Q: Does losing your virginity cause physical changes?
Adam: In a guy, the chest expands, the chin tends to protrude. The shoulders get pulled back. Oftentimes, the right hand can swell up from a lot of high-fiving with a male counterpart.
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adam: veal and venison, what kind of meat is that?
female caller: veal is baby cow!
drew: ho! wow!
caller: right?
adam: yes, yes... and venison?
caller: and venice is in italy!
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Dr. Drew: Where'd you get your clit pierced? In your hood?
Caller: No, at a tattoo parlor uptown.
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Caller: How can I make my semen taste better?
Adam: Start making another 40 grand a year.
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26 year old caller christie, who after she found out her husband had cheated on her, had a threesome with him and another female: if he's gonna do that, he's gonna do it where i can see it!
adam: hold on a second. to me, this is one of the greatest women i've ever met in my life. it's like: "you wanna bang around behind my back? it's time to pay the fiddler! julie! c'mere! start blowin' him! while i, uh, lick his nuts!"
drew, under his breath: oh my god.
adam: "yeah, we'll see mr. smart guy. you'll think twice before you have another affair! don't make me bring in a fourth woman!" (adam starts cracking up)...yeah...talk about a deterrent. yeah, uh, we forced him to eat three quarters of a pepperoni pizza, and drink 4 bud tall boys!
drew: oh my GOD. is it a full moon? what is with the callers tonight?
*banjo music starts*
adam: i'm going to get ready-- drew, assume the crash position. i'm going to ask a very important question.
drew: k, here we go.
adam: hold on. your head is between your knees? hands over your head? get under the desk, drew, in case there's falling debris.
drew, muffled: k, down (unintelligible) i'm down here.
adam: do you guys have kids?
christie: four.
adam, drew, anderson drop simultaneously: NO! AH NO! *shattering glass*
drew: AWW...OHH...
adam: (laughter)
drew: you didn't tell me to close my eyes tight! the light almost blinded me!
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CALLER: I'm addicted to food and to sex.
ADAM: That's a rough combo, because it's hard to get laid when you're fat. They almost cancel each other out.
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To a female caller who wants to break up with her boyfriend:
CALLER: But he has a whole bunch of my stuff.
DREW: Well, go get it.
CALLER: But I don't want to call him, because then he'll think that I like him.
ADAM: Believe me, I've had many a woman call me to come get her crap, and I never thought for a second that she liked me. I could tell by the way she hurried out, slammed the door behind her, and never called again.
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JIM (CALLER): I'm 27 and I'm a virgin.
ADAM: What do you do for a living?
JIM: I make dentures.
ADAM: Jim, you're going to be a virgin for a while.
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To a male caller whose female friend has multiple-personality disorder:
CALLER: Her alter personality is called "Batman," and when she's around me, she says, "Batman wants you to go down."
ADAM: Next time she says that, say, "Comissioner Gordon wants you to blow me."
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...and loads more here;
http://www.angelfire.com/ca2/acarolla/quotes.html
