"And God said: "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan."
George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
Sharon Stone
"My girlfriend always laughs during sex-no matter what she's reading."
Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)
"My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee-the natural enemy of a tightrope walker."
Dan Rather (News anchorman)
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-b**ch."
Jack Nicholson
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
Dustin Hoffman
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
Rod Stewart., aging cover band singer
George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
Sharon Stone
"My girlfriend always laughs during sex-no matter what she's reading."
Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)
"My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee-the natural enemy of a tightrope walker."
Dan Rather (News anchorman)
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-b**ch."
Jack Nicholson
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
Dustin Hoffman
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
Rod Stewart., aging cover band singer
