Civil manners in India

[abhi1984]

Given that we are on a roll while bashing India, I thought we could have one more new discussion.
Here's what has been bugging me for years, one of the lessons I have learned in my sixth class was called civics. Not only did it talk about the general formation of LS, RS, PM etc, it also talked about civil manners which people need to follow. Some of them were pretty easy:
1. While walking down a road, don't walk in a line of 3-4 blocking it. Someone, might be in rush behind you.
2. Don't stand in narrow corridors, places talking among yourselves. Small talk, maybe but avoid long discussions. It causes inconvenience to people.
3. Hold the door when someone is walking behind you
4. Hold the lift if someone is trying to get in, don't stand there like a robot
5. While talking in public, try to be as modest as you can; again not to cause inconvenience to people.

etc etc, I hope you guys get the drift.

So in my 4 yrs career in IT, I have seen many of the "so-called" professionals lacking in even these basic manners. Sometimes, I feel like slapping one of these guys. Even the senior manager level types with all their greying hair seem to be lacking in manners, as if their brain matter has been lost with their hairs.

What truly bugs me is I can understand the shoving while standing in a ticket line, but I certainly don't get why you can't stop a lift for someone. Its not really survival of the fittest there. So are our education system broken to teach people the manners or is it in our nature to be as uncivil as we can be?

 

[booo]

you know its very easy to complain.

 

[mathrisk]

I am also in IT and in my experience, people are very well mannered inside the office campus - like holding the door/lift, following the queue in canteen, let you park your vehicle and move to other one etc. (Well, not all people, but most of them).
But those same people become uncivil once they are outside the campus. Excessive honking, no respect for traffic rules, fighting over a seat on the bus, smoking in the public etc etc.

 

[asingh]

There are none.

 

[Criminal]

I am also in IT and in my experience, people are very well mannered inside the office campus...

they behave that way because they can be recognized. they show their true colors outside when dealing with unknown people and also on the roads, as they can stay unrecognised within the cocoon of their cars, helmets etc.

i am sure @blr_p would have a wiki link for this behavioural syndrome. what is it called?

 

[Spacescreamer]

What truly bugs me is I can understand the shoving while standing in a ticket line, but I certainly don't get why you can't stop a lift for someone. Its not really survival of the fittest there. So are our education system broken to teach people the manners or is it in our nature to be as uncivil as we can be?

Case gets worse when you have guys from abroad visiting the IT companies.
More often than not, the chaos at the cafeteria is embarrassing. The guys from outside would stand patiently aside (not even in the queue, because they know what ll happen if they do), and they would happily allow the restless whackos to go ahead and grab the all important kit for survival. Turn around and you ll notice they are not entirely being chivalrous, but they know Indians dont really know the meaning of civic manners.

Same is the case in metro rail. From the point of entry/exit to the mad scurrying for the seats, as if the floor will turn into lava as soon as the train sets itself in motion, is pretty sorry to witness.

 

[blr_p]

they behave that way because they can be recognized. they show their true colors outside when dealing with unknown people and also on the roads, as they can stay unrecognised within the cocoon of their cars, helmets etc.

i am sure @blr_p would have a wiki link for this behavioural syndrome. what is it called?

No link but you see the pattern. Cooperate when its in your interest.

Same way you'd tip in a place you frequently visit or not. Giving regular business is a tip in its own way.

A dissatisfaction with the society you live in. But are proud of where you work as it somehow 'defines' you.

 

[asingh]

What truly bugs me is I can understand the shoving while standing in a ticket line, but I certainly don't get why you can't stop a lift for someone. Its not really survival of the fittest there. So are our education system broken to teach people the manners or is it in our nature to be as uncivil as we can be?

Yes, the lift hijackers are notorious in office complexes. Some of the old lifts have these options (if you press a combination on buttons) then they do not halt in between but hop to the top. People do this a lot, with a nice smirk. Also it has happened many times to me: You are near a lift, the people see you from in-between the doors closing (slowly), the to-be-passenger rushes, someone from inside presses the "><" button on purpose instead of "<>"; the door shuts even quicker and it goes up. Or if you are inside and someone does this, the rest giggle and laugh at the poor person outside trying to amicably get in. The way lift buttons (specially the close) is abused in India, I have never seen this anywhere. Not even getting to the spitting and throwing of garbage inside.

It is our hard-boiled nature to be uncivil, sorry to say.

 

[ayanavish]

^ that's one common scenario.

 

[JMP]

Lifts, Hallways etc are just an annoyance.
The so called IT 'Professionals' sometimes do not even leave the restrooms in a clean state.

