The Poor Jokes Thread

I learnt this one just today;

What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?

Hold on to your nuts coz this is going to be one heck of a blow job.
 
The ant-elephant legacy:

The ant was riding the bike and the elephant was the pillion passenger. They meet with an accident and the elephant suffered serious injuries and was hospitalised but the ant wasn't! Why???
The ant was wearing a helmet!
 
*Why can't hippopotamus lie?
Because ....

Hips don't lie.

*Agar Do Pipal Ke Ped Ko Ek Rassi Se Bandh Diya Jaye To Us Rassi Ko Kya Kahenge?

Answer: 'NOKIA': Connecting Pipal

*What is the height of patriotism?
Sitting on a western style toilet in an Indian style.

*What's long, black and full of seamen?
A submarine.

*What would be the Climax scene if Rajnikant makes Lagaan???
20 runs needed of 1 ball....................
.........
Bowler bowls....
Rajni hits....
Ball splits in 4 pieces....

all pieces go for 6
INDIA WINS....
YENNA RASCALA.....MIND IT :p

*2+2=8 bolo kaise?

Galti se

* You r alone in a boat in the middle of a vast sea and you hav 2 cigars..but no lighter..how r u goin to smoke a cigar??

Method no.1..dip one of dem in the water..so water's gonna drip 4m it..now..
tip tip barsa paani..pani ne aag lagai.....
ther's anothr way.....think...

Method no.2 ....throw one of 'em in the water..so the boat will bcom LIGHTER..
now use the LIGHTER !!!

Method no.3 .....throw one cigar in air and catch it,,so..CATCHES WIN MATCHES...
use the Matches!!

........there's yet another method.....

fondle one of the cigar...ye dekhko...dusri cigar JALNE lagi!!!!!!!!!
_______________________________________
 
What makes women chase men they have no intention of marrying ?

The same urge that makes a dog chase a vehicle it has no intention of driving. :ashamed:
 
thetoxicmind said:
What makes women chase men they have no intention of marrying ?

The same urge that makes a dog chase a vehicle it has no intention of driving. :ashamed:
Click to expand...

perhaps this is the same urge that makes a dog dry hump a leg even when it isn't going to get any that way. :p
 
Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a
small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search
and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that
number to climb as digging continues into the night.
 
PiXeLpUsHeR said:
perhaps this is the same urge that makes a dog dry hump a leg even when it isn't going to get any that way. :p
Click to expand...

That's when they are in HEAT! :p

They target anything & everything that moves... :rofl:

* A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

* One day Dick Cheney, George Bush and Laura Bush were in a private jet going to France.

Then, George Bush said, " If i throw this hundred dollar bill off this jet I'll make one person happy!"

Then Dick Cheney said, " Man if i throw ten, ten dollar bills down, I'll make ten people happy!"

Then Laura Bush said, " If I throw one hundred one dollar bills off this jet I'll make a hundred people happy."

Then the pilot said, " Man, if I throw these 3 losers outta this jet, I'll make six billion people happy."

* A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time.

After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game.

Oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn't understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents.

Suprised, the boyfriend asked, what do you mean?

The blonde girlfriend replied, all they kept screaming was: "Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!"
 
my 2 cents

1. Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night... One was assaulted.
2. A termite walks into a bar room and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
3. "Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud."
"Yes sir, it's fresh ground."
4. What's brown and sticky? A stick.
5. Why are proctologists so gloomy?
They always have the end in sight.
6. What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
Roamin' Catholic.
7. What did the apple say to the orange?
Nothing stupid, apples don't talk.
8. What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him out for a drag.
9. Why can't a chicken coop have more than 2 doors?
Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan.
10. Famous last words of a mafia hitman: "Who put the violin in the violin case?"

11. How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?
12. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
13. What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung.
14. What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A private tutor.
15. What do you call spending the afternoon with a cranky rabbit?
A bad hare day.
16. Have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower?
That's because he hides well.
17. What was the centerpiece of the annual
Anorexia and Bulimnia sufferers convention?
A cake jumping out of a girl.
18. Where do kings keep their armies?
In their sleevies.
19. Why don't anteaters get sick?
Because they're full of anty-bodies.
 
Matunga! Tera Naak Katunga! :p

An Apple and Banana are having a fight.

Banana says to apple - Are log tujhe kaat kaat ke khate hai! Teri koi izzat hi nahi!

apple says to banana - Are mujhe to kaat kaat ke khate hai na, log jujhe NANGA karke khate hai! :lol:
 
2 pieces of string went into a bar and ordered a couple of drinks and the bartender says "I'm sorry but I don't serve strings here, are you both strings?" One of them turns to him and says " I'm a frayed knot"
 
PiXeLpUsHeR said:
2 pieces of string went into a bar and ordered a couple of drinks and the bartender says "I'm sorry but I don't serve strings here, are you both strings?" One of them turns to him and says " I'm a frayed knot"
Click to expand...

I would just assign them integer values, so they would become typecast as integers :p
 
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