Is boarding school a real solution to impart discipline?

M

MaRKiV

Adept
Me and my cousin were having an argument today... he wants to put his son in a boarding school...

His argument is kid in boarding school get punctual and disciplined and are more responsible than normal school going kids...

But I cant agree a bit with it... since i guess inculcating discipline into a child is the responsibility of the parents and not the boarding school...

What is ur take on this TE folks.. i guess there must be quite a few of u who hv experiences in boarding school... do u agree with his argument?

Whats the use of putting a kid in boarding school?

BTW his kid is jus 9 yrs old.
 
I doubt that it will help discipline but it will help him be more independent and not have a sheltered life
 
I would say that a child at least until his early to mid teens needs the shelter and care of his parents. Probably after another 5 to 6 years it would be good for the child to learn to be independent and self-dependent, but now is the age when he would learn most of the things from the guidance of his parents.
 
ive seen boarders at my school...
and i would definitely not want my kid to be in boarding school, esp at an age as young as 9!

if independance is to be inculcated, it can be done at home if the parents are wilful enough..

just my take on the issue..
 
exactly thats wat i was trying to convey to him.. but he and his wife are software engg and earn loads of money but no time to spend with their kid..

i squarely would blame it on the money they get to shy away from a moral responsiblity...

I pity the kid seriously :(
 
I studied all my life in boarding school (from the age of 6), and I'm happy to say that I turned out fine. My dad struggled to put me through school, we were never very rich. He did it because he wanted to give me the best, the education he never had (he was in an ashram school, after they moved over during the partition). This was when both my parents had plenty of time on their hands - Dad used to be back by 6 from work, and Mom is a housewife. So it wasn't that either.

Anyway I'm happy to see your stereotypes alive and kicking. Boarding school is fine, and the world isn't really going to end in 2012, so drop your judgmental stance. If the parents are indeed doing it because they have no time to spend with the kid, he will have an unhappy childhood, boarding school or no boarding school. I would suggest you ask them to focus on the child. This is not a casual discussion, the attitude of the parents is the problem here, not the method of schooling. If you're second-guessing this, don't. It's not your kid. And these are not nice things to discuss on a public forum for technology, so don't mind my tone. Try a parenting forum.

As for boarding school life, it does give you a more wholesome view of the world. You grow up to be more competitive, and more ready to take on your peers in the real world. It gives you street smarts, and teaches you how to do things the right way. Yes things have changed recently, I went to school two decades ago. But if I was married, I would send my child there myself, in spite of whatever hardship I might have had to go through financially.

You'd be surprised if you knew my opinion of today's generation of kids passing from schools and colleges - shallow, cocky, arrogant and disrespectful, and without any of the merits that would make that behaviour bearable, such as knowledge, depth, and maturity. I guess the emphasis on academics at the expense of all-round development and the creation of good citizens is the way education has gone, for the most part.

I interview a lot of freshers and never cease to be surprised at the utter lack of any quality of knowledge, foresight, perseverance or consideration for about 90 per cent of them, and for most of the remnants, an inability to even have a conversation for 5 minutes. Quality people are rare, and getting rarer.

The general attitude seems to be of expecting life to be laid out on a platter the way their parents laid it out for them. Life is not about that, and that is what boarding school does. It teaches you how to lead a good life, how to be a good citizen, how to be courteous and respectful, and care for things beyond your immediate self. It gives you a wonderful network, that mostly lasts through life unless you choose to retire. I see this kid going the wrong way, but the cure is not the school, the cure has to start at home.
 
That was some very well penned thoughts by Sangram. I couldnt agree with you more.
Apart from the pro's there are an equal number of cons. I could experiment freely with narcotics when I was in a hostel. Came to my room all drunk, did not attend college for two semesters more or less.
Not to say again, I didnt turn out fine. I dont come home drunk, nor do I dance around after smoking week like I did before.
What I am trying to say is, your child does get independent. But its a lot on the will power of the child and how smart the child is. Its very well up to him to learn or abuse his new found independance.

If the child is not comfortable making friends now, I doubt he would fit in properly in a boarding school. Shuch kids need more nurturing and need to be sheltered for a longer time.
 
^ +1

Also it would be great if you have a talk with the kid and get him to understand that the boarding school is not a bad place as people make it out to be. A new place, new friends, etc. Only make sure the parents find time to visit the kid atleast twice a month till he gets adapted to the new environment.
 
Boarding school is a solution for those parents who do not have time to spend on the kid - But what I don't get it why even freakin' have him if you can't spend time on him? Sure...the kid will learn to live like a 45yr Bank Manager 2 years into the boarding school, but can he ever be a good parent himself when he has never tasted real parental love and family values? (and will continue the trend of sending his kids to another boarding school and start a big chain?) You don't get to see the real world in a Boarding school, its just what the school wants you to see of the world that you get to see it. Do you even get to surf porn? Will your kid even cry at your funeral and remember the times you tried to teach him cycling in a weekend trip? Ah..that should be replaced with him crying not be left in a boarding school and then being ass-wanked with a hunter to bed at 9:00pm.