Half of India should be executed for lack of manners (starting with me. I hate myself when I honk at people on the street or rush through a orange traffic signal)

Indians really needs to learn to respect others and the value of social decency.

 

[letmein]

Wow, maybe the companies you're working in are hiring aholes.

 

[logistopath]

About the lifts, you know what is more annoying? I have seen groups of friends in the lift chatting, and then when one of them has to get down at a floor, they continue the chat while holding the lift door open, completely disregarding the fact that someone in some floor is waiting for the lift. Feel like punching them on their faces.

 

[ayanavish]

About the lifts, you know what is more annoying? I have seen groups of friends in the lift chatting, and then when one of them has to get down at a floor, they continue the chat while holding the lift door open, completely disregarding the fact that someone in some floor is waiting for the lift. Feel like punching them on their faces.

^ you can simply say "finish your talk and then come inside"

- have also seen people scribbled their creativity on the lift doors, similar to what we see in trains

 

[chiron]

i guess its a good thing the office i work in doesn't have a lift.

 

[abhi1984]

Case gets worse when you have guys from abroad visiting the IT companies.
More often than not, the chaos at the cafeteria is embarrassing. The guys from outside would stand patiently aside (not even in the queue, because they know what ll happen if they do), and they would happily allow the restless whackos to go ahead and grab the all important kit for survival. Turn around and you ll notice they are not entirely being chivalrous, but they know Indians dont really know the meaning of civic manners.

Same is the case in metro rail. From the point of entry/exit to the mad scurrying for the seats, as if the floor will turn into lava as soon as the train sets itself in motion, is pretty sorry to witness.

Though there are no reasons for the mad scurrying, it might be fine. What I really don't understand are basic manners which don't really give you any advantage over anyone. Just like the cafeteria thing.
I remember the 1yr party for our Indian HQ, the mad rush to get the saunf was so embarrassing with people strewing it all around. Felt like either they were kids or animals.

That said, the thread got a bit stuck focused on the lift hijackers.
How about a new question - what manner is your pet peeve and will like people to stop doing? And what do you think is the reason for a reasonable person to do it?

My current personal pet peeve is: group of people standing in corridors talking. Even if a person struggles to go past them, they don't feel the need to clear out and take their conversation to a more comfortable environment.
I don't feel a reasonable person will do something like this. If I meet someone I met after a long time, I invite him for tea/coffee and talk comfortably than block corridors.

 

[Spacescreamer]

How about a new question - what manner is your pet peeve and will like people to stop doing?
And what do you think is the reason for a reasonable person to do it?

Spitting on the roads.
Driving with high beam on.
Parking the car on the road to avoid walking 10-15 steps.
Not parking the car in the garage/blocking other's garages just for the sake of comfort.

Most annoying thing is, when you ask people about bad road sense (high beam/bad parking habits), for the first case.. they look at pulling the high beam down as if their fundamental right is being taken away.
Dumb authority people too dont understand that if people are not allowed to drive with high beams, the road visbility will go down and the driver will automatically bring the speeds down, thereby lowering the risk/rate of accidents.
Mostly the 'professional' drivers/netas/police people do this blatantly.

Parking issues, the less said, the better. Govt ought to state officially that people without allotted parking space will be taxed and such owners run the risk of hefty fines if they are found harassing proper parking space owners.

Reason: Too much democracy. Illiterate people governing and making policies, who themself break the civil code of conduct. Laid back attitude of old/quota based officials who want to work for attendance and are assured of salaries and perks.

 

[logistopath]

My pet peeve (I remember a column with the same name in the "Caravan" magazine of yesteryears ):

Students or groups of people walking side by side occupying the entire stretch of the road or the sidewalk. They don't give a damn about the people or vehicles coming ahead or behind them. It results in unnecessary confrontations or accidents.

 

[6pack]

My pet peeve is the "if anything is free, let's take advantage of it" thing which is very common.
Free food or drinks? - jump on it and stuff faces till they vomit.
Just grab everything so others don't get a chance. No one will be content with just one. I've seen this every where. From big super rich people to poor people. Its like a stampede.

 

[asingh]

Basically Indians are selfish and self-centered.

 

[asingh]

That said, the thread got a bit stuck focused on the lift hijackers.

It was being discussed, cause it shows the mettle of our society. If a basic humane gesture can not be depicted (read: waiting for others); what more do you expect from society. We all will go to great extents to give donations in temples and make a big show at weddings, but when it comes to caring for someone in terms of space and etiquette, Indians are at the bottoms of the list.