Some More PJ's

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XTerminator

Forerunner
1. Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night... One was assaulted.
2. A termite walks into a bar room and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
3. "Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud."
"Yes sir, it's fresh ground."
4. What's brown and sticky? A stick.
5. Why are proctologists so gloomy?
They always have the end in sight.
6. What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
Roamin' Catholic.
7. What did the apple say to the orange?
Nothing stupid, apples don't talk.
8. What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him out for a drag.
9. Why can't a chicken coop have more than 2 doors?
Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan.
10. Famous last words of a mafia hitman: "Who put the violin in the violin case?"
11. How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?
12. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
13. What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung.
14. What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A private tutor.
15. What do you call spending the afternoon with a cranky rabbit?
A bad hare day.
16. Have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower?
That's because he hides well.
17. What was the centerpiece of the annual
Anorexia and Bulimnia sufferers convention?
A cake jumping out of a girl.
18. Where do kings keep their armies?
In their sleevies.
19. Why don't anteaters get sick?
Because they're full of anty-bodies.
Source: Email

Kindly Note: Any harm caused by reading the above or reproducing it anywhere is not the responsibility of mine nor of TechEnclave. People reading this are fully responsible for the actions taken by them or against them after reading this.
 
Some more stuff...

Q. Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
A. He's all right now.

Q. Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?
A. He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.

Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.

Q. Where do you find a no legged dog?
A. Right where you left him.

Q. What does Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
A. They both circle Uranus looking for Black Holes.

Q. How do you double the value of a Geo Metro?
A. Fill it with gas.

Source: Email
 
Continuing this series with the update from my email:P

Height of optimism:
Soldier: Sir, we are surrounded!
Major: Excellent! We can attack in any direction now!
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Height of Bravery:
You are suffering from loose motions and you still take the risk to fart!!

:rofl:

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Q:what comes first....the chicken or egg??
A:he he....jiska order pehle doge wohi aayega!!

:bleh:
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Q:what do they call toilets in Bihar??
A: La Loo !!
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Some Techy Ones:

Ramu : Hey.. my submarine is not sinking into the water!! what could be wrong?
Somu : may be u have used float instead of double in the software.
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PS : Hey Bull, Can you do me a favor? Can you pass on these 500 rupees to Suthi..?
Bull : Sure.. why not? But tell me one thing. Tell me whether its pass by
value or pass by reference.
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Ramu : why people are beating that SW engg black and blue?
Somu : it seems, he asked one of them that whether "vante mataram" is
new kind of RAM in the market!
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Ramu : Hey.. I think that SW Engg is very very naive..
Somu : How do u say that?
Ramu : He believes that there is an Arabian Sea++ next to Arabin Sea.
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Ramu : Hey.... whats time now?
Somu : System time or local time...??
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Ramu : Hey.. I have a problem. My system is not booting up!
Somu : may be, its internal buses are on strike.. check out!
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Vani : We have shifted our home to Malleswaram now..
Soni : right shift or left shift??
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Ramu : Somu, I am going to file a case against my landlord yaar. He's
harassing me too much.
Somu : What case? Upper Case or Lower Case or...
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Source: Email

Kindly Note: Any harm caused by reading the above or reproducing it anywhere is not the responsibility of mine nor of TechEnclave. People reading this are fully responsible for the actions taken by them or against them after reading this. Any resemblance in real life is purely coincidential.
 
Oh groan groan groan.

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. DejaMoo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor> replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)...... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
 
killeraim said:
A dyslexic man walks into a bra :D

Typo!!
Click to expand...
Err....thats the joke i think.

EDIT:

UPDATE:D

What do you call a computer superhero?
A Screen Saver.

Why did the computer cross the road?
To get a byte to eat.

Who chases computer criminals?
A hacker-tracker.

What do you get if you cross a computer with an elephant?
Lots of Memory.

What do you get when you cross a dog and a computer?
A machine that has a bark worse than its byte.

Why was the computer so angry?
Because it had a chip on its shoulder.

Why did the computer get glasses?
To improve its websight.

Why did the computer sneeze?
It had a virus.

Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-o

Where do cool mice live?
In mousepads.

Source: Email

Kindly Note: Any harm caused by reading the above or reproducing it anywhere is not the responsibility of mine nor of TechEnclave. People reading this are fully responsible for the actions taken by them or against them after reading this.
 
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