malhotraraul
Galvanizer
I am serious and yes, don't transfer the land when he returns the money, sell him at prevailing rates of that time.
Tips on Avoiding Relative asking money, plz help :(
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I am serious and yes, don't transfer the land when he returns the money, sell him at prevailing rates of that time.
It will involve income tax implications + 6% registry based on circle rates . not Worth the effort .
Tell him you want the Property papers instead of registry on your name .
Avoiding him wont be possible . You will meet him at several family functions and that might be a problem.
Money loaned to family members is generally not recoverable . Burnt my fingers many times .
<RANT>
My father has given away almost all his wealth to his family members. Shameless people. They still visit our home and talk as if everything's fine. They took money years ago and haven't returned it as of yet. Some did return it after 5 years or so, but without interest that is still a loss, and a waste of time begging them for his own money. Other shameless people have also taken gold jewelery from my mother just so they can wear at functions, and lo behold, the same behaviour. Persistent human scums, and they are very closely related to me, I grew up in their arms literally. My father is still helpful towards them, but I know they are still fleecing him, laughing inside. Their children have grown up now and are earning pretty well, but they still find ways to con, and the funny thing is even their children are doing the same, though they're finding more lucrative targets now that my father is no more one.
Growing up with such family members has destroyed my belief of any external family (those apart from parents and siblings). And to top it off, these scumbags have problems with my atheistic stance, how dare they. I avoid contact with any of them, never visit any functions, and my sarcasm is over level 9000 around them.
</RANT>
But, apart from that, I made a lot of friends in my college. I realised one thing, that even I have some of the same traits as my father. I cannot deny others when asked for something without feeling guilty, even after realising it. I don't even know how much I've loaned my friends now, but it's still miniscule to what my father lost. I think the trait is genetic, some sort of altruistic dilemma when it comes to making decisions. I have to teach myself to make decisions that don't conflict with it, and it needs to be self enforced.
The decisions you make can really affect the way you or the ones around you grow up to be, so always go out with caution, never let anyone take advantage of you.
My father has given away almost all his wealth to his family members. Shameless people. They still visit our home and talk as if everything's fine. They took money years ago and haven't returned it as of yet. Some did return it after 5 years or so, but without interest that is still a loss, and a waste of time begging them for his own money. Other shameless people have also taken gold jewelery from my mother just so they can wear at functions, and lo behold, the same behaviour. Persistent human scums, and they are very closely related to me, I grew up in their arms literally. My father is still helpful towards them, but I know they are still fleecing him, laughing inside. Their children have grown up now and are earning pretty well, but they still find ways to con, and the funny thing is even their children are doing the same, though they're finding more lucrative targets now that my father is no more one.
Growing up with such family members has destroyed my belief of any external family (those apart from parents and siblings). And to top it off, these scumbags have problems with my atheistic stance, how dare they. I avoid contact with any of them, never visit any functions, and my sarcasm is over level 9000 around them.
</RANT>
But, apart from that, I made a lot of friends in my college. I realised one thing, that even I have some of the same traits as my father. I cannot deny others when asked for something without feeling guilty, even after realising it. I don't even know how much I've loaned my friends now, but it's still miniscule to what my father lost. I think the trait is genetic, some sort of altruistic dilemma when it comes to making decisions. I have to teach myself to make decisions that don't conflict with it, and it needs to be self enforced.
The decisions you make can really affect the way you or the ones around you grow up to be, so always go out with caution, never let anyone take advantage of you.
My family past story is similar.My father used to give a close family gifts and crackers in diwali thrice than he used to give us.But once that family gave their daughter to blood diamond merchant of Africa they no longer need our help or come here begging.I remember I had asked them video game and they brought one but not for me but for his own son from there.I cried bad .Its 21. Years ago story.
The best thing to do now is put money in instrument where you can't break it .Hence there is no point of sharing like PPF and Tax savings fd.
My dad gave a lot of money away (in lakhs) to relatives...and sadly passed away. There is no way we can retrieve that cash. Not that we are tight on cash..we are still damn well off, but no relative owned up. No record of the transaction, just some big holes in the bank accounts. We know where the cash went, exactly to whom, but it is "gone".
Agreed but when you have it.And relative sitting at bay just to eat up than its better to lock in somewhere where we can pull it out in future rather than crying later about it.
I find PPF best tol for it.FOr a family of four 4 lakhs a year is saved that way if all are major and more than 10 years lock in.
Well I cannot exactly tell that to my dad right. He was controlling his assets, not me. And I am not crying about it either, just putting in my testimony.
