Scientific Jokes

X

XTerminator

Skilled
Q: Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium

and just couldn't put it down?

Ans: It was probably just light reading. :tongue:

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Q: if both a bear in Yosemite and one in Alaska fall into the water

which one disolves faster?

A: The one in Alaska because it is Polar. :tongue:

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Q: What weapon can you make from the Chemicals Potassium, Nickel and Iron?

A: KNiFe. :rofl:

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Two chemists meet for the first time at a symposium. One is American,

one is British. The British chemists asks the American chemist, "So what

do you do for research?" The American responds, "Oh, I work with arsoles."

The Brit responds, "Yes, sometimes my colleagues get on my nerves also."
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Investigators at a major research institute have discovered the heaviest element known to science. This startling new discovery has been tentatively named Administratium (Ad).

The new element has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons, for an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert.

However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it came into contact.
According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons, vice-neutrons, and assistant vice-neutrons exchange places. In fact, an Administratium sample's mass will actually increase over time, since with each reorganization some of the morons inevitably become neutrons, forming new isotopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the "Critical Morass".
 
hmm..........
the above post is more of reality than a joke:p
BTW,
this post, marks my 435th post which is currently the highest on the board:tongue:
 
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