How to deal with these idiots!!??

y2s said:
This sounds like a classic case of bad intercultural communication.
  1. Girl was wrong to use expletives in public. Would be good to know the context of this more from the witnesses. Maybe the guy was really annoying her.
  2. Guy was wrong to propose as the relationship sounds very casual. (Maybe justified in an Indian context, but as someone who is a doctor in a foreign country, he should have known better)
  3. Guy was 1000% wrong to post objectionable pictures on the WhatsApp group. No matter what the circumstances were. This is absolutely unacceptable and akin to revengeporn.
As others may have pointed out, The only tangible evidence in this case are the WhatsApp messages. The girl will have an airtight case against this guy if she were to make a big deal out of this. If you try to push this under the rug, it may come back to bite you hard. Therefore I recommend you address the issue in writing.

I understand you need both of them for your work. In this case you need to just document & issue warnings to both parties. Give it to them straight and give them the opportunity to approach the police or file a formal complaint with you (UN) if that's what either one of them wants. Chances are they will not want that. In this case make them sign another document that basically indemnifies both.

If they do decide to go the police route, then I think you should let it play out.

While not ideal, it should absolve you of any responsibility in the matter going forward.

Based on the info you have provided, I definitely believe the guy is more at fault here. But we may be missing pertinent information.

Additionally as you mentioned, you are just the trainer and have no interest/responsibility in the personal lives of your trainees. The guy has brought his personal life into professional domain by posting objectionable content on a company WhatsApp group. The guy is battling with his ego and trying to soil the woman's reputation all because he could not face rejection. If it was me, this guy would definitely be out. Today he's doing it to this girl, tomorrow he will do it to you.
Click to expand...
+1

What would have been situation if guy was British and girl was Indian? It is possible that guy might have circulated photos/videos on Internet as well.
Strict action should be taken regardless of nationality/race in this case.
 
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First and foremost I've made them all delete those photos. If any one of those surfaces again, all 6 of them are out. These phones are property of the organisation, I've confiscated all the phones and submitted to an old mate in IT, he will try to find out if they were forwarded or not.
I trust my older colleagues completely, the original trainers ( back home) are responsible and completely trustworthy.
And those damned photos made me wanna puke..I'm no Saint..but those were nauseating..
For me, personally,both sexual harassment and racial discrimination ( specially how was it used) are equally deplorable and should be punished severely.
Some of you are thinking I'm taking the Indian's side for obvious reasons. But please try to understand, I'm not a complete idiot and do get one thing clearly...this kind of People ( mentality) actually harassed my wife back in India..in their screwed up mind white skin equates sex ( where the hell did it come from!!??
Anyway I'm not tolerating any of their bullshit anymore. It's not even 4:30 in the morning here, I'm on my way to the HQ, 5 minutes walk from the hotel, they will report at 5:15 today ( gave 15 minutes to nurse their tender hearts and hangovers..5 from tomorrow, no weekend for them or for me..Len deserves some rest, I'm of course partial to her and she has done her part ( the Brit is really obnoxious...Len told her to be a little more careful with her words, wasted hours comforting her..all in vein...Len basically told her that not to get fooled by the senior's apparent casualness during meetings, presentation etc. No one will tolerate racist comments..and she obviously doesn't care about colour...to which she replied " Banerjee isn't Indian, he's either Italian or Greek, look at him!! If he wasn't taken, I would have been with him right now!!" Her exact words!! Imagine the audacity, the character...
What a batch we got this year!!
I'm seriously gonna break their bones with work. Starting with a 3 mile walk/ jog in this blistering cold and left them alone to defend for themselves in the worst detox centre..
Sorry for the smelling mistakes/ grammatical errors...writing while walking...these people have started hating me...they thought the training was some sort of summer camp ( in winter) and we are partially responsible for this.
With age and all, I'm getting soft. Please don't think I'm a vindictive person..we need these people for work...I'm not an instructor, just a senior foot soldier.
Always thought the instructors are lazy ass people and they chose to remain in the HQ to avoid the challenges of real work. But this is difficult man!!
In 5 months these people will be posted @ difficult places and we will have to coordinate with them in real work from Africa..it's going to be another major headache..
Still have not reported the incident to the DG's office, he expects me to deal with this kind of stupid issues...hate this position of power. I'm just an epidemiologist who loves to collect real data, do complex calculation and usual public health related clinical works..not this!!
kekerode said:
+1

What would have been situation if guy was British and girl was Indian? It is possible that guy might have circulated photos/videos on Internet as well.
Strict action should be taken regardless of nationality/race in this case.
Click to expand...
Please tell me what strict actions can be taken without seriously damaging their professional careers...they surely deserve some punishment ( both parties) beside a very demanding work schedule.
We don't have any rulebooks for the professionals ( they are expected to behave like mature adults and before this, nothing has happened)
Plenty of people here married their colleagues or living together without any drama. Even in the trainee quarters, people can live together, nobody cares about these petty things.
 
