Did I do the right thing?

Status
Not open for further replies.
AMG

AMG

Herald
I was in the hostel mess waiting for food
This really drunk and smelling like hell final year UG guy comes and stands behind me.
I give him a dirty glare

Then i have my food in the mess.
And then when i was on my post dinner walk
He comes to me with 2 other guys and threatens me and asks why did you look at me like that?

I had 2 options
either to confront him or to pacify him

i choose the later because

a) I was outnumbered
b) moreover because he is there since 5 years (Though I being a PG, I am technically senior to him, but I'm new to the college) and my course is for total of 8 months
c) he was drunk

And his 2 frnds, on listening my rather polite tone switched sides and they helped in diffusing the situation

they said abhi tune pee rakhi hai
bahut talli hai and stuff

and later after taking him away said tu aish kar,
tujhe koi kuch nahi bolega
apna hi college hai.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Now what I'm wondering is whether I did the right thing, or am I a massive spineless wimp with no guts.
 
  • Like
Reactions: manoja2k
You did the right thing.

Its not about being outnumbered or anything. Having got into a fight outnumbered only builds one "street-cred". It takes guts to do that.

It takes far more guts to just keep quiet. We are not animals to fight. We don't live in a movie where background score plays when we fight or a girl will fall for you after the fight.

After couple of years looking back you will only feel happy. I been in both situations. I feel more happy about situations where I kept quiet. Dunno why, its never worth it.
No matter for how hot she is or how mean the look was to someone. Its just stupid. Fist fights in schools and colleges is all about outnumbering and humiliating the weak.
Powerful they feel. And trust me, they are guys with un resolved issues. Personal issues. We in India thinks its manly or gutsy. It is not. Maybe abusive parents or fighting parents.
They feel threatened by small things. I feel sorry for them rather than being afraid. Thats the reason why I feel sad about the punches I given. It makes me wonder what the hell
was wrong with me.

That being said. Taking one punch teaches you a lot about yourself :). Many wont support this thought. But its true. Its not about the bruises/cuts/broken bones.
I cannot say in words what that effect is.
 
  • Like
Reactions: rakesh_ic, RD274, rahuljawale and 3 others
AMG said:
I was in the hostel mess waiting for food
This really drunk and smelling like hell final year UG guy comes and stands behind me.
I give him a dirty glare

Then i have my food in the mess.
And then when i was on my post dinner walk
He comes to me with 2 other guys and threatens me and asks why did you look at me like that?

I had 2 options
either to confront him or to pacify him

i choose the later because

a) I was outnumbered
b) moreover because he is there since 5 years (Though I being a PG, I am technically senior to him, but I'm new to the college) and my course is for total of 8 months
c) he was drunk

And his 2 frnds, on listening my rather polite tone switched sides and they helped in diffusing the situation

they said abhi tune pee rakhi hai
bahut talli hai and stuff

and later after taking him away said tu aish kar,
tujhe koi kuch nahi bolega
apna hi college hai.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Now what I'm wondering is whether I did the right thing, or am I a massive spineless wimp with no guts.
Click to expand...
When dogs come barking to pick a bone, you don't bark back. Nothing wrong here.

Most people know unreasonable behavior when they see it. But since they are friends, family or whatever, they go along with it or support it. You show some brains and take a higher route and they will generally try to help you. Which is what happened in this case.
 
  • Like
Reactions: rakesh_ic, rahuljawale and AMG
AMG said:
Now what I'm wondering is whether I did the right thing, or am I a massive spineless wimp with no guts.
Click to expand...


Well, in the longer run you did just fine.

Now with that said, it is natural to get the idea of exchanging few punches if confronted. More so when you were not in the wrong.
The guy coming up with his sidekicks more or less proves who really was spineless.
You being in a college and not on the streets makes it more sensible to avoid fights till it is possible. The guy himself comes across as not worthy of something serious either. Had he done something really nasty which had seriously endangered your pride or reputation, then sure knock some sense into him. (Or make a sincere attempt to do so)

A physical duel should be for something really important and meaningful. Till then, hone your skills at diffusing the situation while keeping both the parties happy. The experience will help you in the longer run.
 
I am very hot headed myself and especially when driving. However, now I have learned to try and tolerate as much, but still get into altercations depending on my mood. Have had a proper fight with a bus conductor and driver of Haryana Roadways and I bashed their faces pretty badly with my helmet. The bad thing that happens is that people never take your side. I have had cases when the mob turns on me even when I am right just because they are getting late. The police never arrives in time so had to run away many a times. Always put your life first and if it looks like the situation is getting out of hand, just run for the ropes like mad. There is no shame whatsoever in that. I wish I could turn a blind eye and just be blissfully ignorant but some things just rile me up so bad, that I give in. Lately I just call a PCR and get the offending vehicle challaned in front of me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: AMG
You will feel better about making this choice after a few days. Trust me, it's not worth it.

