Living with Parents vs. Living Alone
- Thread starter whatsinaname
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Hmmm...Interesting discussion here
I had stayed with my parents till graduation. Life was very comfortable then. Never realized all the things my mother did for me. It was almost as i took all she did for granted. I used to be treated like a King.
Then reality hit me when i moved out of my hometown for work in Oct 2007.
My God, So many responsibilities. Washing clothes, getting ready for work, waking up from bed, No home cooked meals(meaning no nakhras), difficult situations to deal with and the list goes on.
Initially I got too depressed...used to be talking to mother all the time on phone.
I had some girl trouble, that sent me to the worst of depression. My health became very poor.
Even friends leave you in such situations.
I realized that at the end of day, there would be no one to help you except your GOD and your parents (personal GOD)
I realized what i had when i was back home was priceless and that my mother put a lot of efforts for everything.
No matter it may be hell outside home, but when I come back home, it always used to feel like heaven. It felt like a fortress, where the outside world would never reach me. I know I am acting melodramatic now.
By the end of my 4th year outside my home, I decided i needed to come back.
There was only 1 decent company in my hometown and I got that job.
So in Dec2011, I finally came back home, to the place which will always accept me unconditionally, no matter how I am or who I am. My Home
Despite having all the advantages of staying with parents... I personally feel that one should move out of home for sometime atleast...reminds me of the starting scene from 300, where the boy goes alone to hunt...
I feel staying out...facing hardships makes you a man. Once you can handle things independently...you can always return back home, if you want.
malhotraraul
Galvanizer
Thank God, you didn't mention the lab rat.
Please rename this thread to firangi culture vs Hindustani culture.
Generally we don't do the DNA test to check who our parents are if compared to them or not because of some sperm donor.
No offense please, just my view.
Haha relax man - to each his own.
IINM he moved out of India to UK few years back.
Hehe, a little background.. he was my room-mate in college for 3 years - been my very close friend since 2005 and we chat everyday even now.
But that doesn't change the fact that he has become an angrez. Just saying...
whatsinaname
Innovator
Quite a few interesting viewpoints in the thread and it has been fairly civil (unlike other times I have gotten into this discussion with friends). It is also quite interesting that for many people, the idea of caring for parents and loving them is very intertwined with proximity to them as well.
Not exactly sure what you mean by the lab rat mention.
Don't you think classifying this interesting issue as firangi vs hindustani is a bit reductivist and also prejudiced?
I have also noticed that when people use the 'no offense please' phrase, they have an inkling that what they are saying is offensive. (Though in this circumstance I don't see anything that could possibly be offensive).
Sei - If people living abroad are being discounted, this thread wouldn't have started.
Not exactly sure what you mean by the lab rat mention.
Don't you think classifying this interesting issue as firangi vs hindustani is a bit reductivist and also prejudiced?
I have also noticed that when people use the 'no offense please' phrase, they have an inkling that what they are saying is offensive. (Though in this circumstance I don't see anything that could possibly be offensive).
Sei - If people living abroad are being discounted, this thread wouldn't have started.
sandeepsachin
Galvanizer
Tell us more about the galla time you are having in the UK
Do you feel like kicking their ass when they say
"Arse" instead of ass ? balls instead of "bullocks" ? your taking the "mickey", when you are taking a piss
"Piece of piss" instead of piece of cake
. "Your doin me head in" instead of saying you are annoying me!
"i feel absolutely gutted" instead of i am depressed
s**t i can keep going on and on, just dont feel like typing anymore
Do you feel like kicking their ass when they say
"Arse" instead of ass ? balls instead of "bullocks" ? your taking the "mickey", when you are taking a piss
"Piece of piss" instead of piece of cake
. "Your doin me head in" instead of saying you are annoying me!
"i feel absolutely gutted" instead of i am depressed
s**t i can keep going on and on, just dont feel like typing anymore
Quite a few interesting viewpoints in the thread and it has been fairly civil (unlike other times I have gotten into this discussion with friends). It is also quite interesting that for many people, the idea of caring for parents and loving them is very intertwined with proximity to them as well.
Not exactly sure what you mean by the lab rat mention.
Don't you think classifying this interesting issue as firangi vs hindustani is a bit reductivist and also prejudiced?
I have also noticed that when people use the 'no offense please' phrase, they have an inkling that what they are saying is offensive. (Though in this circumstance I don't see anything that could possibly be offensive).
Sei - If people living abroad are being discounted, this thread wouldn't have started.
IMHO, proximity is one the main factors which distinguishes your loved ones from your friends and acquaintances. You can't expect to love and care for someone and meet them once a month. Sure, millions of people might be doing it abroad but that doesn't gel with me.
Though I am not sure about what he really wanted to write, as always, but "no offense" is always used when we perceive that what we are saying may be misinterpreted by others. But I agree that it is not fair to use it like - "No offense please, but F you!"
As far as my "people living abroad" rant, I was just pulling his leg. People are taking it more seriously than I intended.
quixand
Galvanizer
Living alone? That's sort of a sad term isn't it?