Happens.Even my dad has least hope on me or take me seriously.
He scolded me for owning kingfisher shares and stated not to put his money on such junkyard whereas i bought and sold that share in profit than.
raksrules
Oracle
Damn these give away talks are similar at my home too. Next time when I go to Mumbai I am going to ask my dad where all he has given money to help others and how much and what is the return status. I know it is his money and he is free to do whatever he wants but wasting on greedy relatives is the last thing.
krishnandu
Galvanizer
+ in prefix means the person is in your friend list not as in postfix.
For Eg. Rahul++ is the username only. But +Rahul++ means Rahul++ is in your friendlist. This is the feature of VB.
mojo
Forerunner
+ in prefix means the person is in your friend list not as in postfix.
For Eg. Rahul++ is the username only. But +Rahul++ means Rahul++ is in your friendlist. This is the feature of VB.
Dude, there is no + in prefix for any of my friends who are online at the moment.
krishnandu
Galvanizer
They need to be in the same thread too. Like if I'm in your friend list, If both you and me views the thread at same time, I will see + before your username and you'll see + before my username under Thread information (Presently how many members are viewing this thread).
even mine too my dad has gave to some of rowdy friend who don't show respect to us, that why i am little tight on cash, and lesson learn i will not give any amount to any of my friend who already conned me and no use for us..
harry_houdini
Contributor
From my experience I would like to tell what I have observed so far. There are kinds of people for whom even if you put your life on risk, there is a high probability that next day they wont even be grateful and wont help you when you are in need. Then there are kinds of people who if you have just fed 2 meals will stand by you the rest of your life.
I have personally seen both sets of people.
I have friends who have taken a lot of help( not just financial(small) but all kinds ) from me, but whenever I needed their help, they always have something to do or are busy or cannot ask for help because am an outsider, etc. I never ask for money from someone else because I rather stay away from something than beg. I get a feeling at times of just being "used". But then I have had a couple of nice friends too. So its not only about money, think many times before lending anything valuable to you in your life. Even time is valuable. Your feelings and emotions are valuable to you. Do not just give it out to anyone out there. I am not saying totally live in isolation but make the right choices, yes sometimes you are proven to be wrong but that is ok because in the end you did take and informed decision. But if you just take blind decisions, you are bound for disaster.
I have a friend who is a textbook practical guy. The one thing he has taught me you have to say "NO", a big NO whenever it is required. He has fewer friends because of this habit but he says should he care about someone who does not care about him. His parents don't like him because he does not even lend money to his own cousin. He tells his father that he never bothered to ask what he did with his money so he should not ask him what he does with his. That might sound a bit extreme but that's how he is. It would not be tough to guess that he is a successful man. Yea the only place he was defeated is when his sister's husband had asked for money to set up his business even after paying a huge dowry(which I was against and people were literally laughing on me calling me a madman). He had initially said NO but then broke down after an emotional ask of help from his sister.
So I guess we cannot totally avoid these things but we can avoid it largely. So not only money, but please think a lot before sharing your time, emotions, feelings, caring nature to someone. Because you might not get the money, same emotions, same feelings, same care in return. Some great people do not expect a return of feeling or emotions but not all are great. So Being Smart, say a big NO to that guy.
I have personally seen both sets of people.
I have friends who have taken a lot of help( not just financial(small) but all kinds ) from me, but whenever I needed their help, they always have something to do or are busy or cannot ask for help because am an outsider, etc. I never ask for money from someone else because I rather stay away from something than beg. I get a feeling at times of just being "used". But then I have had a couple of nice friends too. So its not only about money, think many times before lending anything valuable to you in your life. Even time is valuable. Your feelings and emotions are valuable to you. Do not just give it out to anyone out there. I am not saying totally live in isolation but make the right choices, yes sometimes you are proven to be wrong but that is ok because in the end you did take and informed decision. But if you just take blind decisions, you are bound for disaster.
I have a friend who is a textbook practical guy. The one thing he has taught me you have to say "NO", a big NO whenever it is required. He has fewer friends because of this habit but he says should he care about someone who does not care about him. His parents don't like him because he does not even lend money to his own cousin. He tells his father that he never bothered to ask what he did with his money so he should not ask him what he does with his. That might sound a bit extreme but that's how he is. It would not be tough to guess that he is a successful man. Yea the only place he was defeated is when his sister's husband had asked for money to set up his business even after paying a huge dowry(which I was against and people were literally laughing on me calling me a madman). He had initially said NO but then broke down after an emotional ask of help from his sister.
So I guess we cannot totally avoid these things but we can avoid it largely. So not only money, but please think a lot before sharing your time, emotions, feelings, caring nature to someone. Because you might not get the money, same emotions, same feelings, same care in return. Some great people do not expect a return of feeling or emotions but not all are great. So Being Smart, say a big NO to that guy.
Yups, a lot of humans are geocentric and self-centered around themselves. As you mentioned there are two facets to this. One is the person who remains to himself and does not seek help, nor helps others. The latter is the leech: takes help from others (expects it); and then is thankless at the minimal. One has to hear things like "am I running away with your money"; when asked. It is really irritating. Or they say: You earn so much, can you not pardon me for another 6 months.
Being.smart
Galvanizer
@blkrb0t @asingh @MAGNeT , Sad to hear all those story 
. Really don't know what these people think of us kidz
Today evening after reading all of your post, i called the uncle and said i am ready to give him money, provided that he can keep his gold security with my which will be put in locker,
also i gave him another option, few months ago i had posted a thread that i had loaned money for my friend's dad for my friend's college fees, who is now employed and money still not recovered. I asked him to recover money from there and keep it
@harry_houdini, i also faced almost similar situation with my 1st sister marriage which i had conduced on 2011. I had spend almost XX lacs on her marriage, spent tons which emptied my banks for 10 months, even when i know she's my steps sister. But see the attitude of Indians, his husband started coming every week to my house, started taking interest in my business, and slowly after 6 months said i also want to open a showroom , i said wow nice go for it, then he says he will be short on money can i help him , i relentlessly said, i worked for 20 hr everyday and made this, you too should start working like that. The next day i thrashed my sister, if she want to keep relation with me and want me to be good with her in future, better ask your husband not to interfere in my property or business. Thankfully around marriage, i had made my sister sign an agreement stating that he has no interest/claim with my property or anything which is under my mother name
. Really don't know what these people think of us kidz Today evening after reading all of your post, i called the uncle and said i am ready to give him money, provided that he can keep his gold security with my which will be put in locker,
also i gave him another option, few months ago i had posted a thread that i had loaned money for my friend's dad for my friend's college fees, who is now employed and money still not recovered. I asked him to recover money from there and keep it
@harry_houdini, i also faced almost similar situation with my 1st sister marriage which i had conduced on 2011. I had spend almost XX lacs on her marriage, spent tons which emptied my banks for 10 months, even when i know she's my steps sister. But see the attitude of Indians, his husband started coming every week to my house, started taking interest in my business, and slowly after 6 months said i also want to open a showroom , i said wow nice go for it, then he says he will be short on money can i help him , i relentlessly said, i worked for 20 hr everyday and made this, you too should start working like that
. The next day i thrashed my sister, if she want to keep relation with me and want me to be good with her in future, better ask your husband not to interfere in my property or business. Thankfully around marriage, i had made my sister sign an agreement stating that he has no interest/claim with my property or anything which is under my mother name
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whatsinaname
Innovator
Lots of people will stop asking if you ask for interest to be payed. If you don't want to ask for interest outright, tell them that you have the money in a fixed deposit and that you can lend them money if they pay the penalty for breaking it (which you can set to whatever interest you want to charge).
A contract is a must. Tell them that you have seen too many relationships spoilt because of money and that you value your relationship with them too much to take that risk. 99% of the people will stop asking at this point. The ones who agree, might actually be people who need help.
A contract is a must. Tell them that you have seen too many relationships spoilt because of money and that you value your relationship with them too much to take that risk. 99% of the people will stop asking at this point. The ones who agree, might actually be people who need help.
harry_houdini
Contributor
This line is being used by people since I do not know how many centuries.
harry_houdini, i also faced almost similar situation with my 1st sister marriage which i had conduced on 2011. I had spend almost XX lacs on her marriage, spent tons which emptied my banks for 10 months, even when i know she's my steps sister. But see the attitude of Indians, his husband started coming every week to my house, started taking interest in my business, and slowly after 6 months said i also want to open a showroom , i said wow nice go for it, then he says he will be short on money can i help him , i relentlessly said, i worked for 20 hr everyday and made this, you too should start working like that
Well I don't know if in your case your sister was fully involved with her husband. In my friend's case, her husband was emotionally harassing her and that's why she asked for money, otherwise she had avoided for a long time but once it reached her limits, she felt tired and reluctantly begged for it.
Btw good to know you did something for her even though she was your step sister, but in the end you must realize, she is not at any fault for being a "step" sister.
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