Lab report

T

TheMask

Skilled
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica] A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead.

Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion. The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog. The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head.

"There" says the vet,†Your hamster is dead".

Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion. The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat. The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head.

"It's definitely dead sir", says the vet.

Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes.

"That will be £1000, please".

"A £1000 just to tell me my hamster is dead" fumes the man.

"Well", says the vet, "There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan".[/font]
 
^^ :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Poor Masky !

Thats actually funnier than the joke :D
 
A woman brought a very limp duck to the vet clinic. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm so sorry, but your pet has passed on.

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. The duck is dead," he said.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "You haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might be in a coma or something".

The vet rolled his eyes, turned and left the room. He returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet and with sad eyes, shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed the duck from its beak to the tail and back again.

The cat sat on his haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, jumped from the table and left the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck". Then the vet turned to his computer, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The ducks owner took the bill, and in shock said "1500.00. $1500.00 just to tell me my duck is dead?"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you would have taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20.00, but with the Lab report and Cat scan, it all adds up.
 
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