Funny One
The Unreal Times commissioned Ravi Shastri to interview the Indian skipper and get his perspective on one of the most fascinating ODI encounters in recent times.
Excerpts from Shastri’s interview with Dhoni:
Ravi Shastri (RS): Well, MS, another thrilling encounter that went down to the wire. Your thoughts on the game?
Mahendra Singh Dhoni (MSD): Well, of course, it is important to make sure that every match is…er…Shastribhai, what exactly does ‘going down to the wire’ mean? Dravid bhai explained what ‘going down’ means but…what the hell does…
RS (interrupting): But MS, was it necessary to take it to the final delivery? I mean, around the 40[sup]th[/sup] over, you needed less than a run a ball?
MSD: Yaar, as it is, these Sri Lankans play such boring cricket, what with their scrappy fielding and their motley bunch of annoying spinners. As the captain of the most popular cricket team, I consider it my duty to save cricket by ensuring that matches with boring teams turn out to be interesting. Besides, considering how much we suck in Test cricket, doesn’t it makes sense to make that format the most interesting in which we are the champions?
RS: Hmm, okay. But how is Gauti (Gambhir) taking it? Considering you ran him out when he was well on the way to closing the game, then yet again played the shot of the match, and even won the Man of the Match this time around?
MSD (quietly): Gauti hasn’t been talking to me since last evening, since he thinks I stole his thunder. But then it was important to run him out. He was threatening to finish it off by the 48th over. As far as the “Man of the Match†award is concerned, I’ll put in a word to Srinivasan saar to include it in the team’s rotation policy.
RS: MS, at any stage of the chase, did you sense the match slipping out of your hands?
MSD: Hmm…yeah, I had a few anxious moments when four runs were required off the last two balls with Vinay Kumar on strike. I was very apprehensive that he would take the aerial route and finish it there itself, but fortunately he kept his cool and decided otherwise, which gave me just enough time to call him for a non-existent single and run him out (grins).
RS: Disappointed with Ashwin for not contributing more with the bat?
MSD: Yes, of course. He could have played a few more dot balls to set it up nicely for me. Six required off the last ball is a lot cooler than four of it (smiles).
RS: Well, MS, you have definitely proved that you are indeed “Captain Coolâ€. Do the boys also address you by that monicker?
MSD: Some of them, yeah, but Sachin paaji says I will be “Captain Cool†only after I learn to speak like you. I agree…F***k man, despite all my heroics, you still trended above me on Twitter after the match. So I am planning to do a crash course called ‘Discover the Shastri in you’ from IIPM after the end of this series.
(Shastri blinks and blinks hard before regaining his poise)
RS: Have a good one, MS.
MSD: Thanks, Ravi
RS (facing the camera): Ladies and gentleman who will read this transcript, we have had a cracker of an interview. Over 10 questions have been asked! Over 10 answers have been answered! And in the end…(At this point, an UnReal team member snatches the microphone from Shastri, and attempts to shove him away from the camera’s view. Shastri grapples frantically with him and with great effort pops his head back into the cmera’s view to scream “) …CRICKET IS THE REAL WINNER!â€