Safin
Skilled
presenting one and only Donald Rumsfeld 
hyeah:
Now for some rummies... to leave you stumped
Rummy For Dummies
"I shouldn't get into ... this is diplomacy, and I don't do diplomacy"
One that does not bode well for the beautiful city in which I live (Bath)...
"There's no question but that this country's got to go through a deba'athification process"
"I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past - I think the past was not predictable when it started."
"What we are seeing is not the war in Iraq - what we are seeing are slices of the war in Iraq."
Reporter: "Would the United States go to war without Great Britain?"
Rumsfeld: "Their situation is distinctive to their country and they have a government that deals with a Parliament in their way, distinctive way, and what will ultimately be decided is unclear as to their role, um, that is to say their role in the event a decision is made to use force..."
"It's an enormous country - you know, it's bigger than Texas! Or as big, I guess - I haven't looked lately."
"If I said yes, that would then suggest that that might be the only place where it might be done which would not be accurate ... necessarily accurate ... it might also not be inaccurate, but I mean ... I'm disinclined to mislead anyone."
"I also know that stating what might be preferable, er, is simply stating what might be preferable."
"The dumbest thing anyone could do would be to stand up here and start previewing things that somebody's thinking about or not thinking about or starting to disabuse you of each thing somebody tells you that we're thinking about, because then the first time we don't disabuse you, you'll say 'aha - that's what they're going to do!' "
"You know I'm not a lawyer - I don't do that!"
"If I know the answer I'll tell you the answer, and if I don't, I'll just respond, cleverly."
"I am shocked! ... Sort of."
"It's like, you know, stirring for troubled waters."
"The statement I made is sound as a rock ... [laughter] ... I didn't say Iraq!"
"We do have a saying in America: if you're in a hole, stop digging ..... erm, I'm not sure I should have said that."
"For people to waste their time chasing that rabbit, only to run it down and find they've got the wrong rabbit, I think is a shame."
Reporter: "Mr Secretary, what do you think of the situation in Georgia?"
Rumsfeld: "Who else had their hand up?"
"I don't have any sport clothes."
"The construct I would suggest would be, um, what are the benefits - what are the advantages and disadvantages of not acting? And of course, the advantage of not acting - against the moon - would be that no-one could say that you acted. They would say, 'Isn't that good - you didn't do anything against the moon'. The other side of the coin of not acting against the moon, in the event that the moon posed a serious threat, would be that you then suffered a serious loss, and you're sorry after that's over. And in weighing the things, you would have to make a judgement ... or net ... do you think you are acting most responsibly by avoiding the threat that could be characterised - X numbers of people dying, innocent people, and it's that kind of a evaluation one would have to make."
"If you went back and looked at the quote - requirements, you would find that there was a requirement to, er, if something was going to last so many days, there was a requirement to have so many dumb bombs, and so many smart bombs. And it turns out if you finish an exercise like Afghanistan, and you say 'oh my goodness, the requirement for dumb bombs was about ten times more than we thought we needed, and the requirement for smart bombs was, er, some multiple of what we actually thought we would need ... more - we needed more than we thought - then what you learn from that is that you learn to go back and change the quote requirement - and drop one and increase one."
"Dim the lights!"
"I normally would not come down in my vest, but they just ... redid me, and it's wet, so I can't put my coat on."
"Were they Afghans, they could melt into the ... scenery..."
"Uhhh ... incentivise a large number of people to begin crawling through those tunnels and caves looking for the bad folks."
"This is fantastic - I've got a laser pointer! ... Holy mackerel ... ah man, that's terrific!"
"The threats are real, and the lethality is multiples of what we have previously experienced."
"Charlie ... the barnyard!"
"Near my office is an American flag done in ... origami ... that's one of those words that I haven't mastered yet"
"We do know of certain knowledge that he [Osama Bin Laden] is either in Afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead."
"Well, um, something's neither good nor bad but thinking makes it so, I suppose - as Shakespeare said"
"Will any single prisoner be treated humanely? You bet. Will they be restrained in a way so that they are less likely to be able to kill an American soldier? You bet. Is it inhumane to do that? No. Would it be stupid to do anything else? Yes."
"Low density, high demand assets."
"I believe what I said yesterday ... I don't know what I said, er, but I know what I think, and ... well, I assume it's what I said."
"Oh goodness ... I shouldn't say 'I don't think so', although that's what I think."
