Oh sure, U have seen this stuff many times.
But maybe not all of some of them (if that makes sense).
There's some kool re-usable one liners in there, pilgrim... in case U forgot them.
Sooooo....
If U know some HTML and are a DIY kinda person, I think U can download an applet of Bart writing anything that U choose, and plug it into a page, from here :
But maybe not all of some of them (if that makes sense).
There's some kool re-usable one liners in there, pilgrim... in case U forgot them.
Sooooo....
Code:
[url]http://pearly7000.tripod.com/homer/homer-bart.html[/url]At the beginning of every episode of 'The Simpsons', Bart is seen copying something on the blackboard over and over.
Here are a few of them :
I will not flush evidence.
I will not carve gods.
I will not spank others.
I will not aim for the head.
I will not barf unless I'm sick.
I will not do the dirty bird.
I will not scream for icecream.
I will not snap bras.
I will not spin the turtle.
I will not fake seizures.
I will not defame New Orleans.
I will not prescribe medication.
I will not bury the new kid.
I will not teach others to fly.
I will not bring sheep to class.
I will not eat things for money.
I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.
I will not call the principal "spud head".
I will not sell miracle cures.
I will not charge admission to the bathroom.
I will not go near the kindergarten turtle.
I will not celebrate meaningless milestones.
I will not waste chalk.
I will not skateboard in the halls.
I will not instigate revolution.
I will not draw naked ladies in class.
I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes".
I will not encourage others to fly.
I will not fake my way through life.
I will not trade pants with others.
I will not do that thing with my tongue.
I will not drive the principal's car.
I will not pledge allegiance to Bart.
I will not sell school property.
I will not whittle hall passes out of soap.
I will not burp in class.
I will not get very far with this attitude.
I will not belch the National Anthem.
I will not sell land in Florida.
I will not grease the monkey bars.
I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment.
I will not do anything bad ever again.
I will not show off.
I will not sleep through my education.
I will not Xerox my butt.
I will not bribe Principal Skinner.
I will not torment the emotionally frail.
I will not hide teacher's medication.
I will not squeak chalk.
I will not "let the dogs out".
I will not scare the Vice President.
I will not conduct my own fire drills.
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom.
I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause.
I will not send lard through the mail.
I will not use abbrev.
I will not tease Fatty.
I will not dissect things unless instructed.
I will not hang donuts on my person.
I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface.
I will not strut around like I own the place.
I will not make flatulent noises in class.
I will not complain about the solution when I hear it.
I will not defame New Orleans only in Canada.
I will not hide the teacher's Prozac.
I will not demand what I'm worth.
I will not mess with the opening credits.
I will not file frivolous lawsuits.
I will not bite the hand that feeds me butterfingers.
I will not do the dirty bird.
I will not mess with the opening ???
I will not re-transmit without the express
premission of Major League Baseball.
I will not plant subliminal messagores.
I will not cut corners.
" " " " "
" " " " "
" " " " "
I cannot absolve sins.
I will never win an emmy.
I will finish what I sta
I will return the seeing-eye dog.
I will give urine sample only when asked.
I will remember to take my medication.
I will only do this once a year.
I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist.
I no longer want my MTV.
I'm so very tired.
I was not the sixth Beatle.
I was not told to do this.
I was not the first Roman Emperor named 'Fartacus'.
I was not the inspiration for 'Kramer'.
I am not a 32-year-old woman.
I am not a dentist.
I am not the new Dalai Lama.
I am not a lean mean spitting machine.
I am not a licensed hair stylist.
I am not a licensed therapist.
I am not licensed to do anything.
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
I am not deliciously saucy.
I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr..
I am not certified to remove asbestos.
I am not my long-lost twin.
I am not Charlie Brown on acid.
I am not here on fireball scholarship.
I do not see dead people.
I do not have diplomatic immunity.
I do not have power of attorney over first graders.
I did not see Elvis.
I did not invent Irish dancing.
I did not learn everything I need to know in life from kindergarten.
I was not told to do this.
I should not have been twenty one today.
I saw nothing unusual in the teachers' lounge.
I have neither been there nor done that.
Making Milhouse cry is not a Science project.
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
My name is not Dr. Death.
My butt does not deserve a website.
My mother is not dating Jerry Seinfeld.
