frenemies

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evilwit

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hey guys
As I am a geek,I meet a lot of technical issues and try to solve it.But today I dont have any techincal problem.today i want to share some of my emotions with you.other than my mom no one understands me.andto be clear i dont have any close friend whom with I can share my issuses.ATM this is the best place to share my issues as some you guys are like me.actually to describe myself i am a kind of person who is introvert,too nice for this world and confused.there are two friends of mine.i know one of them from a long period of time and got to know to my second friend from him and both these guys are great friend of each other.talking of my first friend,he is too proud,he is too bad spoken(he abuses a lot) and he thinks he is the best man on this world.now speaking of second guy he is good.when we became friends ,he used to talk nicely to me but due to my mistakes i left bad impressions on him.he thinks i am a "pheku".now he doesnts treats me well.he tries to ignore me.he doesnt meet me by his own,i have to make a effort to meet him.now you guys must be wondering about my first friend that why I even talk to him if i dislike him too much.actually these two guys are the only two who are my friends.and doesnt matter how much i stop myself to talk to him i cant.my queries.

what should i do?should i leave both of them?
when i make a friend,everything goes okay in the beggining but when my friend gradually become comfortable with me and starts to crack jokes and abuses mejustfor fun,i feel bad.what should i do?is it normal?does this happen to you aswell ?what are the limits of joking?
 
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evilwit said:
hey guys
As I am a geek,I meet a lot of technical issues and try to solve it.But today I dont have any techincal problem.today i want to share some of my emotions with you.other than my mom no one understands me.andto be clear i dont have any close friend whom with I can share my issuses.ATM this is the best place to share my issues as some you guys are like me.actually to describe myself i am a kind of person who is introvert,too nice for this world and confused.there are two friends of mine.i know one of them from a long period of time and got to know to my second friend from him and both these guys are great friend of each other.talking of my first friend,he is too proud,he is too bad spoken(he abuses a lot) and he thinks he is the best man on this world.now speaking of second guy he is good.when we became friends ,he used to talk nicely to me but due to my mistakes i left bad impressions on him.he thinks i am a "pheku".now he doesnts treats me well.he tries to ignore me.he doesnt meet me by his own,i have to make a effort to meet him.now you guys must be wondering about my first friend that why I even talk to him if i dislike him too much.actually these two guys are the only two who are my friends.and doesnt matter how much i stop myself to talk to him i cant.my queries.

what should i do?should i leave both of them?
when i make a friend,everything goes okay in the beggining but when my friend gradually become comfortable with me and starts to crack jokes and abuses mejustfor fun,i feel bad.what should i do?is it normal?does this happen to you aswell ?what are the limits of joking?
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Friends do abuse each other but for fun.
It shouldnt cross certain line. If it starts feeling it is crossing the line, you need to take a stand and tell him about this.
If it still continues then ditch them. Why hang around people who make your life miserable? Dont be so attached to people.
Again I dont know how sensitive you are. Looks like you may be over sensitive.
May be You are allowing them to abuse you by being a soft target.
You have to learn to deal with such things. Posting them online wont help as we can only see your point of view and not the actual issue.
One tip to overcome introvert behaviour is to force yourself to try and interact with new people.
You may have occasions like a office party or some other occasion where you would get a chance to interact with new people whom you know by face but havent spoken to them.
You may feel why should i interact with them, but try and interact. This would help you a lot.

I feel you stay indoors a lot. Lack of outside interactions usually causes this kind of situtation.
I dont know if you fall in the highly sensitive person (HSP) category. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highly_sensitive_person
 
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gauravH said:
once he has company of girls, he won't be bothered about issues with his guys ;-)
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52795.jpg?1385556721
 
pradeep200417 said:
Friends do abuse each other but for fun.
It shouldnt cross certain line. If it starts feeling it is crossing the line, you need to take a stand and tell him about this.
If it still continues then ditch them. Why hang around people who make your life miserable? Dont be so attached to people.
Again I dont know how sensitive you are. Looks like you may be over sensitive.
May be You are allowing them to abuse you by being a soft target.
You have to learn to deal with such things. Posting them online wont help as we can only see your point of view and not the actual issue.
One tip to overcome introvert behaviour is to force yourself to try and interact with new people.
You may have occasions like a office party or some other occasion where you would get a chance to interact with new people whom you know by face but havent spoken to them.
You may feel why should i interact with them, but try and interact. This would help you a lot.

I feel you stay indoors a lot. Lack of outside interactions usually causes this kind of situtation.
I dont know if you fall in the highly sensitive person (HSP) category. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highly_sensitive_person
Click to expand...
Thanks man for your reply.
I have few doubts
like how can i know that the person is crossing the limit?
What do you mean by soft target?which way should i behave that i dont become a soft target?
thanks
 
Can you say give me the finger next time you meet him? just like that? or perhaps say to hell with you also? just for the sake of it. :)

If you do the above, you are not a soft target or can never be. or most prolly people wont mess with you. Perhaps keep some healthy distance too. :)
 
evilwit said:
Thanks man for your reply.
I have few doubts
like how can i know that the person is crossing the limit?
What do you mean by soft target?which way should i behave that i dont become a soft target?
thanks
Click to expand...
Its a very relative thing when person is crossing the limits.
There is a certain boundary within which the person should behave.
Like you dont abuse your parents like you abuse your friends.
If you do the same to your parents that would be crossing limits.
Likewise you have a certain limit of tolerance for your friends too.
Like even after repeated requests if your friends continue to abuse you or exploit you and it is not within your tolerance, that can be termed as crossing the limit. Dont waste time with such people. It is not worth it.
Like i said it is very relative term. A person who wants to blindly follow another person would continue tolerating the other person's abuse. Depends on your priorties.


About being soft. I can give you an example from one of my personal experience.
There were 2 teachers/lecturers that I came accross.
One whom student dont care about. I mean they do all sorts of nonsense in the class, chat and the class looks like a fish market. He doesnt have the capabilty to control the students. Students are not scared of him. He himself doesnt have any knowledge. No guts whatsoever.
Most important point being student dont respect him. This is an example of a soft target. He is submissive or atmost Passive aggressive

Another I came across students were pretty scared of him. They were scared of him but also respected him. You dont mess with him or else there would be consequences. He wasnt taken lightly. He had guts. He is assertive. He is not a soft target.

I think people falls under Assertive, Passive aggressive, aggressive and Submissive categories.
Basically it about having self respect, Standing for what you think is right and not follow people like idols and dont fall for peer pressure.
Again dont get too attached to people.
It comes by experience and I cant seem to pen it down properly.
 
So you got inspired by the behaviour of your first friend, and behaved like him, which in turn pissed off your second friend.

Here's what I say.
Both of them, and you to an extent(because you got inspired by wrong guy) are hypocrites of the first order.

Take my advice, my friend, start looking for better people to hang out with.
 
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