Jokes for engineering dudes .....
P.S. i', an engg. student too, so dont take the jokes n a wrong way...
---------------------------------------------
Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a
young engineer fresh out of MIT, 'And what starting salary were you
looking for?'
The engineer said, 'In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending
on the benefits package.'
The interviewer said, 'Well, what would you say to a package of
5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company
matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased
every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?'
The Engineer sat up straight and said, 'Wow! Are you kidding?'
And the interviewer replied, 'Yeah, but you started it.'
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The Frog and the Engineer
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him
and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog
spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer
took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to the
pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the
engineer took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his
pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week, and do anything
you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog - now, that's cool!"
---------------------------------------------------------------
Good Choice !!---
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,
"Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday
minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike.
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes, and said,
"Take what you want."
"The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes
probably wouldn'nt have fit."
--------------------------------------------------------------
Wife or Mistress ?-----
An architect, an artist, and an engineer were discussing whether it was
better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the
passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both."
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each
assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to
the lab and get some work done."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Three engineers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals. The first
engineer finished and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. He
then proceeded to dry his hands very carefully. He used paper towel
after paper towel and ensured that every single spot of water on his
hands was dried. Turning to the other two engineers, he said, 'At
Hewlett Packard, we are trained to be extremely thorough.'
The second engineer finished his task at the urinal and he proceeded to
wash his hands. He used a single paper towel and made sure that he
dried his hands using every available portion of the paper towel. He
turned and said, 'At Lockheed-Martin, not only are we trained to be
extremely thorough, but we are also trained to be extremely efficient.'
The third engineer finished and walked straight for the door, shouting
over his shoulder, 'At Apple Computer, Inc. we don't pee on our hands.'
P.S. i', an engg. student too, so dont take the jokes n a wrong way...
---------------------------------------------
Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a
young engineer fresh out of MIT, 'And what starting salary were you
looking for?'
The engineer said, 'In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending
on the benefits package.'
The interviewer said, 'Well, what would you say to a package of
5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company
matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased
every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?'
The Engineer sat up straight and said, 'Wow! Are you kidding?'
And the interviewer replied, 'Yeah, but you started it.'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Frog and the Engineer
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him
and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog
spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer
took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to the
pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the
engineer took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his
pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week, and do anything
you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog - now, that's cool!"
---------------------------------------------------------------
Good Choice !!---
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,
"Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday
minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike.
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes, and said,
"Take what you want."
"The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes
probably wouldn'nt have fit."
--------------------------------------------------------------
Wife or Mistress ?-----
An architect, an artist, and an engineer were discussing whether it was
better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the
passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both."
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each
assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to
the lab and get some work done."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Three engineers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals. The first
engineer finished and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. He
then proceeded to dry his hands very carefully. He used paper towel
after paper towel and ensured that every single spot of water on his
hands was dried. Turning to the other two engineers, he said, 'At
Hewlett Packard, we are trained to be extremely thorough.'
The second engineer finished his task at the urinal and he proceeded to
wash his hands. He used a single paper towel and made sure that he
dried his hands using every available portion of the paper towel. He
turned and said, 'At Lockheed-Martin, not only are we trained to be
extremely thorough, but we are also trained to be extremely efficient.'
The third engineer finished and walked straight for the door, shouting
over his shoulder, 'At Apple Computer, Inc. we don't pee on our hands.'
