Self improvement: Increase your concentration in a meeting

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Renegade

Renegade

Staff member
Mastermind
Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Monotone voices burbling on and on like a creek for hours on end, forcing you to look for the nearest sharp object or length of wire to end it all. Here's a way to change all of that... Meeting Bingo!



1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5"x5" is a good size. Divide the card into columns-five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:

synergy

strategic fit

core competencies

best practice

bottom line

revisit

take that off-line

24/7

out of the loop

benchmark

value-added

proactive

win-win

think outside the box

fast track

result-driven

empower

knowledge base

solution

touch base

mindset

client focus

paradigm

game plan

leverage



​

3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLS.H.I.T!"

Testimonials from satisfied "Meeting Bingo" players:

"I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won."

- Jack W., Boston



"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."

- David D., Florida



"What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win."

- Bill R., New York City



"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box." - Ben G., Denver



"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULL.SHIT!' for the third time in two hours." - Kathleen L., Atlanta

:rofl::rofl:

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TOP TEN TRICKS TO LIVEN UP A MEETING

Stand up and act indignant. Demand that the boss tell you the 'real' reason this meeting has been called.

Spill coffee on the conference table. Produce a little paper boat and sail it down the table.

During a meeting, each time the boss makes an important point, (or at least one he/she seems to consider important), make a little noise like you are building up to an orgasm.

Stay behind as everyone else, including the boss, leaves. Thank them for coming.

Give a broad wink to someone else at the table. In time, wink at everyone. Sometimes shake your head just a little, as if to indicate that the speaker is slightly crazy and everybody knows it.

Arrange to have a poorly-dressed young woman with an infant quietly enter the meeting, stare directly at the (male) speaker for a while, burst into tears, then leave the room.

Bring a hand puppet, preferably an animal. Ask it to clarify difficult points.

When there is a call for questions, lean back in your chair, prop your feet up on the table, smile contentedly, and say, "Well, here's the way I see it, J.B..." (or any other impressive-sounding initials that are not actually your boss's.)

Complain loudly that your neighbour won't stop touching you. Demand that the boss make him/her stop doing it.

Bring a small mountain of computer printouts to the meeting. If possible, include some old-fashioned fanfold paper for dramatic effect. Every time the speaker makes a point, pretend to check it in one of the printouts. Pretend to find substantiating evidence there. Nod vigorously, and say "uh-huh, uh-huh!"
 
awesome :D actually showed this to a project manager sitting next to me, and he said *sigh* wish i could really do this in client meetings :lol:
 
hehe, just sent the Tips by Spacescreamer to the entire team. Forgot that a few "aunties" were there in the team. Waiting for the bashing by manager any moment now.
 
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