Females thumbs-up! But what about males?!

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I had a colleague who changed his religion to marry his girlfriend. He insisted on telling the girls parents for two years but was always hushed up by the girl. She threatened to leave him. So when one fine day the girl s parents sought a match the story tumbled out. The guy tried convincing the parents to no avail. Being completely in love he refused divorce. The girl filed a dowry and harassment case. He had to spend a week in jail. when he finally agreed to divorce , police refused to drop the case cause they wanted money. In the court all the character witness were shot down saying they were friends or family. Finally some the colleagues had to go to court to save him.

So while I am all up for stronger laws, strictly against draconian laws like 498a.
 
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sharktale1212 said:
He insisted on telling the girls parents for two years but was always hushed up by the girl. She threatened to leave him.
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He was emotionally manipulated. It is a sad case of misuse of law, but I would like to hear the other side of the story.

Why was the girl not allowed to stay with him even after the marriage? Was it her own choice?
 
blkrb0t said:
He was emotionally manipulated. It is a sad case of misuse of law, but I would like to hear the other side of the story.

Why was the girl not allowed to stay with him even after the marriage? Was it her own choice?
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Yep. She wanted the appearance of not being married so as to not alert her parents.
 
The half property funda is damm scary :p

I had already thought that, i would register a company before marriage, and keep my whole property in the company's name whose M/S will be some bogus people :D :D

So even someone tries to play with me, she will get 50% of the money in my pocket only :p :p
 
Just treat a lady like a lady. And be careful for arranged marriages. It is like a blind alley these days. Anything can happen. I have seen the girl's side being just as bad as the guy's side, but the ratio is skewed towards the men. Not that we are all bad. Things are taking an ugly turn. A dowry / battery case against women, gets the man+family in jail: in like 5 minutes. Bail is damn damn difficult.

End of the day be a nice person, and never mean/malicious to anyone. What goes around, comes around.
 
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Ok this incident happened to my close friend’s cousin and it was narrated by his (friend’s) mother to me when I had been to his place. She narrated this when I told her my parents have started seeking alliances.

His cousin works for an IT based company in the US and got married to a girl from Kerala. It was an arranged marriage. All was fine and the girl went to the US a few months after the marriage once her visa arrived. After a few weeks’ time, the girl started acting weird. The two of them would stay in separate rooms and would not communicate directly and openly. The girl used to send SMS and chat to communicate to her husband who was located in the adjacent room ! And she would never bother to step out of the room most of the time and remains locked up having meals as and when she desires.

The guy became very anxious and did not bother telling his parents about this (probably because they had found him this match). Finally, the girl complained to the local US cops about harassment and they came home one day with a warrant, inspected everything, checked everything, interrogated him and they left him citing no issues. Then the girl left to India for a short vacation, complained to the local cops that she had fled US because her husband was harassing her! Because the guy was in US, the cops went to his home and took his mother (I think his father expired or something - she never mentioned anything about his father when she was narrating the incident). His mother is a very respected woman - she is a Professor and H.O.D. in KAU (Kerala Agri. University, Mannuthy). The lawyer came after a few hours, settled the issue (not sure how they did because this is a non-bailable offense AFAIK) and she left for home. Turns out this girl had some mental problems, was under some medication but her parents did not reveal it to the guy nor to his parents (obviously they wouldn’t and she looked fine before all this happened).

Now the guy’s side has filed for a divorce and this case has gone from HC to SC (last I heard from my friend) and his parents were struggling to get some information about where the girl was working previously (some IT firm in India) and other instances which may prove that the girl was mentally retarded. The girl’s parents were demanding some serious compensation after the divorce (they were pretty well-off and well-educated; not sure why!).

From the photo my friend showed me, this guy was a simpleton! Like a very innocent guy. I felt very bad for the guy. Sad luck. :(
 
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What about caste-based arranged marriages? Even well-educated people bow down to such idiotic traditions.

Most of the times, the girls are forced to marry, whether they like it or not. In the rural areas it happens without much pressure as they're kept in fear all their life. In urban areas, social and mental pressure achieves those objectives -- we'll disown you as child, get out of the house, etc...
 
