Amazon Reviews - Simply Awesome...ROFL

raksrules

Elite
Check these reviews of the $500 network cable and $6800 speaker cable :O on amazon.com

Amazon.com: Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable: Electronics

Amazon.com: AudioQuest K2 terminated speaker cable - UST plugs 8' (2.44m) pair: Electronics
Some of the reviews there... :rofl: :rofl:

After I took delivery of my $500 Denon AKDL1 Cat-5 uber-cable, Al Gore was mysteriously drawn to my home, where he pronounced that Global Warming had been suspended in my vicinity.

Yes, I had perfect weather: no flooding, no tornadoes, the exact amount of rain necessary, and he pronounced sea levels exactly right and that they were not going to rise within five miles of my house.

Additionally, my cars began achieving 200 mpg and I didn't even need gasoline. I was able to put three grams of cat litter into the tank and drive forever.

What's more, the atmosphere inside my home became 93% oxygen and virtually no carbon dioxide. In fact, I now exhale oxygen.

One heck of a cable.

Didn't notice any improvement in audio quality though.

The $800 Apple iCable is clearly superior.
A vital accessory for all those attempting to climb the world's second highest mountain, which incidentally was named after this item. At first I was sceptical, but after a quasi-religious ceremony in which I held this aloft infront of the baying masses at base camp; I realised the true power that AudioQuest have manifested in this silver snake. Attaching it to my harness, I noticed how the shard-like peaks of the West Face smoothed over infront of me as I attempted to climb the savage mountain in only my Y-fronts and a Busted-Tees t-shirt.

I used to be afraid to have a woman over to my apartment because I had inferior cables. Now, with these, I can finally have a chance at losing my virginity! Thank you AQ!!!(It almost seems blasphemous to see these marked down so low!)
 
Amazing reviews for the product....I've used amazon so many times, but never noticed these kind of reviews...hilarious!!! :D Thanks !!!

PS: Read all the reviews on amazon...amazingly creative people..some of the reviews are really top class!!
 
This is even better

Amazon.com: The Secret (9781582701707): Rhonda Byrne: Books

Please allow me to share with you how "The Secret" changed my life and in a very real and substantive way allowed me to overcome a severe crisis in my personal life. It is well known that the premise of "The Secret" is the science of attracting the things in life that you desire and need and in removing from your life those things that you don't want. Before finding this book, I knew nothing of these principles, the process of positive visualization, and had actually engaged in reckless behaviors to the point of endangering my own life and wellbeing.

At age 36, I found myself in a medium security prison serving 3-5 years for destruction of government property and public intoxication. This was stiff punishment for drunkenly defecating in a mailbox but as the judge pointed out, this was my third conviction for the exact same crime. I obviously had an alcohol problem and a deep and intense disrespect for the postal system, but even more importantly I was ignoring the very fabric of our metaphysical reality and inviting destructive influences into my life.

My fourth day in prison was the first day that I was allowed in general population and while in the recreation yard I was approached by a prisoner named Marcus who calmly informed me that as a new prisoner I had been purchased by him for three packs of Winston cigarettes and 8 ounces of Pruno (prison wine). Marcus elaborated further that I could expect to be raped by him on a daily basis and that I had pretty eyes.

Needless to say, I was deeply shocked that my life had sunk to this level. Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic and dismayed by my overall personal street value of roughly $15. I returned to my cell and sat very quietly, searching myself for answers on how I could improve my life and distance myself from harmful outside influences. At that point, in what I consider to be a miraculous moment, my cell mate Jim Norton informed me that he knew about the Marcus situation and that he had something that could solve my problems. He handed me a copy of "The Secret". Normally I wouldn't have turned to a self help book to resolve such a severe and immediate threat but I literally didn't have any other available alternatives. I immediately opened the book and began to read.

The first few chapters deal with the essence of something called the "Law of Attraction" in which a primal universal force is available to us and can be harnessed for the betterment of our lives. The theoretical nature of the first few chapters wasn't exactly putting me at peace. In fact, I had never meditated and had great difficulty with closing out the chaotic noises of the prison and visualizing the positive changes that I so dearly needed. It was when I reached Chapter 6 "The Secret to Relationships" that I realized how this book could help me distance myself from Marcus and his negative intentions. Starting with chapter six there was a cavity carved into the book and in that cavity was a prison shiv. This particular shiv was a toothbrush with a handle that had been repeatedly melted and ground into a razor sharp point.

The next day in the exercise yard I carried "The Secret" with me and when Marcus approached me I opened the book and stabbed him in the neck. The next eight weeks in solitary confinement provided ample time to practice positive visualization and the 16 hours per day of absolute darkness made visualization about the only thing that I actually could do. I'm not sure that everybody's life will be changed in such a dramatic way by this book but I'm very thankful to have found it and will continue to recommend it heartily.
 
OMG !! I might just die laughing :rofl: :rofl:

Okay, I'll admit it. The main reason I purchased three of these cables was to increase my sex appeal to all lifeforms, terrestrial or extraterrestrial. Needless to say, they worked VERY well in that capacity. But there were unanticipated benefits I never could have imagined, and I am **THRILLED** with them now
 
Transmission of music data at rates faster than the speed of light seemed convenient, until I realized I was hearing the music before I actually wanted to play it. Apparently Denon forgot how accustomed most of us are to unidirectional time and the general laws of physics. I tried to get used to this effect but hearing songs play before I even realized I was in the mood for them just really screwed up my preconceptions of choice and free will. I'm still having a major existential hangover.

Would not purchase again.

Lolmax... :)
 
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