A few months back, I and my friend were going on a motorcycle through a crowded street; I was sitting pillion. There was some religious procession going on there. As it occassionally happens in traffic, some scooter from behind bumped into us. Strangely, the same vehicle bumped into us again, and then once more. We protested. The guy driving was piss drunk and was just searching for an opportunity to get into fight. Suddenly, we were surrounded with 6 drunk guys with no where to go; we realized later that they all were part of the religious procession. They started taunting us and hitting us lightly. They liked hitting the helmet my friend was wearing though. Bastards didn't realize that he was wearing glasses. The pressure on the helmet was transferred to the glasses and it crushed one of its lens. Unfortunately, a broken piece of glass was lodged in his eye. The goons fled as soon as they saw blood. It all happened so fast that we didn't note down their registration plate.

Now that I reflect back on it, I feel sorry for those goons. I felt powerless and desperate for some kind of revenge soon after, but those feelings have subsided. It was not worth it to have gotten into a fight with them at that time.
 
  • Like
Reactions: AMG
Thanks.

I already do feel slightly better about my decision.
And now I realize why my dad doesnt get into fights.
 
its always better to avoid it.. u def did the right thing.. all depends on the situation .. lol avoid giving dirty glares to begin with hahahaha its a college/work situation .. there will be all sorts of people. even the ones u don't like. but that's the whole point of it.. u learn patience and tolerate/work with people u don't like.. however if someone is messing with a girl/elder - go in and beat those mofos
 
  • Like
Reactions: AMG
lol thats what i meant - but most guys know how to handle the situation so the might not need help, but always help women / elderly. but yeah if a guy is getting beaten up or something doesnt take much to go n stop the fight.. alot of people just stand on the side and do nothing.. we all need to change that attitude - im glad im not one of them[DOUBLEPOST=1411206067][/DOUBLEPOST]criminal is probably one of those guys who didn't get enough love when he was a kid - good going bud, im sure u beat everyone in ur college
 
Last edited:
Criminal said:
OP, yes you are a wimp.
Click to expand...
bc7.png
 
booo said:
avoiding a confrontation is always better. even when you are not out numbered.
Click to expand...

And this is also why our country in going to the dogs and most level headed individuals just want to leave. Sometimes you have to take a stand for what's right. Just have to make sure that you don't lose your life or a limb and I can understand why people prefer to ignore the issue than confront it.

I am going OT over here, but can someone suggest me good quality video cameras, not very expensive, which can be mounted in such a way that they can cover a 360° or at least front and back view from a car.
 
rdst_1 said:
And this is also why our country in going to the dogs and most level headed individuals just want to leave. Sometimes you have to take a stand for what's right. Just have to make sure that you don't lose your life or a limb and I can understand why people prefer to ignore the issue than confront it.
Click to expand...


Are you talking in my context ot in general context?
 
I think you did right. In this particular situation.

& don't worry about these thoughts that are haunting you. Now that it's done & dusted, make peace with yourself. In all such situations, you will be thinking about your actions for much much longer even after the event. That's normal.
Even if you had confronted them & got into a fight, you'd still be thinking about whether you did the right thing.

But yes, every situation is different. Everyones circumstances are different. So you are going to have to decide accordingly. Which is why giving much credence to opinions online may not be the best thing. (Of course, it can be a good support system). Road rage in Haryana (as someone mentioned above) might be different from road rage in Mumbai. & both will be tackled differently by locals.
You are staying in a hostel. So it's natural that you'll be guarded. That's smart, not being a wimp.

Now for all you know, I may be a wimp & this is all just bad advice. I haven't really ever been in a fight. Sure, there have been altercations & standoffs. But never actual fisticuffs.

The closest I have come to being hit is where a guy held me by the collar. I, in turn held him back. & I was not looking at his face, rather his shoulder. Should he attempt a punch, I was prepared to block it. I was seated & he was standing above me. So I was in a disadvantageous position. Someone intervened, & the situation was diffused.
But the point of describing it all was that if you are able to assess the situation at hand without being overcome by emotion, I'd say you'll be able to handle all such situations well.

Another incident I think about even today did involve a girl. I'll state this here because someone did say you go all in if it involves the fairer sex. Maybe, maybe not.
I was walking with a friend (a girl) when a group of guys (maybe 8-10) passed by us. While passing, one of them passed a lewd comment. They didn't stop, simply walked on by. My immediate instinct was to confront them & I looked back. But I saw them just walking away.
I decided against confronting them. Not because I would definitely have been bashed up. ('Honour above all else' is what I was thinking). But wouldn't I be putting the girl in actual, real danger by doing so?
So was I right? That's debatable. Was I smart? Probably.

So don't worry. When push comes to shove, you will fight back I'm sure. Until then, stay smart, stay sharp.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: shadow747, eternoMind and rahuljawale
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom