Bye India

[red dragon]

What!! We have been married for 6 years with a kid. I know of at least 4 guys from my medical school in UK now married to white women.
This is not the first time I am hearing this. But wonder why or how this opinion emerged?
For myself, it felt absolutely normal. Was working in Geneva HQ, went to Bratislava for some official work.
I go to AA/ NA meetings even after 18 years. Met my wife in a NA meeting room at Kosice ( she is doing it for 16 years) Found out we work in the same organisation ( me, infectious disease, she was with retro virus at that time), for next 6 months or so, maintained a long distance thing, finally moved to Prague together. Tied the knot after the kid was born.
There was nothing abnormal about the whole thing. My mom, her parents, everyone was happy. Nobody thought about my skin colour. My father and mother in law treat me like their own son.
If a Slavic family can accept me as their son without any issue whatsoever, how can a white woman becomes a problem in India?
If this is not racism, what is?
Sure, I should log out and never come back here. But I want to know, what exactly happened to this country and why?
BTW, guys who are PMing me with strange questions in a particular line, sorry, I don't have sufficient experience. But things shouldn't differ much. We are all made up of same/ similar cells.
One guy reached out with some substance abuse and mental health issues, firstly I can assure that you will remain forever anonymous . PMed you my email. Shoot an email, yes, of course we do recover, no matter how low we got ourselves into. There are plenty of free help in the city you live. NA/ AA groups are extremely helpful in India, many of the members came to our hotel when we were going through a very bad time and they helped a lot. One of them came and stayed with us till Kolkata airport.

 

[rdst_1]

India, just like every other place in the world, have their own share of bad people. Most of us live our life in a bubble, far away from the bitter realities, which, for some, are actually part and parcel of their daily grind. Hence when we come across something like that, it shocks us, even more so when it actually happens to us.
Like you have said, you have dealt with some pretty gnarly crowds in some of the worst places in the world. However, it seems you were somehow prepared for that. Here, you weren't prepared. Hell, you weren't even aware something like this can happen as you didn't have an experience like this before. The anger is justified, but don't go on blaming yourself. You, of all people (medical background), should know that victim tend to blame themselves even when they have done nothing wrong.
One of my friends', who is an Indian, was looted by a bunch of teenagers in Bihar and then left completely naked on the side of a road. He had just gone for a after-dinner stroll. He couldn't have fathomed something like this happening to him based on his previous experiences. Similarly, couple of my friends' have been mugged in US and till that moment they wouldn't believe that something like that could happen to them. They are a lot more careful now and that's the only lesson one can take away from experiences like these.

 

[nRiTeCh]

Fcuk off!! I did register a police complaint at Delhi (probably Ranjitnagar) and think I will mail everything to Indian/ Czech and Slovak embassies. I do not give a flying **** of what you believe. Not every person in this world lies through the teeth. I can link up at least 10 videos/ blog posts where Czech women were attacked/ molested in India. This is not Deshbhakti assh0l3...Have you ever stepped a foot outside your town/village?
Show me your credentials, I will gladly send you the police report, provided your credential goes beyond some undergrad student.

I can understand man...

The tendency here is getting cheaper here day by day. You try to help with your finger and they will grab your complete hand and take unde advantage.

Here, its better to follow a simple rule: you live your life and let the sufferer to suffer. No need to think about their betterment be it slumdog, beggar, you next door bankrupt neighbor or any richie rich!
Its their karma hence its their suffering.

Police here as bloody arseholes esp. in places like delhi noida etc.

I can sense the hurt you and your wife has gone through.

Better never ever even think off returning here...may be only in your next life.

Indian mentality is never gonna change and its only going to downgrade day by day esp in very fingertips metros like Mumbai.

Its all fckking women biz here going around.. and law hangs such criminals only after serving biryani, spending crores for good 5-10yrs.