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red dragon said:
First and foremost I've made them all delete those photos. If any one of those surfaces again, all 6 of them are out. These phones are property of the organisation, I've confiscated all the phones and submitted to an old mate in IT, he will try to find out if they were forwarded or not.
I trust my older colleagues completely, the original trainers ( back home) are responsible and completely trustworthy.
And those damned photos made me wanna puke..I'm no Saint..but those were nauseating..
For me, personally,both sexual harassment and racial discrimination ( specially how was it used) are equally deplorable and should be punished severely.
Some of you are thinking I'm taking the Indian's side for obvious reasons. But please try to understand, I'm not a complete idiot and do get one thing clearly...this kind of People ( mentality) actually harassed my wife back in India..in their screwed up mind white skin equates sex ( where the hell did it come from!!??
Anyway I'm not tolerating any of their bullshit anymore. It's not even 4:30 in the morning here, I'm on my way to the HQ, 5 minutes walk from the hotel, they will report at 5:15 today ( gave 15 minutes to nurse their tender hearts and hangovers..5 from tomorrow, no weekend for them or for me..Len deserves some rest, I'm of course partial to her and she has done her part ( the Brit is really obnoxious...Len told her to be a little more careful with her words, wasted hours comforting her..all in vein...Len basically told her that not to get fooled by the senior's apparent casualness during meetings, presentation etc. No one will tolerate racist comments..and she obviously doesn't care about colour...to which she replied " Banerjee isn't Indian, he's either Italian or Greek, look at him!! If he wasn't taken, I would have been with him right now!!" Her exact words!! Imagine the audacity, the character...
What a batch we got this year!!
I'm seriously gonna break their bones with work. Starting with a 3 mile walk/ jog in this blistering cold and left them alone to defend for themselves in the worst detox centre..
Sorry for the smelling mistakes/ grammatical errors...writing while walking...these people have started hating me...they thought the training was some sort of summer camp ( in winter) and we are partially responsible for this.
With age and all, I'm getting soft. Please don't think I'm a vindictive person..we need these people for work...I'm not an instructor, just a senior foot soldier.
Always thought the instructors are lazy ass people and they chose to remain in the HQ to avoid the challenges of real work. But this is difficult man!!
In 5 months these people will be posted @ difficult places and we will have to coordinate with them in real work from Africa..it's going to be another major headache..
Still have not reported the incident to the DG's office, he expects me to deal with this kind of stupid issues...hate this position of power. I'm just an epidemiologist who loves to collect real data, do complex calculation and usual public health related clinical works..not this!!

Please tell me what strict actions can be taken without seriously damaging their professional careers...they surely deserve some punishment ( both parties) beside a very demanding work schedule.
We don't have any rulebooks for the professionals ( they are expected to behave like mature adults and before this, nothing has happened)
Plenty of people here married their colleagues or living together without any drama. Even in the trainee quarters, people can live together, nobody cares about these petty things.
Click to expand...
Putting their a$$ to more work is more than enough. Like this also you will inform the DG's office about the same so, if any, they will handle it from above. Now just Chill !
 
Find HR of a different department, or any HR in WHO and consult the POSH group on how to go about it.
If you take no action, if you bury this, if you don't have proof that they mutually agreed to settle the matter, this may come back to bite you in the future. HARD.

Asking them to delete the photos was a big mistake on your part. You are now prosecutable for obstruction of justice / tampering with evidence. I understand you have their best interest in mind, but follow the law!. As mentioned in a previous post, give them both an option to take this to the police. Record every meeting you have with them on video, get their consent before doing so.

In most cases men are assumed to be guilty until proven innocent in today's world, but in this case what he did was 100% wrong, posting obscene pictures is a crime. Sexual harassment is not a matter in which a manager or "boss" decides things. Organizations have policies, you need to adhere to them, else you and your wife may end up in prison.

I understand you need them to continue your good work, but they behaved unprofessionally, especially for doctors. Let them go, a dip in their career will teach them a lesson, a slap on the wrist just won't do. You can choose not make a note on permanent record of the guy if the victim does not want to prosecute, otherwise its beyond your hands.

Don't take decisions you think are right. This is a legal matter.
 
I genuinely appreciate all your comments and suggestions.
I told them to delete the photos shared in the whatsapp group, and have no idea or interest of who ( among the 2) had taken those.
I'm neither a detective or police.
Those nasty pictures literally made me wanna puke. It's beyond disgusting.
Possibly I made a mistake ( I don't loose it easily, but this stuff is unimaginable at workplace)
I don't understand why this kind of people even apply to work for this organisation...the pay is not that good at their level. It's even lower than NHS pay scale.
I made them work very hard yesterday, on papers they completed everything. But I've seen them interviewing homeless people ( planted a few I know for years) none of them have any compassion, they just work like robots...filling a questionnaire,do a basic clinical examination, give few free medicines for common cold etc.
I just gave up on them and didn't even take them to the methadone/ suboxone clinic. Len and me took care of it.
I will email the incident today to Ted directly and stop the training program till the instructors arrive.
We two can take care of the methadone clinic without any help from these idiots till the holidays end.
I want to distance myself from these people..let the administrators do whatever they want to do. I'm not going to protect such heartless people.
Even Len ( who never judges people easily) has given up.
These Indian guys are complete morons, the Brit girl is obnoxious and shameless, others have no backbones.
None of them will survive a single tough assignment..yes I'm judging them too early, but I'm certain. The job they applied for doesn't require a lot of knowledge/ theory, but a lot of heart..none of them has it in them.
 
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