Encounter with Noobs !!!!

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What about utter nonsense in newspapers -

Just read this in Deccan Herald -

this is regarding malware in CAT website

"Two days after the online registration for the test began, its official website was listed as a page that could harm the user's system by the Google Chrome search engine on wednesday."

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When I first attended my engineering programming lab (it was Fortran then)-

The instructor shows me how to write a program to add 2 numbers and print them

the print statement was something like

write(*.*) somevar

or print (*.*) var - I no longer remember the exact syntax

Then, she asked me to write a program to add 3 numbers - so I do everything and for printing

write(*.*.*) var

She comes back and asks, why 3 *?

I say, we are adding 3 numbers, so 3 :)

I did not know that (*.*) was for output formatting.

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In the hostel, a guy comes to me and asks for AutoCAD and gives me 2 floppys to copy it for him

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One more guy in the hostel spends ~45k and gets a new comp.

my friend: Hey, what processor did you get?

the guy: I dont know, but its fast :)

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My friend wanted a laptop and he said someone he knows has an electronic shop and they sell dell laptops

me : I want a dell inspiron 15r with graphics card

sales guy : it will cost 36000

me : which graphics card does it has

sg : 512mb

me : ??? model

sg : sir its intel

me : ?? uhhhh, I want an ati

sg : 1 GB wala chalega

me : ok, but tell me the model

sg : sir, sabhi intel hote hai

me : ????, are you giving complete cover with accidental damage

sg : yes sir

me : are you sure, by default only normal warranty is given, the costs increases if you want accidental protection

sg : sir pichhe se yehi aati hai

me : (thinking) ... thank you

I told my friend that he can buy it from him but I won't be responsible for any goof ups.

inbetween I also told him the e-value code but he told me a different one, i said the dell website has this e-value code and he was like dell waale website update nahin karte ..... its wrong on the website .... and i was like .... ??
 
2 years old case..

Friend to me on asking why ur comp is not working

He replied- I brought a game CD from friend to copy the setup and by mistake instead of copying it to hard disk I copied it to RAM.. now my ram is full hence the comp is not running... Do U have any idea how to delete the setup from RAM..

I - no!!! I m noob :lol:
 
A few years back, my dad recently was hunting around for ink cartridges in the small town he was posted. So, he entered a shop whose board read "ink printer ink cartridges".

The convo went as follows:

Dad - Do you keep ink cartridges?

Shopkeeper - Yes Sir! (Looks to the side) Arre chotu, Sir ko ink cartridge laake do!

(*Chotu* comes and hands my dad an ink cartridge for a Parker pen)

Dad - Arre boss yeh nahi printer ke ink ki cartridge chahiye!

Shopkeeper - Sir, woh ham nahi rakhte!

Dad - Yaar, toh bahar kyon likha hai?

Shopkeeper - Kya baat kar rahe ho?! (Rushes out to see his own shop's board)

Dad - :|
 
One addition from my side.
Had installed windows 7 RC build on my friends desktop.
After some days friends friend (girl) asks what version of windows is it. Friend says its windows 7.
She says ok i will tell my comp wala to install it too.
Next day girl calls to my friend and says "why are you lying ?
My comp wala says nothing released after windows 2003 .
Windows 4 nahi aaya. 7 kaise aayega?
:P
Means how can you get windows 7 when windows 4 has not released till now?
 
XTechManiac said:
Each and every Mp3 player is an iPod.
Click to expand...

HAHAHA...so true...I was in this Nehru Place shop once when this lady comes in with her kid, flashing her 'oh-I'm-sooo-from-GK accent' ... bhaaaiya Sony waala ipod hay? (do you have the Sony ipod).

--- Updated Post - Automerged ---
GuruGulabKhatri said:
T:open goggles

Me : but I am only wearing Specs

T: uh-Uh not that...the Website

Me:oh u mean google?
Click to expand...

A friend of mine used to call it googli.

Him: Googli mein mil jayega.

Me: Wha...?

Him (irritated): Abey internet search (probably thinking, what a n00b).

Me: Duh.

In my office, a clerk had to check the Supreme Court website every evening, for updates. His homepage was set to Google. So invariably, each day he would start IE, search for Supreme Court in Google and reach the site from search results. Probably he was not aware of the URLs, address bar or favorites!
 
once i booted my pc and found none of the games were working.......... i found that there were no files in the installed folder............:@:@

on inquiring from my brother i found that he deleted the installation files claiming that they were unnecessarily wasting space as the game is on the desktop(he was pointing to the shortcuts)........

I :rofl::rofl::rofl: for 1 hour and installed the games again for next 1 hour..........
 
This happened when i got my ps3 ...

Me: I got a new sony ps3 its 80gb

Friend: Ohh gr8 ... what screen size does it has ?

Me: Duh! U need to connect it to a T.V its like a video game the ones u played Contra and super mario on :P

Friend: Ohh ... how much did it cost ?

Me: 20k

Friend: Chinese wala le lete

Me: Bro ps3 is produced only by sony

Friend: You purchased it in a hurry ... i have seen playstations in the local market with a screen inbuilt which costs way less than yours !

Me: Then buy that effing thing n shove it up ur arse :cursing:
 
devesh38 said:
once i booted my pc and found none of the games were working.......... i found that there were no files in the installed folder............:@:@

on inquiring from my brother i found that he deleted the installation files claiming that they were unnecessarily wasting space as the game is on the desktop(he was pointing to the shortcuts)........