As for boarding school life, it does give you a more wholesome view of the world. You grow up to be more competitive, and more ready to take on your peers in the real world. It gives you street smarts, and teaches you how to do things the right way.
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And kids being brought up the normal way with the parents don't get that? Or are you saying every kid in a boarding school turns out that way? Stop talking like somehow kids from boarding school are better human beings than kids brought up normally.
 
Why would anyone want to keep their child away from home?

If he has some issues then fine, but why send a perfect child to hostel yar..its plain treachery:(

What does the mother have to say in this?
 
Party Monger said:
Why would anyone want to keep their child away from home?

If he has some issues then fine, but why send a perfect child to hostel yar..its plain treachery:(

What does the mother have to say in this?
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lol that depends. My mom refused a big promotion at her work to become a housewife after I was born to look after me since Dad was always out. Now some parents love work and money too much to spend time on their kids...and they see Boarding school as a solution. I guess 50% of these parents have children because the condom broke or she forget to take her pills.
 
Packed off to boarding school at 4. Was top of my class and everything, excelled in state level competitions, independent, over-smart :p and arrogant. By the time I was in my teens, rebelled and became a junkie :)

Most other fellow students turned out real fine but each and every single one of us were distant from our families, hardly knew our relatives. Relied more on our friends than family. If anyone wants really independent children, boarding sounds good. Just don't complain if their definition of independence means running away from you.

Btw, there were instances of buggery, abuse and institutional bullying. Imagine kids living 24/7 with their bullies! It takes just one student or a teacher/ staff to scar a child.

Did I mention it was a very posh Public School? Just so people don't get the notion that only el cheapo boarding schools have the above problems...
 
^^@ Params7, its not always the case. I believe that children should be with their parents atleast till their 10th standard. They understand well what the reasons are for them being at boarding as long as they are valid.

I was put in boarding after my 10th. I loved every bit of my time there. I am a sucess today *atleast my parents think so* so they are fine and happy with their desicion.

^^agree with Naga.
 
^^Home till 10th sounds just right. By that time the child would have enough confidence to stand up for himself/ herself and can also alert the parent of any abuse. But boarding for kids, especially introverts, is a big no no.

Smart kids usually don't face any abuse, due to them being the apple of their teachers' eyes. But they do grow distant.
 
Boarding schools are for those parent's who cannot discipline their kid's by themselves and just leave them to what fate decides for them. Not everyone put into boarding schools turn out fine and there is a far greater chance of abuse of independence at an young age. The discipline imparted by a boarding school can be imparted by a parent in a just as good or even far better manner.

Also, as mentioned in a previous post, a kid in boarding school gets distanced from his parents and begins to rely and treasure his friends more than his parents and I have seen quite a number of cases (a couple of them in my own circle of relatives) where people who spent their childhood in boarding schools/hostels could not be bothered to take care of their parents in their old age and leave them to old age homes and orphanages. Mind you, its not that they do not love them, but just like their parents could not be bothered to personally discipline their children, the kids grew so distant from their parent's that they could not be bothered to take care of their parents personally and just put them into old age homes and what ever connection remains between them is paying money and an occasional visit.

In my personal opinion, there is absolutely no justification for a parent to not take care of disciplining their kid's (at least till they are old enough to take informed decisions on their own) no matter how busy they are. On the same note, I believe that giving independence to the kid is also an important aspect. Take personal attention in disciplining the kid's, but do not take control of every aspect of their life. Lastly, If someone does not have time to discipline their own kid's then they do not ought to have them.

Also, contrary to what Sangram said, there is no special qualification required to understand or voice an opinion on this topic. Just think about it, everyone here was a kid once once who have gone through this in their lives. Most parent's try to give their kid's what they thought has/would have been good for themselves in their childhood.
 
Params7 said:
And kids being brought up the normal way with the parents don't get that? Or are you saying every kid in a boarding school turns out that way? Stop talking like somehow kids from boarding school are better human beings than kids brought up normally.
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One thing they did teach me is to not put words in other's mouths, it doesn't look like your parents or your school taught you that. This sort of irresponsible comment is exactly the problem with this thread, or maybe you don't see it that way. We are not comparing hardware or an OS, there are no absolutes here. Somebody needs to take basic life science lessons - maybe stayed home the day people were learning how to behave?

This is not worthy of a rebuttal, so I'll just dismiss it as a outpouring of angst and feeble intelligence. Once you have had a chance to digest my comment in the spirit it was made, have the courtesy to put down a better reply. It was not to belittle, but to compare. And comparisons exist, and there are differences. Homegrown children are generally more affectionate and family oriented, among other things. If you ask me, I can point out enough negatives about boarding school (and there are a few here) to put off people from any thought of sending their kids to hostels. There's no free lunch in life, or maybe they didn't teach you that either? So stop acting like you are offended by the comment. Even if you are, I don't give a rat's unmentionables.
 
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