"The message is that there are known knowns - there are things that we know that we know. There are known unknowns - that is to say, there are things that we now know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns - there are things we do not know we don't know. And each year we discover a few more of those unknown unknowns."
hyeah:
Now for some rummies... to leave you stumped
Rummy For Dummies
"I shouldn't get into ... this is diplomacy, and I don't do diplomacy"
One that does not bode well for the beautiful city in which I live (Bath)...
"There's no question but that this country's got to go through a deba'athification process"
"I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past - I think the past was not predictable when it started."
"What we are seeing is not the war in Iraq - what we are seeing are slices of the war in Iraq."
Reporter: "Would the United States go to war without Great Britain?"
Rumsfeld: "Their situation is distinctive to their country and they have a government that deals with a Parliament in their way, distinctive way, and what will ultimately be decided is unclear as to their role, um, that is to say their role in the event a decision is made to use force..."
"It's an enormous country - you know, it's bigger than Texas! Or as big, I guess - I haven't looked lately."
"If I said yes, that would then suggest that that might be the only place where it might be done which would not be accurate ... necessarily accurate ... it might also not be inaccurate, but I mean ... I'm disinclined to mislead anyone."
"I also know that stating what might be preferable, er, is simply stating what might be preferable."
"The dumbest thing anyone could do would be to stand up here and start previewing things that somebody's thinking about or not thinking about or starting to disabuse you of each thing somebody tells you that we're thinking about, because then the first time we don't disabuse you, you'll say 'aha - that's what they're going to do!' "
"You know I'm not a lawyer - I don't do that!"
"If I know the answer I'll tell you the answer, and if I don't, I'll just respond, cleverly."
"I am shocked! ... Sort of."
"It's like, you know, stirring for troubled waters."
"The statement I made is sound as a rock ... [laughter] ... I didn't say Iraq!"
"We do have a saying in America: if you're in a hole, stop digging ..... erm, I'm not sure I should have said that."
"For people to waste their time chasing that rabbit, only to run it down and find they've got the wrong rabbit, I think is a shame."
Reporter: "Mr Secretary, what do you think of the situation in Georgia?"
Rumsfeld: "Who else had their hand up?"
"I don't have any sport clothes."
"The construct I would suggest would be, um, what are the benefits - what are the advantages and disadvantages of not acting? And of course, the advantage of not acting - against the moon - would be that no-one could say that you acted. They would say, 'Isn't that good - you didn't do anything against the moon'. The other side of the coin of not acting against the moon, in the event that the moon posed a serious threat, would be that you then suffered a serious loss, and you're sorry after that's over. And in weighing the things, you would have to make a judgement ... or net ... do you think you are acting most responsibly by avoiding the threat that could be characterised - X numbers of people dying, innocent people, and it's that kind of a evaluation one would have to make."
"If you went back and looked at the quote - requirements, you would find that there was a requirement to, er, if something was going to last so many days, there was a requirement to have so many dumb bombs, and so many smart bombs. And it turns out if you finish an exercise like Afghanistan, and you say 'oh my goodness, the requirement for dumb bombs was about ten times more than we thought we needed, and the requirement for smart bombs was, er, some multiple of what we actually thought we would need ... more - we needed more than we thought - then what you learn from that is that you learn to go back and change the quote requirement - and drop one and increase one."
"Dim the lights!"
"I normally would not come down in my vest, but they just ... redid me, and it's wet, so I can't put my coat on."
"Were they Afghans, they could melt into the ... scenery..."
"Uhhh ... incentivise a large number of people to begin crawling through those tunnels and caves looking for the bad folks."
"This is fantastic - I've got a laser pointer! ... Holy mackerel ... ah man, that's terrific!"
"The threats are real, and the lethality is multiples of what we have previously experienced."
"Charlie ... the barnyard!"
"Near my office is an American flag done in ... origami ... that's one of those words that I haven't mastered yet"
"We do know of certain knowledge that he [Osama Bin Laden] is either in Afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead."
"Well, um, something's neither good nor bad but thinking makes it so, I suppose - as Shakespeare said"
"Will any single prisoner be treated humanely? You bet. Will they be restrained in a way so that they are less likely to be able to kill an American soldier? You bet. Is it inhumane to do that? No. Would it be stupid to do anything else? Yes."
"Low density, high demand assets."
"I believe what I said yesterday ... I don't know what I said, er, but I know what I think, and ... well, I assume it's what I said."
"Oh goodness ... I shouldn't say 'I don't think so', although that's what I think."
"The message is that there are known knowns - there are things that we know that we know. There are known unknowns - that is to say, there are things that we now know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns - there are things we do not know we don't know. And each year we discover a few more of those unknown unknowns."