This is not a clue ... or is it?
It does not suck to be you.
Genetics is not an excuse.
Organ transplants are best left to professionals.
The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan".
There are plenty of businesses like show business.
Five days is not too long to wait for a gun.
Garlic gum is not funny.
They are laughing at me, not with me.
Tar is not a plaything.
It's potato, not potatoe.
Spitwads are not free speech.
Nobody likes sunburn slappers.
Nobody is interested to read my sci
High explosives and school don't mix.
"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender.
Underwear should be worn on the inside.
The Christmas Pageant does not stink.
'Temptation Island' is not a sleazy piece of crap.
No one cares what the definition of 'is' is.
Silly string is not a nasal spray.
Funny noises are not funny.
This punishment is not boring and pointless.
The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
Science class should not end in tragedy.
Goldfish don't bounce.
Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.
No one is interested in my underpants.
The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy.
All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy.
The nurse is not dealing.
Fun does not have a size.
A belch is not an oral report.
A burp is not an answer.
Teacher is not a leper.
Coffee is not for kids.
Fire is not the cleanser.
Sherri does not 'get back'.
Hillbillies are people too.
A burp in a jar is not a science project.
There was no Roman god named 'Farticus'.
Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related.
Shooting paintballs is not an art form.
Pain is not the cleanser.
The hamster did not "have a full life".
The first amendment does not cover burping.
Loose teeth don't need my help.
Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does.
Hamsters cannot fly.
"The President did it" is not an excuse.
Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough.
No one wants to hear my armpits.
No one wants to hear about my sciatica.
Next time it could be me on the scaffolding.
The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far.
Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things.
Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal .
Indian burns are not our cultural heritage.
"Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice.
The boys room is not a water park.
Beans are neither fruit nor musical.
A fire drill does not demand a fire.
Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story.
Nerve gas is not a toy.
Grammar is not a time of waste.
The truth is not out there.
"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism.
The Christmas Pageant does not stink.
butt.com is not an email address.
butt.butt is not my E-mail adress.
A trained ape could not teach gym.
I have neither been there nor done that.
The giving tree is not a chump.
Vampire is not a career choice.
Sherri does not "got back".
Dodgeball stops at the gym door.
NO BODY READS THESE ANYMORE.
I will never lie about being cancelled again.
"Girls are easy.
State capitals are hard."
I will not do Math in class. ( Lisa's punishment ).
AND...Here are a few of them :
I will not flush evidence.
I will not carve gods.
I will not spank others.
I will not aim for the head.
I will not barf unless I'm sick.
I will not do the dirty bird.
I will not scream for icecream.
I will not snap bras.
I will not spin the turtle.
I will not fake seizures.
I will not defame New Orleans.
I will not prescribe medication.
I will not bury the new kid.
I will not teach others to fly.
I will not bring sheep to class.
I will not eat things for money.
I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.
I will not call the principal "spud head".
I will not sell miracle cures.
I will not charge admission to the bathroom.
I will not go near the kindergarten turtle.
I will not celebrate meaningless milestones.
I will not waste chalk.
I will not skateboard in the halls.
I will not instigate revolution.
I will not draw naked ladies in class.
I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes".
I will not encourage others to fly.
I will not fake my way through life.
I will not trade pants with others.
I will not do that thing with my tongue.
I will not drive the principal's car.
I will not pledge allegiance to Bart.
I will not sell school property.
I will not whittle hall passes out of soap.
I will not burp in class.
I will not get very far with this attitude.
I will not belch the National Anthem.
I will not sell land in Florida.
I will not grease the monkey bars.
I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment.
I will not do anything bad ever again.
I will not show off.
I will not sleep through my education.
I will not Xerox my butt.
I will not bribe Principal Skinner.
I will not torment the emotionally frail.
I will not hide teacher's medication.
I will not squeak chalk.
I will not "let the dogs out".
I will not scare the Vice President.
I will not conduct my own fire drills.
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom.
I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause.
I will not send lard through the mail.
I will not use abbrev.
I will not tease Fatty.
I will not dissect things unless instructed.
I will not hang donuts on my person.
I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface.
I will not strut around like I own the place.
I will not make flatulent noises in class.
I will not complain about the solution when I hear it.
I will not defame New Orleans only in Canada.
I will not hide the teacher's Prozac.
