Doctors Prescriptions

No Offence Meant To Doctors
  1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
  2. On the second day, the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
  3. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
  4. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
  5. The patient refused an autopsy.
  6. The patient has no past history of suicides.
  7. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
  8. Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
  9. The skin was moist and dry.
  10. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
  11. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
  12. Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
  13. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
  14. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
 
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