Complaint against abusive husband

At the risk of sounding the bad guy here.

Op you also seem to misunderstand the fears here. From what I can gather he is the only son. So his parents are old and want someone to look after them. Thats why they are taking the abuse.They understand what would happen if there was a factual complain. He either goes to jail or faces some heavy repercussions. What happens next? He could simply disown them or leave them and there is no law which can stop him. Thats why they are not brave enough to register a factual complain.
As for the girl, I cant speak of her intentions but she must be having her own reasons for not wanting to actually go to the police or women commission.

So lets say you do complain "anonymously", what do you think is going to happen? For one police or women commission might not be moved to take action at all because law requires proof not heresy.

But lets say they do come around to the house to check up things. Then what is going to happen? They need actionable proof and witness statements from girl/parents. Given their inaction, I don't think so. They are rather banking on "fear" of police.

Will that guy be afraid of the complain? You seem to think so. Lets say that does happen and he does gets afraid. Have you thought what happens when he realises that it was an empty threat? Cause thats what it is going to be. No action after "complaint" is further going to embolden him. What happens in that scenario? More and worse abuse.

You seem to underestimate what people do when backed into a corner and then let go. They lash out. Specially the "rat, hollow kind".

It has been repeated many times in the thread, let the family come up with guts to complain. If they live in fear of the guy now that is not going to change afterwards.
 
booo said:
As I said earlier, stay away from them.

And... do you really think they are going to take an anonymous complaint seriously? And again, even if you personally go and complain, do you think they will take you seriously you being the third party?
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Lord Nemesis said:
There are no anonymous complaints. Assuming that your complaint is even taken seriously, what if the girl testifies before police that who ever complained has done so with malicious intent of breaking up her marriage or framing her husband?
What if she and her husband go to the extent of lodging a complaint against you. Even if you have called the police anonymously, they might be pissed enough or hear their story and chose to trace you down and take action against you. Are you willing to face the consequences which may go to the extent of you ending up in jail and losing your job?

As I said before, a girl who silently tolerates abuse is dangerous and anybody who tries to help such people are begging to be burned badly.
I suggest you stay away and let the family sort it out.
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+1 to that. I know you are a good neighbour. But what you hear or see is one side story. That may be true, but can be false too even if the chance is 0.01%, but it does exists.

As @boo and @Lord Nemesis pointed out, I'd too say stay out of this. The consequences can be dangerous. They may even frame you, of having extra marital affair with the girl. Then the consequences for the girl will also be bad.
 
Iim not going to pretend i know what to do here but one thing i can confirm is that this type of behavior ONLY get's worse over time. it never fixes itself.
Have you tried talking to your friend? perhaps it's not the marriage but something else that's bothering him. Having a calm and private talk about the abuse can help.
After all at the end of the day whether one can justify the abusive behaviour or not doesn't matter. what matters is whether you want to be 'that kind of person' or not.
 
Ok

Yes I had a direct crude talk with him 3-4 months ago, I told him it's an unacceptable behavior and he wasn't in mood to accept his mistakes easily but when I gave him what I thought he had to admit whatever the reason maybe his rudeness cannot be justified and he had promised me not to repeat this behavior again.

But all this was obviously to no use and he was back to his abusive nature within days again........ I couldn't repeat myself and didn't confront him again.

He scolded the girl Real hard after few days of honeymoon (if it was sweet at all, which I heard wasn't sweet) just because he was not able to find his ****ing hair oil

The girl is working as well and makes more money than him, is better person, obviously because of being a working girl, a new bride and novice in homely tasks she may be a little off in home tasks, but that doesn't justify the abuse within 15 days of marriage........ Does it?

He has screamed at her many times, that he deserved much better girl than him................ That too when there was a long courtship period of 6 months between marriage...............

He is just a ****ing Asshole, rat heart, pathetic inferior complex, egoistic male.........

I am confused what to do................ It's not dangerous for me as per say, but time is not now to reveal anything, if I plan to do something
 
AMG said:
Plot twist:

OP likes the wife.
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I thought this when I wrote his first post.

toocool6600 said:
BULLSHIT

I am married, have kids, am not extra marital kind of person

I adore the girl as a human, no doubt

And I hate abusive people
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But this looks like, he's really concerned.

Well, after reading this thread and all of your replies to everyone's negetive view, I think you'll go by you heart anyway.

So, better go ahead and complain. Though I'd suggest speak to the girl once. It may not be possible for you, but you can ask your wife to have a conversation and try to know her side of story too. Specially why she's not taking any step.
 
krishnandu said:
But this looks like, he's really concerned.

Well, after reading this thread and all of your replies to everyone's negetive view, I think you'll go by you heart anyway.

So, better go ahead and complain. Though I'd suggest speak to the girl once. It may not be possible for you, but you can ask your wife to have a conversation and try to know her side of story too. Specially why she's not taking any step.
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If I am in OP's position and want to do something, I would put everyone in a room and start a dialogue. i.e., the girl, him and his parents and moderate a meeting. give him a warning about dire consequences with a straight face and tell him to mend his ways. Keep a tab on girl and his parents on the status for few months. Shaming a person in front of strangers could make things worse with some people. so also think about that.
 
booo said:
If I am in OP's position and want to do something, I would put everyone in a room and start a dialogue. i.e., the girl, him and his parents and moderate a meeting. give him a warning about dire consequences with a straight face and tell him to mend his ways. Keep a tab on girl and his parents on the status for few months. Shaming a person in front of strangers could make things worse with some people. so also think about that.
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And then walkout, inciting a so-called compromise. Go away happily. Thinking you have achieved shitloads.

And then the Husband will go all Khap Panchayat meets John Wick that his honour has been betrayed by his family, and he will kill all and then himself.

Let a Psychotherapist take care of the problem of this oppressed and frankly insane family.
 
AMG said:
And then walkout, inciting a so-called compromise. Go away happily. Thinking you have achieved shitloads.

And then the Husband will go all Khap Panchayat meets John Wick that his honour has been betrayed by his family, and he will kill all and then himself.

Let a Psychotherapist take care of the problem of this oppressed and frankly insane family.
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I can understand that the boy is insane.

But why do you think parents are insane? And are you saying girl is insane too?
 
toocool6600 said:
I can understand that the boy is insane.

But why do you think parents are insane? And are you saying girl is insane too?
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You are not getting the point despite repeated attempts by various people. You obviously have a very poor understanding of human psychology and behaviour.

It is not the guy that you need to be afraid off. The guy may be a jackass, but he is not necessarily that dangerous

It is the rest of the people in that household who are ready to put up with that guys abuse silently all this time that are dangerous and that you need to be afraid of. Yes, they are "insane" to put up with his shit without doing anything themselves and they definitely won't want any meddling from an outsider.

If they are allowing that behaviour from him and putting up with it without doing a damn thing and it only means that they value that guy as he is over their own welfare. If you or anybody else tries to mess with him even if it is for their sake, they would pick him over you every time and they would screw your life with whatever means they have to save that guy without even thinking for even a moment about themselves and least of all you.

God knows how many people had their own lives burnt to a rubble trying to "help out" such people.

You would go and complain to the police or call them as an anonymous neighbour (police can trace a number if reqd.) and the girl and this guys parents would 100% not collaborate your story.. so what next. How long do you think the police would take to come to the conclusion that you have a thing for the girl or a bone to pick with the guy and hence trying to wreak their marriage with bogus complaints?

Even imagine the scenario where you succeed in remaining anonymous? The parents and the girl would come to the conclusion that someone among themselves must have made a complaint or talked to a neighbour and start suspecting each other.

Trying to help somebody who don't make an effort to help themselves is a big blunder.
 
If you are really determined to get involved and want to punish the husband or put the fear of law in his mind, then in that case you can file a complaint with the women commission in your area. But if girl does not speak out then this too will not yield any result and it may backfire on you.
If you are able to convince the girl then take her to the nearest police station and file a complaint against 498a. The action will be swift. But remember once 498a is filed quashing it will be a difficult process (not even the girl can withdraw it without filing a quashing petition in high court) and then for all practical purpose the marriage is over. But remember even if the initial days are traumatic for the boy, the girl needs to prove to the court the correctness of her accusation. So at the end of 5 or 8 years when the verdict comes, most likely the boy will win the case (around 3% of total 498a cases end up with accused being convicted).
But in any of these methods the girl has to volunteer and involve herself, you alone can't do anything legally.
In Indian legal system there is nothing like 'anonymous' party.
 
Very Rude Post.

@OP.

You are poking your noses where it doesn't belong. Stay the hell away from these messed up people. The guy, the wife and the parents all are hiding things from you. They all have their own POV and priorities.
You are just an idiot to think that you can do something here. You have your own family, just be with them. You are not required here. They can all go kill themselves for all I care. Stay out of it.

As many people say above, the parents and the wife is trying to use you somehow. If they are having some trouble, dial the police on phone and give it to them. If they are not doing that, clearly means they dont want to.
Who are you to so then?
 
In today's days and age, being polite, opening doors, giving up seats, leaving the way, using turn signals gets one: Nothing. People assume they are entitled to good treatment while they can be crass, boorish, rude, and crude. Society is extremely selfish and singularly geocentric. So: stay out of this fiasco, cause all you will earn is heaps of vile, loss of mental peace, and maybe some physical battery/assault yourself. Sons are the Gods of families and masters of their spouses. That is our ill begotten society. For all you know: post your involvement you are on the owl-hoot and depressed for some decades.

Not worth it, with India's lousy police and judiciary setup and full retard societal nuances.
 
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