The Poor Jokes Thread

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DanDroiD

Skilled
I hope that nobody is offended by this joke and that it is not too mature for the minor's.... but it was too funny to pass up posting ;)

Believe it or not..... my mother emailed this joke to me :bleh:

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife, 'Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain....do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you !'

His wife responds, 'He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too.'
 
Re: joke time !!

Remodelled joke .. heard the original one long time back.
My All time Fav: The Muffin Joke

So there's two muffins in an oven.

One turns to the other and says "Damn, its hot in here!"

The other replies "Holy shit, a talking muffin!"

[No matter how bad it is.. gen made ppl laugh the first time they read it :) ]
 
Re: joke time !!

Spacescreamer said:
Remodelled joke .. heard the original one long time back.
My All time Fav: The Muffin Joke

So there's two muffins in an oven.

One turns to the other and says "Damn, its hot in here!"

The other replies "Holy shit, a talking muffin!"

[No matter how bad it is.. gen made ppl laugh the first time they read it :) ]
Click to expand...

Now tat's :rofl:
 
Re: joke time !!

awesome pixy...again coming from you....I shoulda expected this joke...lolz...dunno if u remem me...but seriously ...absolutely hilarious!!!!!!!
 
Euthanasia !!

Last night my mom and I were sitting in the living room chatting about things and......life... and... Then, we talked about living and dying.

I said to her: ' Mom, if ever I end up in a vegetative state when you are alive, please never let me go on like that.....totally dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle. If you see me in that state I want you to disconnect all the contraptions that are keeping me alive. I'd much rather die'.

Up went my mom from the sofa, with this real look of admiration towards me...and proceeded to disconnect the TV, the Cable, the Dish, the DVD, the Computer, the Cell Phone, the Ipod, and the Xbox, and then went to the fridge and threw away all my beer!!

....I ALMOST DIED!!
 
Re: joke time !!

U HAD TO POST THAT ..

NOW I FEEL LIKE THAT TOO ... :mad:

Nice one Eazy Sir ji ..

First PixelPusher ji and now u..Veterans on the loose eh ? ;) :p
 
Re: joke time !!

Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.

The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate.

“Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”
 
Re: joke time !!

A "one-liner" supposed to be read/said in Hindi...posting as one of this annoying scollers:

Ek cockroach ne dusre cockroach ko gaana sunaya, aur cockroach mar gaya... KYON????

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Kyon ki gaana HIT tha!
 
Only Poor Jokes are allowed here.

Here's mine:-

First Person Says: Mere Paas Force, Kinetic Energy aur Potential Energy...Tere Paas kya hai??
Second Person: Mere Paas Ma Hai!!! [ F = Ma ]:rofl:
 
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