You should not be in a hurry to get married. Even after you have found a 'match' spend at least 4 to 6 months closely interacting with each other, and spend as much time as possible together to understand each other. Meet friends, co-workers, go outdoors, and basically try to see each other in various environments. This is again not foolproof, but it can help you make sure you are taking the next step for the right reasons to a great degree of certainty.
 
blkrb0t said:
What about caste-based arranged marriages? Even well-educated people bow down to such idiotic traditions.

Most of the times, the girls are forced to marry, whether they like it or not. In the rural areas it happens without much pressure as they're kept in fear all their life. In urban areas, social and mental pressure achieves those objectives -- we'll disown you as child, get out of the house, etc...
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I am most afraid of this issue, my mom had already written declaration of independence :(

No marriage outside caste, this is the also reason its getting tough for me to find a a nice groom for my 2nd sis :shifty:
 
axeman said:
You should not be in a hurry to get married. Even after you have found a 'match' spend at least 4 to 6 months closely interacting with each other, and spend as much time as possible together to understand each other. Meet friends, co-workers, go outdoors, and basically try to see each other in various environments. This is again not foolproof, but it can help you make sure you are taking the next step for the right reasons to a great degree of certainty.
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But to do this especially in arranged alliances, the couple has to get engaged first. Then only they are sort of "allowed" to roam together.
 
What @axeman is saying is called "dating" in simple terms. It isn't acceptable in India and is a taboo.

Any girl found to be dating is said to have been "spoiled." Even if engaged as @raksrules says, if the engagements breaks, the society shuns the woman for not having fulfilled her "duty."

Also, since this post is about acid attacks, one of the study I posted earlier says that a women denying a potential suitor is one of the main cause of an acid attack. It's revenge for the denial and making her unsuitable for anyone else in the future.
 
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Try using the phone for a couple of hours every evening initially, you can talk without needing to get engaged right?
 
No matter how much pre-marriage inspection you do, one can never be sure of a person's nature lifelong. That's how human beings are. Innocent, shy people can turn violent in just a second. And the reason is quite explainable. I fear the quite person most.

I've had real life encounters with psycho and possisive women. At times the situation turned so ugly that it was a matter of life and death. I sometimes think if I give my stories to RGV, he can turn them into psycho-crime-thrillers. :D

Anyways, my experiences have made me saner... I have no ill feelings against women as they should have equal rights as human beings. I don't care about SC's rule but I don't disrespect it either. As long as I am an Indian citizen, I'll have to abide by its rules.
 
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asingh said:
Just treat a lady like a lady. And be careful for arranged marriages. It is like a blind alley these days. Anything can happen. I have seen the girl's side being just as bad as the guy's side, but the ratio is skewed towards the men. Not that we are all bad. Things are taking an ugly turn. A dowry / battery case against women, gets the man+family in jail: in like 5 minutes. Bail is damn damn difficult.

End of the day be a nice person, and never mean/malicious to anyone. What goes around, comes around.
Click to expand...

Yes you are damn right. I have seen the girl's side being bad.
 
Gannu said:
Ok this incident happened to my close friend’s cousin and it was narrated by his (friend’s) mother to me when I had been to his place. She narrated this when I told her my parents have started seeking alliances.

His cousin works for an IT based company in the US and got married to a girl from Kerala. It was an arranged marriage. All was fine and the girl went to the US a few months after the marriage once her visa arrived. After a few weeks’ time, the girl started acting weird. The two of them would stay in separate rooms and would not communicate directly and openly. The girl used to send SMS and chat to communicate to her husband who was located in the adjacent room ! And she would never bother to step out of the room most of the time and remains locked up having meals as and when she desires.

The guy became very anxious and did not bother telling his parents about this (probably because they had found him this match). Finally, the girl complained to the local US cops about harassment and they came home one day with a warrant, inspected everything, checked everything, interrogated him and they left him citing no issues. Then the girl left to India for a short vacation, complained to the local cops that she had fled US because her husband was harassing her! Because the guy was in US, the cops went to his home and took his mother (I think his father expired or something - she never mentioned anything about his father when she was narrating the incident). His mother is a very respected woman - she is a Professor and H.O.D. in KAU (Kerala Agri. University, Mannuthy). The lawyer came after a few hours, settled the issue (not sure how they did because this is a non-bailable offense AFAIK) and she left for home. