The Poor Jokes Thread
- Thread starter DanDroiD
- Start date
- Status
dark.lord.rules
Contributor
Gulshan Grover is riding a bike at the velocity of light.
On the way he offers a lift to a stranger.
Stranger: "Sir, can I know your name please"
Gulshan: "I am Gulshan Grocer"
Stranger: "Grocer? Sure you dont mean Gulshan Grover??"
Gulshan: "No it is Grocer"
Now tell me why did Gulshan say so...
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scroll down for the ultimate PJ
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Further…
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Little further...
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ANS: Because at the speed of light V=C
Ek baar ek aadmi ek auto mein baithta hai aur ghar le jaane ko bolta hai..
Autowala, yeh dekhkar ki aadmi sheher mein naya hai, bahut ghuma phira ke le jaata hai aur bahut charge kar deta hai.
Ghar pahunchte pahunchte bahut der ho jaati hai aur andhera ho jaata hai.
Aadmi pehle se hi bahut frustrated hai aur ghar jaake dekhta hai ki bijli nahi hai.
Par aadmi ko sab kuch saaf saaf dikhayee deta hai.
Kaise???
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Kyonki autowala aadmi ko ULLOO bana deta hai aur usko raat ko sab kuch saaf saaf dikhta hai.
On the way he offers a lift to a stranger.
Stranger: "Sir, can I know your name please"
Gulshan: "I am Gulshan Grocer"
Stranger: "Grocer? Sure you dont mean Gulshan Grover??"
Gulshan: "No it is Grocer"
Now tell me why did Gulshan say so...
.
.
.
.
scroll down for the ultimate PJ
.
.
.
.
Further…
.
.
.
Little further...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ANS: Because at the speed of light V=C
Ek baar ek aadmi ek auto mein baithta hai aur ghar le jaane ko bolta hai..
Autowala, yeh dekhkar ki aadmi sheher mein naya hai, bahut ghuma phira ke le jaata hai aur bahut charge kar deta hai.
Ghar pahunchte pahunchte bahut der ho jaati hai aur andhera ho jaata hai.
Aadmi pehle se hi bahut frustrated hai aur ghar jaake dekhta hai ki bijli nahi hai.
Par aadmi ko sab kuch saaf saaf dikhayee deta hai.
Kaise???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kyonki autowala aadmi ko ULLOO bana deta hai aur usko raat ko sab kuch saaf saaf dikhta hai.
hyeah: 
YoGi-Sama
Galvanizer
Munna Bhai: Ye Gandhi Bapu har note me haste kyun rehte hai?
Circuit: Simple hai bhai, Royenge to note Geela Nahi ho jayega !
Munna Bhai: What is the difference between bus & cycle?
Circuit: Bus ka stand bus ke sath kabhi nahi jata, Par cycle ka stand hamesha cycle ke sath jata hai.
Circuit: Simple hai bhai, Royenge to note Geela Nahi ho jayega !
Munna Bhai: What is the difference between bus & cycle?
Circuit: Bus ka stand bus ke sath kabhi nahi jata, Par cycle ka stand hamesha cycle ke sath jata hai.
dark.lord.rules
Contributor
few more for u all to laugh ur ass off 
Question
In a pond there are 10 fish, one of them dies, and the water level of the pond increases.
How?
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Answer
The other 9 fishes are crying.................
How to catch a lion?
Newton's Method
Let, the lion catch you.
For every action there is equal and opposite reaction.
Implies you caught lion.
Einstein Method
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily.
Software Engineer Method
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion. If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.
Indian Police Method
Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion.
Rajnikanth Method
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.
Ramarajan Method
Remove the make-up and put it over lion. The lionwill die notwithstanding that heavy weight.
Jayalalitha Method
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !
Manirathnam Method (director)
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted.
Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.
Karan Johar Method (director)
Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other. Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.
First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another lioness(third) into the forest.
You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont !
Yash Chopra method (director)
Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.
Govinda method
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.
Menaka Gandhi method
save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.
George Bush method
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!
Ravi Shastri method
Ask the lion to bowl at u. U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run
Ek baar ek aadmi ne badi tapasya ki.
shivji khush .
Prakat hue ...
bole ...
.
puttar maang ...
maang kya chahiye tujhey !
bakth utha ...
bole shivji ...
mujhey to aap sirf ek guitar de do !
shivji bole kaisa gadha hai ?
unhone kaha ... puttar ...
tuney badi achchi tapsya ki hai ...
kuch bada maang !
.
wo fir bola ... nahi ji ..mujhey to aap guitar hi do
shivji ne phir samajhaya .. abey .. kuch dhang ka maang ...!
par wo to ada hi hua tha ... bola nahi ... aap to mujhey guitar hi do !
shivji usey bade pyaar se khopch me lekar samjhane lage ...
bole ..yaar tu
kuch aur maang .. guitar
na maang ...
wo bola ... nahi nahi nahi !! mujhey sirf guitar hi chahiye
... ab
shivji gussey main aa gaye ... boley ,
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saale .. agar guitar mere paas hota to main ye damaru kyo
bajata
Question
In a pond there are 10 fish, one of them dies, and the water level of the pond increases.
How?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Answer
The other 9 fishes are crying.................
How to catch a lion?
Newton's Method
Let, the lion catch you.
For every action there is equal and opposite reaction.
Implies you caught lion.
Einstein Method
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily.
Software Engineer Method
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion. If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.
Indian Police Method
Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion.
Rajnikanth Method
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.
Ramarajan Method
Remove the make-up and put it over lion. The lionwill die notwithstanding that heavy weight.
Jayalalitha Method
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !
Manirathnam Method (director)
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted.
Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.
Karan Johar Method (director)
Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other. Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.
First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another lioness(third) into the forest.
You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont !
Yash Chopra method (director)
Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.
Govinda method
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.
Menaka Gandhi method
save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.
George Bush method
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!
Ravi Shastri method
Ask the lion to bowl at u. U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run
Ek baar ek aadmi ne badi tapasya ki.
shivji khush .
Prakat hue ...
bole ...
.
puttar maang ...
maang kya chahiye tujhey !
bakth utha ...
bole shivji ...
mujhey to aap sirf ek guitar de do !
shivji bole kaisa gadha hai ?
unhone kaha ... puttar ...
tuney badi achchi tapsya ki hai ...
kuch bada maang !
.
wo fir bola ... nahi ji ..mujhey to aap guitar hi do
shivji ne phir samajhaya .. abey .. kuch dhang ka maang ...!
par wo to ada hi hua tha ... bola nahi ... aap to mujhey guitar hi do !
shivji usey bade pyaar se khopch me lekar samjhane lage ...
bole ..yaar tu
kuch aur maang .. guitar
na maang ...
wo bola ... nahi nahi nahi !! mujhey sirf guitar hi chahiye
... ab
shivji gussey main aa gaye ... boley ,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
saale .. agar guitar mere paas hota to main ye damaru kyo
bajata
abhi.eternal
Contributor
- Status