During the Cold War, if USA launched a nuke-loaded missile, Soviet
satellites would inform the Soviet army in 3 seconds and in less than 45
seconds Soviet counter-missiles would be on their way. Recent studies
commissioned by US department of Defense included one on nuclear war between
India and Pakistan.
This was their scenario.................
The Pakistan army decides to launch a nuke-missile towards India. They don't
need any permission from their government, and promptly order the
countdowns. Indian technology is highly advanced. In less than 8 seconds,
Indian army detects the Pak countdown and decides to launch a missile in
retribution. But they need permission from the Government of India. They
submit their request to the Indian President. The President forwards it to
the Cabinet.
The Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session. The LS meets, but
due to several walkouts and severe protests by the opposition, it gets
adjourned indefinitely. The President asks for a quick decision. In the mean
time, the Pak missile failed to take off due to technical failure. Their
attempts for a relaunch are still on. Just then the Indian ruling party is
reduced to a minority because a party that was giving outside support
withdraws it. The President asks the PM to prove his majority within a week.
As the ruling party fails to win the confidence vote, a caretaker government
is installed. The caretaker PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch
a nuclear missile. But the Election Commission says that a caretaker
government can not take such a decision because elections are at hand. A
Public Interest Litigation is filed in the Supreme Court alleging misuse of
power by the Election Commission.
The Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, and says the acting PM is
authorized to take this decision in view of the emergency facing the nation.
Just then one of the Pak missiles successfully took off, but it fell 367
miles away from the target, on its own government building at 11.00AM.
Fortunately there were no casualties as no employee had reached the office
that early. In any case, the nuclear core of the missile had detached
somewhere in flight.
The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies from China and
USA. The Indian Government, taking no chances, decides to launch a nuclear
missile of its own, after convening an all-party meeting. This time all the parties
agree. Its three months since the army had sought permission. But as
preparations begin, "pro-humanity", "anti-nuclear" activists come out
against the Government's decision. Human chains are formed and Rasta rokos
organised. In California and Washington endless e-mails are sent to Indians
condemning the government and mentioning "Please forward it to as many
Indians as possible". On the Pakistan side, the missiles kept
malfunctioning. Some missiles deviate from target due to technical failures
or high-speed wind blowing over Rajasthan. Many of them land in the Indian
Ocean killing some fishes.
A missile (smuggled from USA) is pressed into service. Since the Pakistan
army is unable to understand its software, it hits it original destination:
Russia.
Russians successfully intercepts the missile and in retaliation launches a
nuclear missile towards Islamabad. The missile hits the target and creates
havoc. Pakistan cries for help. India expresses deep regrets for what has
happened and sends in a million dollars worth of Parle-G biscuits. Thus
India never gets to launch the missile. Pakistan never gets it right. And we
live happily ever after!!!!
*by email :rofl:
Note: This is only a joke. No offence meant to anyone. We at TechEnclave respect every country and every culture equally.
satellites would inform the Soviet army in 3 seconds and in less than 45
seconds Soviet counter-missiles would be on their way. Recent studies
commissioned by US department of Defense included one on nuclear war between
India and Pakistan.
This was their scenario.................
The Pakistan army decides to launch a nuke-missile towards India. They don't
need any permission from their government, and promptly order the
countdowns. Indian technology is highly advanced. In less than 8 seconds,
Indian army detects the Pak countdown and decides to launch a missile in
retribution. But they need permission from the Government of India. They
submit their request to the Indian President. The President forwards it to
the Cabinet.
The Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session. The LS meets, but
due to several walkouts and severe protests by the opposition, it gets
adjourned indefinitely. The President asks for a quick decision. In the mean
time, the Pak missile failed to take off due to technical failure. Their
attempts for a relaunch are still on. Just then the Indian ruling party is
reduced to a minority because a party that was giving outside support
withdraws it. The President asks the PM to prove his majority within a week.
As the ruling party fails to win the confidence vote, a caretaker government
is installed. The caretaker PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch
a nuclear missile. But the Election Commission says that a caretaker
government can not take such a decision because elections are at hand. A
Public Interest Litigation is filed in the Supreme Court alleging misuse of
power by the Election Commission.
The Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, and says the acting PM is
authorized to take this decision in view of the emergency facing the nation.
Just then one of the Pak missiles successfully took off, but it fell 367
miles away from the target, on its own government building at 11.00AM.
Fortunately there were no casualties as no employee had reached the office
that early. In any case, the nuclear core of the missile had detached
somewhere in flight.
The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies from China and
USA. The Indian Government, taking no chances, decides to launch a nuclear
missile of its own, after convening an all-party meeting. This time all the parties
agree. Its three months since the army had sought permission. But as
preparations begin, "pro-humanity", "anti-nuclear" activists come out
against the Government's decision. Human chains are formed and Rasta rokos
organised. In California and Washington endless e-mails are sent to Indians
condemning the government and mentioning "Please forward it to as many
Indians as possible". On the Pakistan side, the missiles kept
malfunctioning. Some missiles deviate from target due to technical failures
or high-speed wind blowing over Rajasthan. Many of them land in the Indian
Ocean killing some fishes.
A missile (smuggled from USA) is pressed into service. Since the Pakistan
army is unable to understand its software, it hits it original destination:
Russia.
Russians successfully intercepts the missile and in retaliation launches a
nuclear missile towards Islamabad. The missile hits the target and creates
havoc. Pakistan cries for help. India expresses deep regrets for what has
happened and sends in a million dollars worth of Parle-G biscuits. Thus
India never gets to launch the missile. Pakistan never gets it right. And we
live happily ever after!!!!
*by email :rofl:
Note: This is only a joke. No offence meant to anyone. We at TechEnclave respect every country and every culture equally.
