- There was a house there ( demolished now) where snuff films were made for years. The entire district has more than 20 shooting galleries, hundreds of people were mainlining heroin in broad daylight. A guy bit into my hands after getting a shot of naltriaxone ( he was ODing and blamed me for killing his high)
Those are just a few in Europe only and what I can remember sitting here @ Istanbul airport.
Man, we are not soft individuals. Both of us have seen the worst of human despair and depravity in our line of work. But even in those places no one ever touched us without asking ( except that bite of course) You may not respect us for what we are, but you should respect the work we do. Both of us are MD,PhD, we could afford travel in five star comfort in India, but we chose not to.
 
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Crapmypants

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If you think slapping some one's bottom equates to 'sexual assault' you need to get your head examined. Usually 'assault' of any kind involves a court case.
As per the law, it is very much sexual assault. Also, you don't need a law to tell you that it's completely wrong. You seem to think it's a crime only if you get caught.
 

blr_p

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^^ Bucharest- The place around Gara de Nord station ( worked among junkies...mostly needle exchange)
Ferentari near Bucharest- the entire place is a large trash can- we stayed and worked from tents for 2 weeks, as there was no hotel for 5-6 of us.
Clichy Sous Bois few kms east of Paris (no public transport!! Google will tell you what a hell-hole it is) Sarcelles- possibly north of Paris
Certain places of Madrid ( an entire block was full of cardboard houses, no electricity)
Nowa Huta, Krakow, Polland- There was a house there ( demolished now) where snuff films were made for years. The entire district has more than 20 shooting galleries, hundreds of people were mainlining heroin in broad daylight. A guy bit into my hands after getting a shot of naltriaxone ( he was ODing and blamed me for killing his high)
Those are just a few in Europe only and what I can remember sitting here @ Istanbul airport.
Man, we are not soft individuals. Both of us have seen the worst of human despair and depravity in our line of work. But even in those places no one ever touched us without asking ( except that bite of course) You may not respect us for what we are, but you should respect the work we do. Both of us are MD,PhD, we could afford travel in five star comfort in India, but we chose not to.
Great now tell me why you are personally responsible for what happens in this country ?

Not just you many people do this. When you go abroad you become an ambassador of your country.

Ambassadors talk about what the govt does, good or bad.

Popular past time in this country is blame the govt of the day for all the ills that happen here. Do the same with the next one. Rinse & repeat.
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As per the law, it is very much sexual assault. Also, you don't need a law to tell you that it's completely wrong. You seem to think it's a crime only if you get caught.
Can you quote me this law.

When i say assault i have some thing more serious in mind.

Doing what my cousin did is asking for trouble in most cases. So it isn't any law that is the problem but the chance of being assaulted oneself with no valid defense that you have to deal with.
 
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red dragon

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Great now tell me why you are personally responsible for what happens in this country ?

Not just you many people do this. When you go abroad you become an ambassador of your country.

Ambassadors talk about what the govt does, good or bad.

Popular past time in this country is blame the govt of the day for all the ills that happen here. Do the same with the next one. Rinse & repeat.
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Where exactly did I blame government or any political party for that matter? It did not even come to my mind. Always stayed away from party/politics even when had an Indian passport.
My mom and dad in-law, boss, pretty much everyone, who has never been to India told us not to come to India for such a long time and travel so much. I never ever took them seriously. I spent 35 years in this country, and never believed a thing about racial discrimination. In fact somewhere still believe that we got into an unfortunate one-off accident. She is family dude, she is the mother of our child. Of course I feel kind of responsible, should have been more cautious, should have listened to people around us.
Hope you understand that our jobs have hardened us enough to deal with adversities to some extent ( like getting robbed at gun point, it happened a couple of times, we worked with junkies, in facts years ago we were like them, which drove us to do what we do now. We understand addicts/ alcoholics but not perverts/ racis) But this direct physical attack not for money or valuables was first time experience.
Anyway, I am sorry, if words sounded like having some hidden political undertones, but trust me I can not even name 10 political leaders active in India atm. I am no ambassador of India, not even a citizen anymore. And a big fat NO, we do not waste time blaming the govt. even for a minute. We ****ing work for betterment of the people about whom society has forgotten , those ghost like people larking around in dark alleys. They never scared us, but those asshole Jaths / Punjabis/ whatever did, those were not junkies, even worse, subhuman beings. Now I'm getting really angry, if I see one of those fcukfaces in our community, they will get their wigs split.
 
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red dragon

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Fcuk off!! I did register a police complaint at Delhi (probably Ranjitnagar) and think I will mail everything to Indian/ Czech and Slovak embassies. I do not give a flying **** of what you believe. Not every person in this world lies through the teeth. I can link up at least 10 videos/ blog posts where Czech women were attacked/ molested in India. This is not Deshbhakti assh0l3...Have you ever stepped a foot outside your town/village?
Show me your credentials, I will gladly send you the police report, provided your credential goes beyond some undergrad student.
 

Marcus Fenix

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Fcuk off!! I did register a police complaint at Delhi (probably Ranjitnagar) and think I will mail everything to Indian/ Czech and Slovak embassies. I do not give a flying **** of what you believe. Not every person in this world lies through the teeth. I can link up at least 10 videos/ blog posts where Czech women were attacked/ molested in India. This is not Deshbhakti assh0l3...Have you ever stepped a foot outside your town/village?
Show me your credentials, I will gladly send you the police report, provided your credential goes beyond some undergrad student.
Whoa Chill............
Are you getting PMs?
Block them and do not even read them. Let them do their circle j**k yagna in their echo chamber.
 
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red dragon

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Yes, getting PMs from psychos asking about all sort of crazy ass things. People can be so sick. It's just colour of the skin for ****'s sake.
 

Marcus Fenix

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Yes, getting PMs from psychos asking about all sort of crazy ass things. People can be so sick. It's just colour of the skin for ****'s sake.
Log out and never return. Now you have seen the tenacity of the bhakts. Welcome to India 2020 my friend.
P.S. I would suggest reporting the PMs to the mods so that these buggers can be booted off.
 

chiron

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fwict, its not unusual for south asian men to assume any white woman accompanied by a south asian man is a slut.