Redneck's Medical Dictionary

H

hellfire

Adept
The Redneck Dictionary of Medical Terms

Benign.............................What you be after you be eight.

Artery.............................The study of paintings.

Bacteria...........................Back door to cafeteria.

Barium.............................What doctors do when patients die.

Cesarean Section...................A neighborhood in Rome.

CATscan............................Searching for kitty.

Cauterize..........................Made eye contact with her.

Coma...............................A punctuation mark.

Dilate.............................To live long.

Enema..............................Not a friend.

Fester.............................Quicker than someone else.

Fibula.............................A small lie.

Genital............................Non-Jewish person.

Impotent...........................Distinguished, well known.

Labor Pain.........................Getting hurt at work.

Medical Staff......................A Doctor's cane.

Morbid.............................A higher offer than I bid.

Nitrates...........................Cheaper than day rates.

Node...............................I knew it.

Outpatient.........................A person who has fainted.

Pap Smear..........................A fatherhood test.

Pelvis.............................Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative.....................A letter carrier.

Recovery Room......................Place to do upholstery.

Rectum.............................Damn near killed him.

Secretion..........................Hiding something.

Seizure............................Roman emperor.

Tablet.............................A small table.

Terminal Illness...................Getting sick at the airport.

Tumor..............................More than one.

Urine..............................Opposite of you're out.

Varicose...........................Near by/close by.

:p
 
Reminds me of a lil incident.

One of my friends was cheap drunk when i cracked a joke. A drunk fella laughs like nobody and like no tomorrow.. and this person followed suit.

He all of a sudden declares : "Shut Up.. I got labour pains"

I asked do explain what does labor pain means

Reply: "Abbey when the labour (the labour at construction site he meant) works the whole day long and returns home at dusk, the pain they feel is the real pain.. the labour pain"

"So i am feeling labour pain because of your jokes so just shut up."

I knew the definition wasnt due to the rum he had downed.
 
I've heard/read a couple of funny ones where the wrong word was used:
"I'll intimidate you when it happens".(Some customer care girl once told me this)
"Aaiye main aapka inse intercourse karwa doon".(Read it in Khushwant Singh's joke book)
 
Heard this one, true story: A very reputed South Delhi public school...the Principal introducing a guest at the function .... "he's a very funny guy".
 
hellfire said:
Heard this one, true story: A very reputed South Delhi public school...the Principal introducing a guest at the function .... "he's a very funny guy".
Click to expand...
am i missing something? I dont see anything wrong .. ?
 
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