Be it women covered in complete clothes, semi nude or fully, she is gonna get gang-raped even in daylight and no one is gonna do anything but just shoot and upload the incident to get likes for fame!! sic pathetic!! Nor anyone want to deal with such incidents when they are happening,ive for the fer of their own and families life and safety.
(this btw was already said by citizens on a popular news channels in Nov 2019 where the channels took a random survey with respect to womens respect, safety and sufferings)

And lastly, unless the commenters doesn't actually go through this pain and hurt he/she is just gonna keep shitting so let them also suffer this episode and then come here and will give the exact same replies to them...

Btw no intentions to pin point any member who posted in this thread or otherwise.

 

[sushil.mudgil]

Log out and never return. Now you have seen the tenacity of the bhakts. Welcome to India 2020 my friend.
P.S. I would suggest reporting the PMs to the mods so that these buggers can be booted off.

What the need to use "bahkts" here . I understand your political leanings but thats not being discussed here. OP had a Bad experience and it can happen in europe as well. Don't we too face racial discrimination in europe ??

Its a simple law & order problem & few need to be bought to book. we are giving it a political twist out of no where.

 

[red dragon]

No man, it is not only a law & order problem. Something is going wrong with India in last 10 year or so. I am not hinting anything political at all. Something to do with the stagnant socio-economic condition possibly. Most middle aged people I know in India were doing better economically in 2010. I am not sure what it is, as I do not live there anymore, but could feel it.

 

[sushil.mudgil]

No man, it is not only a law & order problem. Something is going wrong with India in last 10 year or so. I am not hinting anything political at all. Something to do with the stagnant socio-economic condition possibly. Most middle aged people I know in India were doing better economically in 2010. I am not sure what it is, as I do not live there anymore, but could feel it.

I beleive we can disagree.... I dont see any strong reason to agree with you wrt to economy. I dont claim to work in core finacial sector but there is a lot that have happened in rural india & Infrastructure space pretty much visible in past 10 years . Problem with average joe is that he wants all facilities right on his fee but is not ready to pay for it via taxes.. untill how far govt of day can carry free loaders.......people can say falling GDP and what not.. but am not bothered... all around me hav got their dues and have prosperred in since 2010.... either way, there was tons of muck inherited and its been cleaned systematically... Rome was not build single day.

On another topic, I am not sure what economic factors have to do with your case. I travel across the world due to my work.. Asia / Europe / Americas and universal truth is that you willl find such people everywhere. u cannot generalise that its happenig across india since 2010...

 

[Marcus Fenix]

What the need to use "bahkts" here . I understand your political leanings but thats not being discussed here. OP had a Bad experience and it can happen in europe as well. Don't we too face racial discrimination in europe ??

Its a simple law & order problem & few need to be bought to book. we are giving it a political twist out of no where.

Where exactly did I blame government or any political party for that matter? It did not even come to my mind. Always stayed away from party/politics even when had an Indian passport.
My mom and dad in-law, boss, pretty much everyone, who has never been to India told us not to come to India for such a long time and travel so much. I never ever took them seriously. I spent 35 years in this country, and never believed a thing about racial discrimination. In fact somewhere still believe that we got into an unfortunate one-off accident. She is family dude, she is the mother of our child. Of course I feel kind of responsible, should have been more cautious, should have listened to people around us.
Hope you understand that our jobs have hardened us enough to deal with adversities to some extent ( like getting robbed at gun point, it happened a couple of times, we worked with junkies, in facts years ago we were like them, which drove us to do what we do now. We understand addicts/ alcoholics but not perverts/ racis) But this direct physical attack not for money or valuables was first time experience.
Anyway, I am sorry, if words sounded like having some hidden political undertones, but trust me I can not even name 10 political leaders active in India atm. I am no ambassador of India, not even a citizen anymore. And a big fat NO, we do not waste time blaming the govt. even for a minute. We ****ing work for betterment of the people about whom society has forgotten , those ghost like people larking around in dark alleys. They never scared us, but those asshole Jaths / Punjabis/ whatever did, those were not junkies, even worse, subhuman beings. Now I'm getting really angry, if I see one of those fcukfaces in our community, they will get their wigs split.

