-
Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
-
Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
-
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: “Shut up, all of you just shut UP!”
-
Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.
-
Sell Girl Scout cookies.
-
On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
-
Shave.
-
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there?”
-
Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
-
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
-
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
-
Lean over to another passenger and whisper: “Noogie patrol coming!”
-
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
-
One word: Flatulence!
-
On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go “plink” at the bottom.
-
Do Tai Chi exercises.
-
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: “I’ve got new socks on!”
-
When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: “Oh, not now, motion sickness!”
-
Give religious tracts to each passenger.
-
Meow occassionally.
-
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
-
Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
-
Sing “Mary had a little lamb” while continually pushing buttons.
-
Holler “Chutes away!” whenever the elevator descends.
-
Walk on with a cooler that says “human head” on the side.
-
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce “You’re one of THEM!” and move to the far corner of the elevator.
-
Burp, and then say “mmmm…tasty!”
-
Leave a box between the doors.
-
Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
-
Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers “through” it.
-
Start a sing-along.
-
When the elevator is silent, look around and ask “is that your beeper?”
-
Play the harmonica.
-
Shadow box.
-
Say “Ding!” at each floor.
-
Lean against the button panel.
-
Say “I wonder what all these do” and push the red buttons.
-
Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
-
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your “personal space.”
-
Bring a chair along.
-
Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: “Wanna see wha in muh mouf?”
-
Blow spit bubbles.
-
Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
-
Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find a more suitable host body.”
-
Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
-
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
-
Wear “X-Ray Specs” and leer suggestively at other passengers.
-
Stare at your thumb and say “I think it’s getting larger.”
-
If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler “Bad touch!”
Disclaimer: I am not responisble for the outcome of the above events incase one plans to do / follow the above instructions.
i am gonna practice that a.s.a.p 
