Another Santa Banta joke

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1] The following Ad appeared in a daily paper :"Are u illiterate ?

You don't know how to read and write?

If thatz the case then do write to us and let us help u.

2]Why is Indian Government the most neutral in the world ?
-Because it does not even interfere in its own affairs.

3] Maths Teacher :If I had 2 apples in one hand and 4 in another hand ,what would I have ?

Student :Very big hands , sir........
 
Rogue said:
A man trying to understand nature of God asked him :God how much is a million yrs to u ?

God : A million yrs is like a minute to me.

Man :And how much is a million dollars to u ?

God :A million dollars is like a penny to me.

Man : ok then God plz giv me a penny.

God : Ok child ,just a minute.........:ohyeah:
-By Khushwant Singh.

U all must hav read this one but it still makes me laugh ,so I posted it.
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my mom told me bout this joke when i was a kid only then it was bout a Asura asking Brahma :) "currency" was ofcouse world treasures combined :D
 
Rogue said:
Well if u said I will Mr VIRu$$$$$$$$$$ I will mention the name .
I tOok them 4m KHUSWANT SINGH'S JOKE BOOK NO.5 4M PAGE NO 38,39.HAPPY NOW.
Will U tell me now do U mention the name of a writer each time when U say any jokes if possible [cauz u dont seem 2 hav any sense of humour ]
Now dude UUUUUUU get a life cause santa banta jokes r not created by any body its well understood by the name santa banta that they belong to Mr khuswant singh,hez the Creator of all such jokes .
If U don't know about it, was not my problem ,and can U plz point out where the hell I said dat it was self written by meeeeeee.
This joke posted by me iz not goin to gain me any glory ,fame, money,nickels or reputation on TECKENCLAVE its just 4 reading and smiling 4 a while and 4getting .

kisi ko rulana bahut aasan hota hai magar kisi ko hasana bahut mushkil

OH NO SORRY I 4GOT TO MENTION WHO WROTE THIS ,SO I WILL MENTION IT I SAW IT ON BACK SIDE OF A TEMPO BUT DON'T KNOW HIS NAME WILL SURELY LET U KNOW AFTER 2-3 YRS PAL .

JUST TAKE A CHILL PILL VIRU$$$$$$$$$$$$.

AND BYE THE WAY THAT SHULD NOT BE DUDE K.
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I think this is the best joke in this post. :P Good reply Girl... ;)

No offences to anybody BTW. TMGs are already too happy with me. :P So, dont want a flame war.

Just chill chill just chill...
 
An Englishman,an American,and a Sardarji were called upon to test a lie detector

1 CASE
The Englishman said ,I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer.
BUZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!! went the detector .
OK ,he said 10 bottles ,And the machine went silent.
2 CASE
The American said , I think I can have 16 hamburgers.
BUZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!! went the machine .
OK ,he said 8 hamburgers,And then the machine went silent.
3 CASE
The Sardarji said,I think???????
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:rofl:
 
1.
Sardar called wife, "Main ghar nahi aa sakda, meri car da sterring, dash board, gear te stereo chori ho gaye ne.

After some time he calls again, "Main aa reya aan, pehle pichli seat te be gaya si"

=============================================

2.
Lady to Punjab Police....
"Ji mera pati 5 din pehle gobi lane gaya tha, aabhi tak nahin lota"...

Punjab police inspector...
"Te hor koi sabzi bana le"...

=============================================

3.
Ek sardarji helmet pehen kar sar khuja rahe the, ek aadmi ne poocha...
"Sardarji, helmet to utar lo"...

Sardarji gusse main bole...
"Abe tujhe pechhe khujli hoti hai to pant utar ke khujata hai kya"...

=============================================

4.
Santa went to buy an underwear and asked the shopkeeper...
"Paji vadiya vekhao"...

Shopkeeper shows him one and says...
"Ae vekho sardarji, 150 da hai"

Sardarji says...
"Paji daily use dekhao, Party wear nahin chahida"...

=============================================

5.
Banta: What is common between Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji and Jesus??
Santa: Easy yaar!! All were born on government holidays.

Enjoy!!
 
lol nice jokes Justin.............:rofl:

This is another one........

