Hilarious Stuff !

[Darklord]

1] Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing
law somewhere

2] Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

3] Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

4] Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up! also?

5] Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?
:rofl:

 

[SunnyBoi]

was posted b4...funny nonetheless

 

[Darklord]

I dont visit the jokes section much so didnt know about it,sorry

 

[SunnyBoi]

make it a habit then...yhe jokes r really good...

 

[Eazy]

I dont visit the jokes section much so didnt know about it,sorry

I had left this in the jokes section a while back... there are more in these series... here is the lot....

QUESTION: Are you sexually active?
ANSWER: No, I just lie there.

QUESTION: What is your date of birth?
ANSWER: July 15th.
QUESTION: What year?
ANSWER: Every year.

QUESTION: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
ANSWER: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

QUESTION: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
ANSWER: Yes.
QUESTION: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
ANSWER: I forget.
QUESTION: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

QUESTION: How old is your son, the one living with you?
ANSWER: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
QUESTION: How long has he lived with you?
ANSWER: Forty-five years.

QUESTION: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
ANSWER: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
QUESTION: And why did that upset you?
ANSWER: My name is Susan.

QUESTION: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
voodoo or the occult?
ANSWER: We both do.
QUESTION: Voodoo?
ANSWER: We do.
QUESTION: You do?
ANSWER: Yes, voodoo.

QUESTION: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
ANSWER: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

QUESTION: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? _

QUESTION: Were you present when your picture was taken?

QUESTION: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
ANSWER: Yes.
QUESTION: And what were you doing at that time?

QUESTION: She had three children, right?
ANSWER: Yes.
QUESTION: How many were boys?
ANSWER: None.
QUESTION: Were there any girls?

QUESTION: How was your first marriage terminated?
ANSWER: By death.
QUESTION: And by whose death was it terminated?

QUESTION: Can you describe the individual?
ANSWER: He was about medium height and had a beard.
QUESTION: Was this a male, or a female?

QUESTION: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
ANSWER: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

QUESTION: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead
people?
ANSWER: All my autopsies have been on dead people.

QUESTION: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
ANSWER: Oral.

QUESTION: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
ANSWER: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
QUESTION: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
ANSWER: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

QUESTION: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

QUESTION: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ANSWER: No.
QUESTION: Did you check for blood pressure?
ANSWER: No.
QUESTION: Did you check for breathing?
ANSWER: No.
QUESTION: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ANSWER: No.
QUESTION: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
ANSWER: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
QUESTION: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
ANSWER: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law somewhere