Now this doesn't go for all people who live with their parents.
I've come across people who are absolutely pampered shits who do not know how to use their credit cards or how to write a check. And these are grown ass 25+ year olds I'm talking about.
They'll never step out of the house have never lived in hostels, they have uncompromising behavior. They complain so much and do not get things done.
Hostel life probably teaches you more as far compromises are considered.
Let me reiterate that is not applicable for everybody. There are many who are exceptions. Some of my friends are fiercely independent individuals who have chosen to settle down and live in a joint family. I completely respect that.
I'd seriously recommend living on your own at least for a few years. In a hostel environment or after graduation. That'll sort you out.
Living away from your parents will truly let you know how much they have done for you. Crude example : Do any of the chores for 1 year by yourself and it'll make you respect your parents more.
from time to time you'll have to take big decisions in life without anybody's help. that day you'll thank your parents for the rich (not money) upbringing you had.
Unless your parents are absolutely dependent on your constant presence; health etc.
Again, I'm not advocating defiance, but some times you need to live on your own terms. I say this because a bunch of people (living with their parents) in office keep pestering me to let them move in.
Now this doesn't go for all people who live with their parents.
I've come across people who are absolutely pampered shits who do not know how to use their credit cards or how to write a check. And these are grown ass 25+ year olds I'm talking about.
They'll never step out of the house have never lived in hostels, they have uncompromising behavior. They complain so much and do not get things done.
Hostel life probably teaches you more as far compromises are considered.
Let me reiterate that is not applicable for everybody. There are many who are exceptions. Some of my friends are fiercely independent individuals who have chosen to settle down and live in a joint family. I completely respect that.
I'd seriously recommend living on your own at least for a few years. In a hostel environment or after graduation. That'll sort you out.
Living away from your parents will truly let you know how much they have done for you. Crude example : Do any of the chores for 1 year by yourself and it'll make you respect your parents more.
from time to time you'll have to take big decisions in life without anybody's help. that day you'll thank your parents for the rich (not money) upbringing you had.
Unless your parents are absolutely dependent on your constant presence; health etc.
Again, I'm not advocating defiance, but some times you need to live on your own terms. I say this because a bunch of people (living with their parents) in office keep pestering me to let them move in.
I agree on the part where you say that everyone should live on their own for a few years. But, I have also seen examples where these "pampered shits" have taken no steps to improve themselves. One guy, during my engineering days, used to get around 10 pairs of jeans and around 20-40 t-shirts/shirts and used to last the entire semester. He barely did anything different than what he did at home. Just an example, but that is basically what I am saying. Rather, these morons get more spoiled once outside the house and away from supervision. Moreover, they live like pigs.
As for the second highlighted statement, I am assuming here that "them" implies your parents.
I, for one, feel it is quite selfish to say that you "let your parents move in" with you. They let you stay with them for good 15-20 years didn't they? Was it their responsibility to do so?
If no, then why'd they do it?
If yes, then why shouldn't you do the same?
It is a completely different situation if your parents are not interested in relocating themselves. My friend's mom, who lives in a smaller city, got really angry at him when they got stuck in (an everyday occurring scenario in Pune) rush hour traffic jam.
PS: I firmly believe - to each his own. I am no one to pass judgement. Just conveying my opinions on this. As for me, I would love to kick out my kids once they get jobs.
But I would sure as hell expect them to want me to live with them alekhkhanna
Innovator
I have been living alone since 2004, firstly due to medical school and then after that, due to work. But recently I was at home for 2 months (the longest stretch I've ever been in these 8 years) before flying out due to work again. And these 2 months were enough to teach me that my parents need me more than ever ! It's been hardly 3 weeks since I joined a new project but I'm already leaving it at the beginning of next month as I can't really let my mom dad live alone.
Never been so homesick in all these years. Guess it's just a part of growing up.
Never been so homesick in all these years. Guess it's just a part of growing up.
Honestly, As my Dad passed away since 2004 due to heart pain issue, that My mom and my sister are living with me, due to i suffer biggest mental problem about poor studies, not able to enjoy since from 2003 to 2006 that i have stay the hostel past 4 1/2 year without fun and low social life,
in 2006, i move to mental hospital at Nimhans locate Bangalore for control my anger emotion, cause of i have fought with my mom too much long ago.. (Cause my grandparents are suffer mental problem also , that they are rowdy about property and money power) that i got mad with them if i stay alone with my mom or living with my grandparent's house for together but it was not solve cause my grandmother has suffer biggest mental problem due to anger about food, money and social life, when i use play any pc games at midnight at 2006 cause they are suffer at me and talking action with me
but now day my grandfather passed away due to weakness and my grandmother continue to have mental problem and i got very angry and frustration, that i move alone with my mom only as my sister already got marriage 4 year ago and i got an peaceful life when i growl up at age of 22 that i can control my job and household expenses, and suddenly my grandmother call me for help about favor and urgent work but i refused it and i reject the favor and she tried to call my mom and not talking nice to her and i got angry with her. that i spoke to my grandmother if you tried to contact me about saying this word and i will not be your family anymore and i dont need some nonsense help if i have any finance money issue, and i dont give sh!t cause it has been 8 year that i have suffer too much mental problem with my family troubles. due to rowdy, money power, some family misunderstand issue and No respect another relative feeling that they have hurt me( p.s my stupid mistake of my life cause i have hurt my mom lot of time that she has suffer because of my grandparent fault not my mom so i have learn how to respect people feeling for avoid anger hurt feeling)
honesty i am happy life right now and already stay with my mom as i have enjoy myself and my mom is very happy with me that she love to listen when i talk to another people anger feeling or happy.
please pardon my English grammar mistake
in 2006, i move to mental hospital at Nimhans locate Bangalore for control my anger emotion, cause of i have fought with my mom too much long ago.. (Cause my grandparents are suffer mental problem also , that they are rowdy about property and money power) that i got mad with them if i stay alone with my mom or living with my grandparent's house for together but it was not solve cause my grandmother has suffer biggest mental problem due to anger about food, money and social life, when i use play any pc games at midnight at 2006 cause they are suffer at me and talking action with me
but now day my grandfather passed away due to weakness and my grandmother continue to have mental problem and i got very angry and frustration, that i move alone with my mom only as my sister already got marriage 4 year ago and i got an peaceful life when i growl up at age of 22 that i can control my job and household expenses, and suddenly my grandmother call me for help about favor and urgent work but i refused it and i reject the favor and she tried to call my mom and not talking nice to her and i got angry with her. that i spoke to my grandmother if you tried to contact me about saying this word and i will not be your family anymore and i dont need some nonsense help if i have any finance money issue, and i dont give sh!t cause it has been 8 year that i have suffer too much mental problem with my family troubles. due to rowdy, money power, some family misunderstand issue and No respect another relative feeling that they have hurt me( p.s my stupid mistake of my life cause i have hurt my mom lot of time that she has suffer because of my grandparent fault not my mom so i have learn how to respect people feeling for avoid anger hurt feeling)
honesty i am happy life right now and already stay with my mom as i have enjoy myself and my mom is very happy with me that she love to listen when i talk to another people anger feeling or happy.
please pardon my English grammar mistake
quixand
Galvanizer
I agree on the part where you say that everyone should live on their own for a few years. But, I have also seen examples where these "pampered shits" have taken no steps to improve themselves. One guy, during my engineering days, used to get around 10 pairs of jeans and around 20-40 t-shirts/shirts and used to last the entire semester. He barely did anything different than what he did at home. Just an example, but that is basically what I am saying. Rather, these morons get more spoiled once outside the house and away from supervision. Moreover, they live like pigs.
As for the second highlighted statement, I am assuming here that "them" implies your parents.
I, for one, feel it is quite selfish to say that you "let your parents move in" with you. They let you stay with them for good 15-20 years didn't they? Was it their responsibility to do so?
If no, then why'd they do it?
If yes, then why shouldn't you do the same?
It is a completely different situation if your parents are not interested in relocating themselves. My friend's mom, who lives in a smaller city, got really angry at him when they got stuck in (an everyday occurring scenario in Pune) rush hour traffic jam.
PS: I firmly believe - to each his own. I am no one to pass judgement. Just conveying my opinions on this. As for me, I would love to kick out my kids once they get jobs.
Them referred to office buddies not my parents of course. You did read the entire thing I hope, difficult to miss the point I was making.
I have always lived with my parents till I finished college. Never been away for more then a few days from them. After college I moved out since my job was in another city, moved in with friends, moved out into a single bedroom apt soon after.
Is it difficult? Yes
Do I miss my family? Yes
Do I feel alone sometimes? Yes
But it taught me to stand up, take responsibility for my actions and more importantly how to take care of myself. I love living alone, doing whatever I want, whenever I want. I visit my parents once every month.
I have enjoyed making Ghar ka khana by myself with my mom helping me through skype, I have taken care of my taxes and finances with my dad helping me with it over the phone, I have watched my brother grow into a man and have been part of his grooming every chance I get...... so yes, I live alone but I am never far away from family. But I would never move back with my parents. They dedicated their lives to making me who I am, its time they relaxed without worrying about me.
Is it difficult? Yes
Do I miss my family? Yes
Do I feel alone sometimes? Yes
But it taught me to stand up, take responsibility for my actions and more importantly how to take care of myself. I love living alone, doing whatever I want, whenever I want. I visit my parents once every month.
I have enjoyed making Ghar ka khana by myself with my mom helping me through skype, I have taken care of my taxes and finances with my dad helping me with it over the phone, I have watched my brother grow into a man and have been part of his grooming every chance I get...... so yes, I live alone but I am never far away from family. But I would never move back with my parents. They dedicated their lives to making me who I am, its time they relaxed without worrying about me.
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