I was reacting to this statement where it was automatically assumed by another member that any issue with the general mentality of a majority of Indians is a criticism of the current government by the OP.

This kind of fanboyism at any criticism and assuming its being targeted at the government is what I meant by "bhakt" mentality.
No one made any statement regarding politics anywhere before this assumption was made.

 

[blr_p]

Where exactly did I blame government or any political party for that matter? It did not even come to my mind. Always stayed away from party/politics even when had an Indian passport.
My mom and dad in-law, boss, pretty much everyone, who has never been to India told us not to come to India for such a long time and travel so much. I never ever took them seriously. I spent 35 years in this country, and never believed a thing about racial discrimination. In fact somewhere still believe that we got into an unfortunate one-off accident. She is family dude, she is the mother of our child. Of course I feel kind of responsible, should have been more cautious, should have listened to people around us.

Not saying you blamed the govt, saying stop blaming yourself

The part where you say being Indian and this happened makes you ashamed is the part i'm getting at. Just that nothing more.

Could it be any less worse if the same happened in another country ? no, right.

The best thing you can do is learn from it.

If you had a second chance what would you not do ?

Hope you understand that our jobs have hardened us enough to deal with adversities to some extent ( like getting robbed at gun point, it happened a couple of times, we worked with junkies, in facts years ago we were like them, which drove us to do what we do now. We understand addicts/ alcoholics but not perverts/ racis) But this direct physical attack not for money or valuables was first time experience.

Given the kind of work you do, odds that something will happen are higher than with people not in your profession. You are rolling the dice more often than we are.

You will likely end up in tough area in some other country again.

I should tell you i do not subscribe to the liberal definition of racism. What people call racism is just harassment or discrimination to me. Nothing more.

Racism is a very serious charge. It implies advocating harming or killing people of a certain group and actively involved in such. This way you set the bar high. You are unlikely to meet any real racists unless you get into war zones.

We ****ing work for betterment of the people about whom society has forgotten , those ghost like people larking around in dark alleys. They never scared us, but those asshole Jaths / Punjabis/ whatever did, those were not junkies, even worse, subhuman beings. Now I'm getting really angry, if I see one of those fcukfaces in our community, they will get their wigs split.

Your'e doing good work. Keep it up.

There are predators every where. People are more alert to them these days than in the past. Things are slowly improving for the better

The problem as i see it is a culture of impunity. Some people think they can get away with anything. This happens when law & order is weak. When justice is not seen to be delivered. This is deadly. When people celebrate the custodial killing of the Hyderabad 4 you get an idea of how far we have yet to go.

Where did it come from ? since you mention Punjab, that place went through hell in the 80s. Free for all. This is where the word dehumanise applies.

Crimes committed. Kill the cops, the judges, the lawyers & witnesses. If that wasn't enough bump off newspaper owners as well.

It was a hard fight to retrieve the situation. We did it. Not without scars.

 

[red dragon]

You are absolutely right. Racism is not the word. It is more like discrimination. It is really maddening when people assume white woman= loose.
We do what we do, not only for money. Both of us suffered from the disease of addiction and we consider our jobs as blessings from God. We understand and help addicts/ alcoholics where there is no racial discrimination.

 

[blr_p]

No man, it is not only a law & order problem. Something is going wrong with India in last 10 year or so. I am not hinting anything political at all. Something to do with the stagnant socio-economic condition possibly. Most middle aged people I know in India were doing better economically in 2010. I am not sure what it is, as I do not live there anymore, but could feel it.

The way Ashish Nandy explained this ten years ago is people from the villages come to the big city in larger numbers as agricultural incomes decrease people move to other things.

They bring their attitudes along with them. We have to go through this phase as no country can survive with over 50% of its people in the agriculture sector alone.

Literally the well being of this country depends on the monsoons. No longer viable in the 21st century.

Bush once asked Hu Jintao what kept him up at night. The answer came quick. Jobs.

Same thing here.