Why do Italians hate Jehovah's Witnesses?
Because Italians hate all witnesses.
Do you know why most men from Italy are
named Tony?
On the boat over to America they put a
sticker on them that said - TO NY.
You know you're Italian when . . . . You can
bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day
and still cry when your mother yells at you.
You carry your lunch in a produce bag because
you can't fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4
oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a
regular lunch bag.
Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant,
travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.
You have at least 5 cousins living in the same
town or on the same block. All five of those
cousins are named after your grandfather
or grandmother.
You are on a first name basis with at least
8 banquet hall owners.
You only get one good shave from a disposable
razor.
If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 10",
it is presumed his Mother had an affair.
There were more than 28 people in your bridal
party.
You netted more than $50,000 on your first
communion.
And you REALLY, REALLY know you're
Italian when ....
Your grandfather had a fig tree.
You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.
Christmas Eve . . . only fish.
Your mom's meatballs are the best.
You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had
a shoe thrown at you.
Clear plastic covers are on all the furniture.
You know how to pronounce "manicotti" and
"mozzarella."
You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or
"gravy."
You've called someone a "mamaluke."
And you understand "bada bing bada boom"!!!
Because Italians hate all witnesses.
Do you know why most men from Italy are
named Tony?
On the boat over to America they put a
sticker on them that said - TO NY.
You know you're Italian when . . . . You can
bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day
and still cry when your mother yells at you.
You carry your lunch in a produce bag because
you can't fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4
oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a
regular lunch bag.
Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant,
travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.
You have at least 5 cousins living in the same
town or on the same block. All five of those
cousins are named after your grandfather
or grandmother.
You are on a first name basis with at least
8 banquet hall owners.
You only get one good shave from a disposable
razor.
If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 10",
it is presumed his Mother had an affair.
There were more than 28 people in your bridal
party.
You netted more than $50,000 on your first
communion.
And you REALLY, REALLY know you're
Italian when ....
Your grandfather had a fig tree.
You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.
Christmas Eve . . . only fish.
Your mom's meatballs are the best.
You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had
a shoe thrown at you.
Clear plastic covers are on all the furniture.
You know how to pronounce "manicotti" and
"mozzarella."
You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or
"gravy."
You've called someone a "mamaluke."
And you understand "bada bing bada boom"!!!