A Sardarji asked his son ,Beta how much is 9 multiplied by 8.

Son :papaji its 74..

Sardarji :oyeeee very good puttar very good, have this chocolate.

Neighbour :but sardarji 9 multiplied by 8 is 72 ,and not 74.

Sardarji :He is improving ,yesterday he was saying 88.
 
1) Two umemployed sardars in UK saw a poster at a police station "TWO WHITE MEN WANTED FOR RAPE". One says to the other, "Bloody whites, always get the best jobs".

2) A sardar in the US wants to get a part time job doing errands to earn some money. He goes to a house with an indian couple and asks them if they have any work to be done. The man replies "How much will u charge to paint my porch?". The sardar replies "How about $50?". The man says fine and asks him to start. His wife is worried and says "Darling are u sure u should let him do it after all we've heard about sardars?". He tells her not to worry. "Does he know that its a full day's work as the porch runs around the entire house?". "He must have, he was standing right on it". They are surprised when he comes in 10 minutes later and says hes finished. "There was some extra paint left over so i put two more coats on. Oh and by the way, its not a porch, its a BMW!".
 
Two men met in heaven,What did u die of ?,asked one to the other.

I died of extreme cold .And what did u die of ?

I came home from work and heared my wife talking to a stranger .On entering the house,I searched every nook and corner but could not find anyone anywhere .:huh:

I felt so guilty :( about my behaviour that my heart failed ?

On this the other one said ,Had u cared to open the fridge,if you would have done that neither of us would have died..........
source:e-mail

 
1.
Sardar goes to get birth certificate for his second baby. Birth Certificate issuer asks:
"Tell relative's nationality..."

Sardarji:
"Father: Sikh, Mother: Sikh, Elder Brother: Sikh, New Born: Chinese"

Issuer (surprised):
"How come new born is chinese when all relatives are Sikh??"

Sardarji:
"Newspaper says every 4th person in this world is a chinese"

2.
Sardarji goes to buy a computer.

Vendor:
"Sardarji, buy this computer and it will cut your work to half"

Sardarji (very happy):
"Ok, give me two of the same model..."

3.
Sardarji goes to buy a TV.

Sardarji to vendor:
"Do you have color TVs"

Vendor:
"Yes"

Sardarji:
"Give me a green one"

4.
Friend to sardarji:
"Have you read shakespeare?"

Sardarji:
"No, who wrote it?"

5.
Sardar throwing bricks in water. A man passes by. Amused, he asks:
"Sardarji, why are you throwing bricks in water"

Sardarji:
"See, I am trying to solve this mystery: The bricks are rectangular and the waves are circular"
6. And the best one...
A friend comes home of his friend Sardarji and finds him unhappy.

Friend:
"What happened Sardarji..??"

Sardarji:
"Yaar, I lost 1000 Rupees in bet yesterday"

Friend:
"How come?"

Sardarji:
"Actually I bet 500 rupees on India wining against Australia on TV but India Lost"

Friend:
"But thats only 500. You said you lost 1000??"

Sardarji:
"Yaar, I bet on highlights too..."

:rofl:
 
The broilers and eggs of a poultry breeders,Santa Banta were the best in the market.

A man complimented them and asked,"What do u feed ur birds to get such excellent products ?"

"They said the very good food like:almonds,pistachios,pure ghee mixed in the chicken feed."

"How interesting!" replied the other.Iam 4m the income tax dept ,I'd like to know where do u got that money to buy such expensive stuff.

Santa and Banta were stunned and thereafter both were on guard .When next visitor asked them about what they feed the birds ,they said no we do not feed them anything ,we starve them.

Visitor:Whatttt!!!! u said u starve them,Now this calls 4 an action,Iam 4m the Society 4 the prevention on animal cruelty and I charge u both with offence of starving chickens..

Next time Santa Banta were more careful and cautious than b4 .
When the third visitor came and said, what do u both feed the chickens that they give such excellent products.

SANTA BANTA smartly said we don't feed them any thing we just give them 1 rupee each every day and let them buy whatever they like to eat.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
 
Santa went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped
the operator twice.
:-(

Guess why ?

because there it was written "Number dial karne se
pehele do lagao"
 
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