XTerminator
Forerunner
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES
Notice in a dry cleaner's window:
ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR
MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF.
Sign on motorway garage:
PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS.
YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.
Spotted in a toilet of a New York office building:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN.
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a National Park:
BEARS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR
On a church door:
THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR.
THIS DOOR IS KEPT LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE DRAFT.
(PLEASE USE SIDE DOOR.)
Outside a photographer's studio:
OUT TO LUNCH:
IF NOT BACK BY FIVE,
OUT FOR DINNER ALSO
Outside a disco:
SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN. EVERYONE WELCOME
Sign warning of quicksand:
QUICKSAND. ANY PERSON PASSING THIS POINT WILL BE DROWNED. BY ORDER OF THE DISTRICT COUNCIL.
Notice sent to residents of a Wiltshire parish:
DUE TO INCREASING PROBLEMS WITH LETTER LOUTS AND VANDALS WE MUST ASK ANYONE WITH RELATIVES BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD TO DO THEIR BEST TO KEEP THEM IN ORDER
In a London department store
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
Sign on two doors in a Kaiser building in Sacramento, California:
Rash Door.
"WET PAINT. This is a warning, not an instruction!"
Source: Email
PS: It is possible some of them are repeats...kindly tell if they are along with the link to the first post of the same.
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES
Notice in a dry cleaner's window:
ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR
MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF.
Sign on motorway garage:
PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS.
YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.
Spotted in a toilet of a New York office building:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN.
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a National Park:
BEARS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR
On a church door:
THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR.
THIS DOOR IS KEPT LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE DRAFT.
(PLEASE USE SIDE DOOR.)
Outside a photographer's studio:
OUT TO LUNCH:
IF NOT BACK BY FIVE,
OUT FOR DINNER ALSO
Outside a disco:
SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN. EVERYONE WELCOME
Sign warning of quicksand:
QUICKSAND. ANY PERSON PASSING THIS POINT WILL BE DROWNED. BY ORDER OF THE DISTRICT COUNCIL.
Notice sent to residents of a Wiltshire parish:
DUE TO INCREASING PROBLEMS WITH LETTER LOUTS AND VANDALS WE MUST ASK ANYONE WITH RELATIVES BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD TO DO THEIR BEST TO KEEP THEM IN ORDER
In a London department store
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
Sign on two doors in a Kaiser building in Sacramento, California:
Rash Door.
"WET PAINT. This is a warning, not an instruction!"
Source: Email
PS: It is possible some of them are repeats...kindly tell if they are along with the link to the first post of the same.
(still i can't see the smiley ... 
)
hyeah: