Found these while surfing on Gamespot :rofl:
1. If you ever manage to get shot and live, rip the bullet out with your teeth and pretend like nothing happened.
2. If you ever happen to pass out as a result of a deadly disease in the middle of nowhere, don't worry, you will wake up in front of a black man who will heal you.
3. When a car approaches you, destroy it.
4. When your best friend is about to die, stick a needle in his neck and he will be fine.
5. Who needs car recovery services? Just tighten that bolt or nut and your destroyed vehicle will be as good as new.
6. Every car in Africa has a GPS with the EXACT co-ordinates of where you want to go
7. The latest satellite guidance and military technologies can be found in Africa.
8. If a weapon fails and explodes in your face, pick up another rusty cr@p and move on with your business like nothing happened.
9. That sniper rifles have accuracy upgrades, but they are already perfectly accurate.
10. No matter where you stand, you will almost always do the finishing move with the machette on the guys crotch.
11. Every gun dealer in Africa looks alike
12. Rival arms dealers like to drive in circles
13. enemies can take more bullet then superman, and still show no wounds, even able to crawl away after!
14. everyone hates you?
15. dont try to be stealthy, if you knife someone, you get aggro of the whole area anyway..
16. cars cant take damage exept from the front or windows (somtimes wheels)
17. you may be able to not be explode by rockets they stop infront of enemy 2 till you move your aim
18. arms dealers ravials truk is super fast
19. enemy vehicles have NOS!!!
20. if you catch malaria you must take piles all your life
21. you can find dimonds in suitcase in all africa
22. even all the boats in africa have GPS
23. you can run but you cant hide...
24. If you overheat a Mounted Machine Gun, it will catch fire
25. No matter how big your fire is, it will magically die after 1 minute
26. If you shoot someone in the head with a silencer in the middle of a Cease-Fire town with no witnesses around. you'd still get caught
27. No matter how much bullets you take, If your friend is available, you will live (as long as you don't die in water)
28. No matter how perfect your friend's (Josip in this case) plan sounds, you will still need to save his @$$ later
29. Running over a buffalo feels exactly like running over a human
30. No one has more then 1 bottle of pills
31. The enemy doesn't know how to open doors and enter your safe house
32. The enemy's bullets can penetrate walls and kill you, yours can't.
33. A Molotov ****tail has a blast range of 30cm
34. Buying a camouflage suit doesn't change your clothes
35. No one but you cares enough about diamonds to search for them all around Africa
36. Shotguns have the accuracy of an AK
37. All pistols use the same type of Ammo
38. Ropes are un-cuttable (I'm used to Crysis...)
39. If you shoot a convoy they will finish 1/2 of their route, dump their truck and come chasing you
40.The weapon who replaces the pistol, the sub, is the best gun in the game
41. Even the most ruined gun is at perfect condition at the enemy's hands, but at yours: welcome to Jamfest
42. if you stand close to a vehicle with machinegun and the
enemy shoot at you with it you wont take any damage...
43. if you go uderwater for more then 5 sec you will start dieing (so i'll stop swimming seems to be bad thing if i stay uderwater 2 much)
44. if you dont buy more acuracity to molotov or grenede you will throw it to the right and not stright
45. if you run for 7 sec you must wait 5 sec till you can run again or see anything
46. you are mute for ever so shhhhhhh!!! (you cant speak in game with npc ect.)
47. dont worry be happy! every one know what you want and what you need! you dont need to talk they just look at you! they are freaking sidekicks!
48. trees are immortals you cant do enything to them! they will survive even 10 blast of bzooka!
49. you cant destroy bridges they same as trees they are immortals!!!
50. ubisoft tried so much to make enviroment to be realistic that much that they forgot about all the other stuff...
51. u can kill a zebra with just one hit of ur machete.
52. its africa, if there are herbivorous animals... where are the carnivorous??
53. where are the womans?
54. no matter if u have a 4x4 Jeep , its just sooooooo easy to get stuck...
55. u can fix a vehicle with just one tool and just one little adjustment on the engine (sometime on the radiator)
56. Enemy have the greatest sensor/tracking device ever. (I was shooting a grenade launcher in pitch black, from a bush so far away, yet they manage to find my location)
57. Where are the mosquitos that give me malaria
Feel free to add more to this list, i am sure there are many
1. If you ever manage to get shot and live, rip the bullet out with your teeth and pretend like nothing happened.
2. If you ever happen to pass out as a result of a deadly disease in the middle of nowhere, don't worry, you will wake up in front of a black man who will heal you.
