Tips on Avoiding Relative asking money, plz help :(

[tkin]

One of my relative, not too close and not too far has started troubling me since 1 week .

According to him, he had bought some lands @xx.xx lacs, and now he needs money for registering it, and asking me to lend him 2-3 lacs . I simply denied saying that i have to go for my sis marriage, and also have to go for higher education .

Still he comes to my home daily early morning, and starts his story and sits for 3-4 hrs, even now he is sitting in my living room talking with mom :ill:

Is there any much more easy way to get rid of him without hurting him, since he used to be good friend of my dad.

This time i am not in mood to lend a single penny due my early bitter experience where i had lots loads of money :1ign236:

Just tell him your family had recently lost some money in poor investments and you don't have anything to spare, if he keeps bothering then cut all ties, my parents had been burned by this twice, lost a huge amount to a relative, so we took a strong stand.

 

[sharktale1212]

My dad gave a lot of money away (in lakhs) to relatives...and sadly passed away. There is no way we can retrieve that cash. Not that we are tight on cash..we are still damn well off, but no relative owned up. No record of the transaction, just some big holes in the bank accounts. We know where the cash went, exactly to whom, but it is "gone".

Well I can really understand that. My father was duped by his brother and then by his friends. In the end we were having food by selling cartons to raddiwala. No one helped us out. My father passed away due to the tension seeing our condition.
My mother had an accident recently when I was not at home. Some relatives took her to a doctor. When I went back, my uncle kept reminding of 30 rs he paid for auto. I was so ultra-pissed. When I gave him the money his face turned red (was expecting my mother to pay back). He tells my mother - son is earning na, so why need to take a loan. That guy duped my father for 25 lakhs and was crying for 30rs. Taught me one thing - relatives are the worst thing u can have.

 

[asingh]

Well I can really understand that. My father was duped by his brother and then by his friends. In the end we were having food by selling cartons to raddiwala. No one helped us out. My father passed away due to the tension seeing our condition.
My mother had an accident recently when I was not at home. Some relatives took her to a doctor. When I went back, my uncle kept reminding of 30 rs he paid for auto. I was so ultra-pissed. When I gave him the money his face turned red (was expecting my mother to pay back). He tells my mother - son is earning na, so why need to take a loan. That guy duped my father for 25 lakhs and was crying for 30rs. Taught me one thing - relatives are the worst thing u can have.

Yea, that is the thing. People are heartless. By the grace of God, and touch wood....when our father left us, me and my sister were firmly established in our careers and my mother has always been a working professional -doing- really well. So the money we lost really did not pinch us per say. What hurt us was that, the money gone, was our dad's blood and sweat. He died a year after retirement. We were not entitled to his hard earned money (nor did I eye it ever as inheritance), but HE was. We could never get it back. I also recall an incidence, a family friend (in fact 2nd cousin) came up to me, during the final rites, and asked...if I could lend him RS 300/--- since he had come by taxi to attend the final proceedings. Imagine...! I did not tell this to my mom or sister. They would have probably killed that 2nd cousin of my dad. As a rule, never ever tell your salary package to relatives. First blood line is fine, but beyond that just do not. People like to hawk and leech off. They think it is their right or something. F*** them.

 

[sharktale1212]

Yea, that is the thing. People are heartless. By the grace of God, and touch wood....when our father left us, me and my sister were firmly established in our careers and my mother has always been a working professional -doing- really well. So the money we lost really did not pinch us per say. What hurt us was that, the money gone, was our dad's blood and sweat. He died a year after retirement. We were not entitled to his hard earned money (nor did I eye it ever as inheritance), but HE was. We could never get it back. I also recall an incidence, a family friend (in fact 2nd cousin) came up to me, during the final rites, and asked...if I could lend him RS 300/--- since he had come by taxi to attend the final proceedings. Imagine...! I did not tell this to my mom or sister. They would have probably killed that 2nd cousin of my dad. As a rule, never ever tell your salary package to relatives. First blood line is fine, but beyond that just do not. People like to hawk and leech off. They think it is their right or something. F*** them.

I dont talk to my relatives even though they keep calling me. When they ask my mother about me, she always says I am broke and not doing any work to avoid all these hassles.

 

[Being.smart]

@sharktale1212 really pissed off hearing your story, just pray to God to shower with much more luxuries than those which were lost due to that bloody uncle .

 

[6pack]

I read this quote on a site which seems to hold true for good people like us:

A good deed never goes unpunished.

 

[tkin]

Yea, that is the thing. People are heartless. By the grace of God, and touch wood....when our father left us, me and my sister were firmly established in our careers and my mother has always been a working professional -doing- really well. So the money we lost really did not pinch us per say. What hurt us was that, the money gone, was our dad's blood and sweat. He died a year after retirement. We were not entitled to his hard earned money (nor did I eye it ever as inheritance), but HE was. We could never get it back. I also recall an incidence, a family friend (in fact 2nd cousin) came up to me, during the final rites, and asked...if I could lend him RS 300/--- since he had come by taxi to attend the final proceedings. Imagine...! I did not tell this to my mom or sister. They would have probably killed that 2nd cousin of my dad. As a rule, never ever tell your salary package to relatives. First blood line is fine, but beyond that just do not. People like to hawk and leech off. They think it is their right or something. F*** them.

True, my relative took over 3 lakhs from parents, and now they are well off they won't even pay it back, the final blow came when even before I join my job that they again started asking me for money and emotionally blackmailing me, we rose from very poor conditions, when I was a kid my parents had to do night shifts to make both ends meet, now that we are well off the vultures are circling around, they will probably kill my mother(emotional blackmail, she has heart problems)

 

[Being.smart]

Sometime i think that i should leave my home and settle some around in other house in order to avoid all this basters, where no one will know me

and then hell rises again, as soon as i leave my house, some other relative will come and start asking for the ask for the house

 

[asingh]

True, my relative took over 3 lakhs from parents, and now they are well off they won't even pay it back, the final blow came when even before I join my job that they again started asking me for money and emotionally blackmailing me, we rose from very poor conditions, when I was a kid my parents had to do night shifts to make both ends meet, now that we are well off the vultures are circling around, they will probably kill my mother(emotional blackmail, she has heart problems)

You just have to be strong and staunch. If you never took obligation from anyone, you owe no one anything. Defend your ma; it is your job to do that...from malignant relatives, even if you have to break the shackles of family ties. I have done that, and do that. If a relative calls me at work, I answer back sternly and tell them never to call again.

 

[rdst_1]

I took a loan from a relative of mine to start my small business because my father thought I wouldn't be successful. It took me 1 year but just a few days back I paid it all back. They didn't ask for any interest because we are very close.
After some time my father also invested some money so that my business could grow. I know that even if I don't return even a single paisa of that money, he wont say anything but I have been returning him the money in monthly installments. He tells me that I should keep investing the money but I feel that it is very important to return that money as it is not mine. Till I wasn't earning, I didn't think that way but now I can't even think of taking money from my father. For further investment I took a small loan even though my father could have easily given me that much money.
I have 2 business partners and right now both owe me around 2 lakhs in total. Earlier I was careless but now I have taken control of the finances and have slowly started recuperating my money. Generally the money was kept with one of the partners and since I am a big spender I used to let him keep my profit as well because that way I would be investing it instead of spending it. Next thing I know, he went ahead and bought a second hand piece of junk from my profits. Since that day I took control of the finances. My problem is I am too trusty just like my Dad, but now I know better. Thankfully I haven't lost the money yet as since both of them are working with me I keep taking what they owe me from their share of profit.

 

[raksrules]

^^Similarly i too avoid asking my dad about any money. I wanted to buy few things for quite some time and my father could have easily given me money for that but still i used to save money from my monthly salary and when i had enough i would buy what i wanted, like i bought my bike with my entire money and same with my LCD TV. I know for many it might be insane few years back and it was for me too to spend upwards of a lakh for a television but i did with my own money and no loans or anything.

We do have a not so close relative who we know is not well off in terms of earnings, my dad does help him with money and old clothes and such things, but many a times he asks for more money without returning what he has already taken and moreover the last time (1.5 years of so back) when he asked more, my father told him he had no money to give as everything is invested and that's when he insists my dad to ask me to give the money :O. They know i have been abroad and all so they shamefully ask if i can give. I told my dad i won't be giving a single paisa as this is my savings and moreover i know it will probably never come back and i would feel awkward to ask.

We Indians have this inbuilt habit of saving our hard earned money, not always for ourselves but for others we love and want to see them happy in future and these vultures come to pounce on our money. Sick.

 

[Being.smart]

I think RBI IRDA and SEBI should start some sort of new policies in order to avoid such headbangers

 

[sid_donnydarko]

We Indians have this inbuilt habit of saving our hard earned money, not always for ourselves but for others we love and want to see them happy in future and these vultures come to pounce on our money. Sick.

Not entirely true. While we do possess an inherent habit to save, we do not save with the intentions you've mentioned.

Money is power; Money is prestige; Money is respect. And we cleverly wrap all three into intentions of love and well-wishes which in reality are really pretexts.

 

[raksrules]

Not entirely true. While we do possess an inherent habit to save, we do not save with the intentions you've mentioned.

Money is power; Money is prestige; Money is respect. And we cleverly wrap all three into intentions of love and well-wishes which in reality are really pretexts.

Agreed on this. But personally i am not into saving money to show i have all i want and gain respect and all. My personal goal is to give best to my family with the money irrespective of what others think.