The Poor Jokes Thread

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What do three ants say when they see an elephant in the swimming pool, with one ant on top of the elephant?

-"Daba do Sale ko"

What do three ants say when they see an elephant running towards them?

-Ant1: Maaro Sale ko

-Ant2: Iske Haat-paer Tod do

-Ant3: Ise **** do, waise bhi hum teen hai aur woh ek hai. Thoda unfair ho jayega.
 
# Malik naukar se...

"Batao, sex Maza hai ya Mehnat...?"

Naukar, " Maalik, maza hi hoga...mehnat hoti to aap hamse na karwate..."

# In the movie Sholay, which character had a double role...

King George... the double sided coin :ohyeah::ohyeah:
 
Teacher: 'What is your name?'.
Student: 'Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.'
Teacher: 'When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.'
Student: 'My name is Sunlight .
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.

Question: What is the full form of maths.
Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students
Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it.
Raju: No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher: Why?
Raju: My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!
Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
 
# Always start your day with a lot of S E X. S-mile, E-nergy, X-citement. So make SEX a daily habit, and you`ll always be SMILING!

Santa and Banta were looking at a catalog and admiring the models.

Santa says to the Banta, "Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?"

Banta replies, "Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!"

Santa says, with wide eyes, "Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying one."

Banta smiles and pats him on the back, "Good idea! Order one and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one too."

Three weeks later, Banta asks Santa, "Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the catalog?"

Santa replies, "No, but it shouldn't be long now. I got her clothes yesterday!"
 
Whats the difference between a quadratic curve and a roti in the shape of a line?

One is Non-Linear, the other a Linear Nan

:P, now thats a PJ
 
#
this is this cat
this is is cat
this is how cat
this is to cat
this is keep cat
this is a cat
this is dumbass cat
this is busy cat
this is for cat
this is forty cat
this is seconds cat

dont understand any the above? keep trying for some time. when you give up, see the spoiler below

now read just the third word of each sentence

btw some real good ones on this site: Text Laughs

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how do you keep a dumbass busy? scroll down for the answer...

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how do you keep a dumbass busy? scroll up for the answer...
#
this may be a poor joke... or a neat trick: Monkey Magic
 
There was a variation on vishal's joke I'd heard a while back;

Q: How do you confuse an idiot?

A: Put him in a round room and ask him to find its corner.

Q: How does an idiot confuse you?

A: When he finds the corner.
 
What do you call a hooker with braces??

-A black and decker pecker wrecker

Two blondes walk into a building.

You'd think one of them would have seen it.
 
There was a calculus professor who was new in town. He was looking for a place to stay.
He wanted accomodation on cot basis.
 
If you win despite losing, What would your Granny call you?

Jigar.
Kyunki Harkar bhi jeetne waale ko, 'Baa - Jigar' kehte hai
:P
 
One day a college student goes to the canteen, and orders a vada-pav.

He lifts up the pav and finds "jannat" written on the plate.

What is his professors name?

Ishq ki chaao

Why?

Jinke sir ho ishq ke chaao, paav ke neeche jaanat hogi...
 
^^ Hilarious :D ,

One true PJ(really bad) from my side,

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Beggar (to a guy) : Upar wale ke naam pe kuchh de do bhai.

the guy gives him a push :p
 
Teri Surat dekhke
Mere dil per raha na
Kabu…..
Gaur Farmaiyega….
Teri Surat dekhke
Mere dil per raha na
Kabu…..
Pac chic Pak Raja Babu
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Gaur Farmaiyega….
Ki tujhe dekh ke ho gaya tujhe se pyar
Wah wah
Ki tujhe dekh ke ho gaya tujhe se pyar
Wah wah
Ki tujhe dekh ke ho gaya tujhe se pyar
Ek galasi do galasi teen galasi char
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tere chere ki kya daat dun…
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Tere chere ki kya daat dun…
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Mann karta hai ghooma k ek laat dun….
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Main teri aakhon me aise dooba
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Main teri aakhon me aise dooba
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Jaise…
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Doobuk!
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Betuki aur ghatiya shayari wale yahan se khisco
Wah wah wah…..
Betuki aur ghatiya shayari wale yahan se khisco
Dil main mere hai Darde Disco!!!!!!
 
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