I :rofl::rofl::rofl: for 1 hour and installed the games again for next 1 hour..........
Click to expand...

Me did the same.

There was game Beach-Head installed on my computer. I thought why not save space by deleting other unnecessary file? After deleting files, I found game wasn't working and next second got the idea that those files were important for games ;-).( This was when I had got my new computer, 6 years back.)
 
Guess lots of us did that. Me did it back in '97. Bro had installed Winzip shareware version (our first PC). I opened zip files and a window used to pop up with options...IIRC, the options were like 'continue shareware', 'enter registration key', 'exit'. I had no idea what those options meant ... got frustrated and deleted the Winzip folder from Program Files. When bro confronted, I said, it was not working anyways, so it was better to delete it.
 
hahaha...

more to add some scenarios...
1)--some 8yrs back their was majorly dialup net in market and many of us used free net suc as CALTIGER at that time.:)

So one of my noob friend asked, "Do we need to have a modem for accessing Caltiger or by simply clicking on the application will my net start?? :rofl::rofl:

i guess in advance he was referring to wifi at that times. :S

2)--- The ram virus issue is still in belief for many users.

At that times when your system was badly infected with viruses, friends use to offer some help. REALLY!

"tera ram juna ho gaya so jaldi virus pakdta hain. Antivirus juna ram tak nahi pahuch sakte.

Naya ram daal de pc pehle jaisa ban jayega":rofl:

Though i did suggested its not hardware but your OS that needs to be clean & upgrade your antivirus or download new ones. :argue: but smart people will remain smart.

And believe me some of them did purchased new ram bt the problem remained unsolved & then--

"arey yaar tune late kia ,ab woh virus board mein ghus gaya" mera engineer acha hai usne mere board ke saare virus hata diye.":bangin:

3)-- Games shortcut thing was common and not to get amazed it still happens even today.

New users feel that the desktop shorts is all what needs to be run the same and they delete the original folder and then cry that somethings wrong with their pcs.

In old days, people use to just copy the game shortcut in their floppies and on their pc they use to make their own fun.:gun2:

4)-- My noobness--

I got my first pc and had an AGP card on my mobo. That time i was illiterate in pc matetrs. Cd Games would not run on it. My friend told i need a Video card and theres no such thing as agp card...engineer ne kisi tv ka card daala rahega shayad... ask him for a video card.:S

On inquiring ,the engineer came and installed proper drivers (which by mistakenly i removed):ashamed: and voila my agp card did run all games as oppose to his video card.:thumb:

5)-- Last but not the least:

I bet you will laugh till you die..

Some time back when pen drives got common a friends friend used his unused brain. He was a programmer and used a 4gb hdd at that time on a P2 pc. He used to transfer data to n fro from his office on floppies. Fed up by the very little space and amused by the portability of pen drives & usb hdds he literally sold off his IDE harddisk first and then bought some pendrives of 2gb each and tried installing 98 on the same.:! Thinking he can use his penharddrive anywhere anytime and store tons of data.:Comp3:
 
ronit said:
5)-- last but not the least:
I bet you will laugh till you die..

Some time back when pen drives got common a friends friend used his unused brain. He was a programmer and used a 4gb hdd at that time on a p2 pc. He used to transfer data to n fro from his office on floppies. Fed up by the very little space and amused by the portability of pen drives & usb hdds he literally sold off his ide harddisk first and then bought some pendrives of 2gb each and tried installing 98 on the same.:! Thinking he can use his penharddrive anywhere anytime and store tons of data.:comp3:
Click to expand...

omg!! :s:s
 
My cousin sister was opening new window of firefox for every new webpage. So I showed her this thing called 'tabs'. She said, as she was so used to IE, she wanted to do it just like that. And she was 2nd year BCA at that time.

And there were plenty of incidents with 'shortcuts'. My roommate came back from the computer lab with a glee on his face, and when i asked why, he said he was able to copy a big number of winamp skins to his floppy(that was in mid 2002).
 
Few months back, a final yr engg. friend from the hostel was filling out some online forms on my comp. This is how it looked:

All fields marked with * are compulsory.

Name: abc*

Surname: xyz*

Age: 22*

Gender: Male*

Address: blah blah blah*
Click to expand...

Me: Why have you put an asterisk after all of your details? Makes me feel as if there is some fine print attached to everything related to you...

Him: Dumass, read properly. It's written on top "star" is compulsory for all fields.

Me: :death:

/I kid you not.
 
ronit said:
hahaha...
more to add some scenarios...
2)--- The ram virus issue is still in belief for many users.
At that times when your system was badly infected with viruses, friends use to offer some help. REALLY!

"tera ram juna ho gaya so jaldi virus pakdta hain. Antivirus juna ram tak nahi pahuch sakte.
Naya ram daal de pc pehle jaisa ban jayega":rofl:

Though i did suggested its not hardware but your OS that needs to be clean & upgrade your antivirus or download new ones. :argue: but smart people will remain smart.

And believe me some of them did purchased new ram bt the problem remained unsolved & then--
"arey yaar tune late kia ,ab woh virus board mein ghus gaya" mera engineer acha hai usne mere board ke saare virus hata diye.":bangin:
Click to expand...

OMG!! :P :rofl:
 
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