3. When a car approaches you, destroy it.
4. When your best friend is about to die, stick a needle in his neck and he will be fine.
5. Who needs car recovery services? Just tighten that bolt or nut and your destroyed vehicle will be as good as new.
6. Every car in Africa has a GPS with the EXACT co-ordinates of where you want to go
7. The latest satellite guidance and military technologies can be found in Africa.
8. If a weapon fails and explodes in your face, pick up another rusty cr@p and move on with your business like nothing happened.
9. That sniper rifles have accuracy upgrades, but they are already perfectly accurate.
10. No matter where you stand, you will almost always do the finishing move with the machette on the guys crotch.
11. Every gun dealer in Africa looks alike
12. Rival arms dealers like to drive in circles
13. enemies can take more bullet then superman, and still show no wounds, even able to crawl away after!
14. everyone hates you?
15. dont try to be stealthy, if you knife someone, you get aggro of the whole area anyway..
16. cars cant take damage exept from the front or windows (somtimes wheels)
17. you may be able to not be explode by rockets they stop infront of enemy 2 till you move your aim
18. arms dealers ravials truk is super fast
19. enemy vehicles have NOS!!!
20. if you catch malaria you must take piles all your life
21. you can find dimonds in suitcase in all africa
22. even all the boats in africa have GPS
23. you can run but you cant hide...
24. If you overheat a Mounted Machine Gun, it will catch fire
25. No matter how big your fire is, it will magically die after 1 minute
26. If you shoot someone in the head with a silencer in the middle of a Cease-Fire town with no witnesses around. you'd still get caught
27. No matter how much bullets you take, If your friend is available, you will live (as long as you don't die in water)
28. No matter how perfect your friend's (Josip in this case) plan sounds, you will still need to save his @$$ later
29. Running over a buffalo feels exactly like running over a human
30. No one has more then 1 bottle of pills
31. The enemy doesn't know how to open doors and enter your safe house
32. The enemy's bullets can penetrate walls and kill you, yours can't.
33. A Molotov ****tail has a blast range of 30cm
34. Buying a camouflage suit doesn't change your clothes
35. No one but you cares enough about diamonds to search for them all around Africa
36. Shotguns have the accuracy of an AK
37. All pistols use the same type of Ammo
38. Ropes are un-cuttable (I'm used to Crysis...)
39. If you shoot a convoy they will finish 1/2 of their route, dump their truck and come chasing you
40.The weapon who replaces the pistol, the sub, is the best gun in the game
41. Even the most ruined gun is at perfect condition at the enemy's hands, but at yours: welcome to Jamfest
42. if you stand close to a vehicle with machinegun and the
enemy shoot at you with it you wont take any damage...
43. if you go uderwater for more then 5 sec you will start dieing (so i'll stop swimming seems to be bad thing if i stay uderwater 2 much)
44. if you dont buy more acuracity to molotov or grenede you will throw it to the right and not stright
45. if you run for 7 sec you must wait 5 sec till you can run again or see anything
46. you are mute for ever so shhhhhhh!!! (you cant speak in game with npc ect.)
47. dont worry be happy! every one know what you want and what you need! you dont need to talk they just look at you! they are freaking sidekicks!
48. trees are immortals you cant do enything to them! they will survive even 10 blast of bzooka!
49. you cant destroy bridges they same as trees they are immortals!!!
50. ubisoft tried so much to make enviroment to be realistic that much that they forgot about all the other stuff...
51. u can kill a zebra with just one hit of ur machete.
52. its africa, if there are herbivorous animals... where are the carnivorous??
53. where are the womans?
54. no matter if u have a 4x4 Jeep , its just sooooooo easy to get stuck...
55. u can fix a vehicle with just one tool and just one little adjustment on the engine (sometime on the radiator)
56. Enemy have the greatest sensor/tracking device ever. (I was shooting a grenade launcher in pitch black, from a bush so far away, yet they manage to find my location)
57. Where are the mosquitos that give me malaria
Feel free to add more to this list, i am sure there are many
.. coz others dont add to the % ... and once u are past 50% and good weapons get unlocked ...things are pretty much easier 