Techie#1
Skilled
Job Application!
This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to
McDonalds in Florida...and they hired him because he was so funny and
honest.
JOB APPLICATION:
NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's president or vice president. But
seriously whatever is available. If I was in a position to be picky, I
wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style severance package. If that's not possible make and offer and we
can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I am worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 -3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIALS SKILLS: Yes, but they are better suited for a
more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM
LIFTING UP TO 50LBS? Of what??
DO YOU HAVE A CAR? I think the appropriate question here would be "Do
you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? I may already be
the winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.
DO YOUR SMOKE? On the job no. On my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS? Living in the Bahamas
with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blond super model who thinks I'm
the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually I would like to be
doing that right now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE? Yes, Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries
This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to
McDonalds in Florida...and they hired him because he was so funny and
honest.
JOB APPLICATION:
NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's president or vice president. But
seriously whatever is available. If I was in a position to be picky, I
wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style severance package. If that's not possible make and offer and we
can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I am worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 -3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIALS SKILLS: Yes, but they are better suited for a
more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM
LIFTING UP TO 50LBS? Of what??
DO YOU HAVE A CAR? I think the appropriate question here would be "Do
you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? I may already be
the winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.
DO YOUR SMOKE? On the job no. On my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS? Living in the Bahamas
with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blond super model who thinks I'm
the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually I would like to be
doing that right now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE? Yes, Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries
