MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET
HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION BULLETIN
SUBJECT: WOMAN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS
Element: Woman
Symbol: No
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 53kg, but may vary from 40 to 100kg
Occurrence: Copious quantities in urban areas
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Surface usually covered with painted film
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without known reason
3. Melts given special treatment
4. Bitter if incorrectly used
5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore
6. Yields to pressure applied at correct points
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Has great affinity for gold, silver and precious stones
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and without known reason
4. Insoluble in water, but activity greatly increased when soaked in alcohol
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man
COMMON USES
1. Highly ornamental especially in a sports car
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation
3. Very effective cleaning agent
TESTS
1. Pure specimens turn rosy pink when discovered in their natural state
2. Turns green when placed next to a better specimen
POTENTIAL HAZARD
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations provided that specimens do not come into contact with one another.
HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION BULLETIN
SUBJECT: WOMAN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS
Element: Woman
Symbol: No
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 53kg, but may vary from 40 to 100kg
Occurrence: Copious quantities in urban areas
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Surface usually covered with painted film
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without known reason
3. Melts given special treatment
4. Bitter if incorrectly used
5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore
6. Yields to pressure applied at correct points
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Has great affinity for gold, silver and precious stones
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and without known reason
4. Insoluble in water, but activity greatly increased when soaked in alcohol
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man
COMMON USES
1. Highly ornamental especially in a sports car
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation
3. Very effective cleaning agent
TESTS
1. Pure specimens turn rosy pink when discovered in their natural state
2. Turns green when placed next to a better specimen
POTENTIAL HAZARD
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations provided that specimens do not come into contact with one another.