I will not demand what I'm worth.
I will not mess with the opening credits.
I will not file frivolous lawsuits.
I will not bite the hand that feeds me butterfingers.
I will not do the dirty bird.
I will not mess with the opening ???
I will not re-transmit without the express
premission of Major League Baseball.
I will not plant subliminal messagores.
I will not cut corners.
" " " " "
" " " " "
" " " " "
I cannot absolve sins.
I will never win an emmy.
I will finish what I sta
I will return the seeing-eye dog.
I will give urine sample only when asked.
I will remember to take my medication.
I will only do this once a year.
I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist.
I no longer want my MTV.
I'm so very tired.
I was not the sixth Beatle.
I was not told to do this.
I was not the first Roman Emperor named 'Fartacus'.
I was not the inspiration for 'Kramer'.
I am not a 32-year-old woman.
I am not a dentist.
I am not the new Dalai Lama.
I am not a lean mean spitting machine.
I am not a licensed hair stylist.
I am not a licensed therapist.
I am not licensed to do anything.
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
I am not deliciously saucy.
I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr..
I am not certified to remove asbestos.
I am not my long-lost twin.
I am not Charlie Brown on acid.
I am not here on fireball scholarship.
I do not see dead people.
I do not have diplomatic immunity.
I do not have power of attorney over first graders.
I did not see Elvis.
I did not invent Irish dancing.
I did not learn everything I need to know in life from kindergarten.
I was not told to do this.
I should not have been twenty one today.
I saw nothing unusual in the teachers' lounge.
I have neither been there nor done that.
Making Milhouse cry is not a Science project.
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
My name is not Dr. Death.
My butt does not deserve a website.
My mother is not dating Jerry Seinfeld.
This is not a clue ... or is it?
It does not suck to be you.
Genetics is not an excuse.
Organ transplants are best left to professionals.
The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan".
There are plenty of businesses like show business.
Five days is not too long to wait for a gun.
Garlic gum is not funny.
They are laughing at me, not with me.
Tar is not a plaything.
It's potato, not potatoe.
Spitwads are not free speech.
Nobody likes sunburn slappers.
Nobody is interested to read my sci
High explosives and school don't mix.
"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender.
Underwear should be worn on the inside.
The Christmas Pageant does not stink.
'Temptation Island' is not a sleazy piece of crap.
No one cares what the definition of 'is' is.
Silly string is not a nasal spray.
Funny noises are not funny.
This punishment is not boring and pointless.
The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
Science class should not end in tragedy.
Goldfish don't bounce.
Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.
No one is interested in my underpants.
The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy.
All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy.
The nurse is not dealing.
Fun does not have a size.
A belch is not an oral report.
A burp is not an answer.
Teacher is not a leper.
Coffee is not for kids.
Fire is not the cleanser.
Sherri does not 'get back'.
Hillbillies are people too.
A burp in a jar is not a science project.
There was no Roman god named 'Farticus'.
Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related.
Shooting paintballs is not an art form.
Pain is not the cleanser.
The hamster did not "have a full life".
The first amendment does not cover burping.
Loose teeth don't need my help.
Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does.
Hamsters cannot fly.
"The President did it" is not an excuse.
Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough.
No one wants to hear my armpits.
No one wants to hear about my sciatica.
Next time it could be me on the scaffolding.
The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far.
Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things.
Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal .
Indian burns are not our cultural heritage.
"Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice.
The boys room is not a water park.
Beans are neither fruit nor musical.
A fire drill does not demand a fire.
Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story.
Nerve gas is not a toy.
Grammar is not a time of waste.
The truth is not out there.
"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism.
The Christmas Pageant does not stink.
butt.com is not an email address.
butt.butt is not my E-mail adress.
A trained ape could not teach gym.
I have neither been there nor done that.
The giving tree is not a chump.
Vampire is not a career choice.
Sherri does not "got back".
Dodgeball stops at the gym door.
NO BODY READS THESE ANYMORE.
I will never lie about being cancelled again.
"Girls are easy.
State capitals are hard."
I will not do Math in class. ( Lisa's punishment ).
If U know some HTML and are a DIY kinda person, I think U can download an applet of Bart writing anything that U choose, and plug it into a page, from here :
Code:
[url]http://www.snpp.com/other/software/quotes.html[/url]