hmasalia
Adept
Hi!
Found this on the net while surfing!
Found it very funny!
Did you ever do anything as stupid and funny as this?
Please post if you have..
Also check out the Thumbnail
Teaching scientific concepts can be a challenge. Below is a sampling of some of the more interesting test answers from students collected by science and health teachers at various grade levels, printed in Popular Science magazine.
* When you breath, you inspire. When you don't breath, you expire.
* The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
* A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.
* When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
* For head colds, use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops into your throat.
* The moon is a planet just like Earth, only deader.
* Artificial insemination is what the farmer does to the cow instead of the bull.
* Dew is formed on leaves when sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
* To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
* Equator: A managerie lion running around Earth through Africa.
* To remove dust from your eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
* Momentum. What you give a person when they are going away.
* Nitrogen is not found in Ireland, because it is not found in a free state.
* Three kids of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.
* Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin & Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydogin is gin and water.
* A super saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
* Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
* The body consists of three parts--the branium, the borax, and the abominable cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the borax
* contains the bowls, of which there are five--a, e, i, o, and u.
* The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.
* The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.
* The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends toward the moon, because nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
* A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.
* For fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor.
* Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
* Before giving a transfusion, find out if the blood is negative or affirmative.
* Liter: A nest of young puppies. Centimeter: A long insect with 100 legs.
* Magnet: Something you can find crawling over a dead cat.
* H20 is hot water. CO2 is cold water.
* Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.
* Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.
* Respiration is composed of inspiration and then expectoration.
* For a nosebleed: Put the nose lower than the body until the heart stops.
* To prevent contraception use a condominium.
* Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
The following questions and answers were collated from last year's British GCSE exams (16 year olds)! Give us strength ... these people are tomorrow's leaders ... my bet is that we will become extinct!
Geography
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Sociology
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Biology
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen).
A: The body is consisted into three parts-the brainium, theborax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains thebrain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O and U.
Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does *varicose- mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term *Caesarean Section.
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
English
Q: Use the word *judicious- in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
Q: What does the word *benign- mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Technology
Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears.
Found this on the net while surfing!
Found it very funny!
Did you ever do anything as stupid and funny as this?
Please post if you have..
Also check out the Thumbnail
Teaching scientific concepts can be a challenge. Below is a sampling of some of the more interesting test answers from students collected by science and health teachers at various grade levels, printed in Popular Science magazine.
* When you breath, you inspire. When you don't breath, you expire.
* The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
* A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.
* When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
* For head colds, use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops into your throat.
* The moon is a planet just like Earth, only deader.
* Artificial insemination is what the farmer does to the cow instead of the bull.
* Dew is formed on leaves when sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
* To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
* Equator: A managerie lion running around Earth through Africa.
* To remove dust from your eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
* Momentum. What you give a person when they are going away.
* Nitrogen is not found in Ireland, because it is not found in a free state.
* Three kids of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.
* Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin & Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydogin is gin and water.
* A super saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
* Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
* The body consists of three parts--the branium, the borax, and the abominable cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the borax
* contains the bowls, of which there are five--a, e, i, o, and u.
* The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.
* The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.
* The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends toward the moon, because nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
* A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.
* For fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor.
* Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
* Before giving a transfusion, find out if the blood is negative or affirmative.
* Liter: A nest of young puppies. Centimeter: A long insect with 100 legs.
* Magnet: Something you can find crawling over a dead cat.
* H20 is hot water. CO2 is cold water.
* Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.
* Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.
* Respiration is composed of inspiration and then expectoration.
* For a nosebleed: Put the nose lower than the body until the heart stops.
* To prevent contraception use a condominium.
* Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
The following questions and answers were collated from last year's British GCSE exams (16 year olds)! Give us strength ... these people are tomorrow's leaders ... my bet is that we will become extinct!
Geography
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Sociology
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Biology
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen).
A: The body is consisted into three parts-the brainium, theborax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains thebrain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O and U.
Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does *varicose- mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term *Caesarean Section.
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
English
Q: Use the word *judicious- in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
Q: What does the word *benign- mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Technology
Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears.