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Import license is required for getting costly items into India... here, anything above Rs 2000, including shipping is termed as costly.
Penalty? Simply because OP's stuff was costlier than 2000 and he didn't have an import license. Read OP's post carefully; he was asked to provide an
IEC.
Gifts? This gift thing is abused so much now that there's no such term as a gift in customs' dictionary. So, forget about gifts... everyone knows that gifts are undervalued.
Yes, classification of duties is very much applicable... but only to the people who have import license, provided they don't default on any documentation etc.
PO is not discouraging anybody... it's just that they forgot to update their rules. They think that they still live in 1980s.
Export* license for WNX? You are doing a wrong comparison here... WNX, DHL, Aramex etc are not regular individuals... they are huge firms having proper Import Export licenses. Didn't it occur to you that you pay duty as described on customs' website when you buy a Rs 5000 item via SnS/iShop etc? And not just 41% + penalties? Because these guys have licenses and they clear the items from customs for you and hence you pay them the usual duty + convenience/handling charges!
I hope the logic is clear to you now!
*Importing country would levy appropriate duty on an item that you send (export from India) thru regular courier guys... WNX etc.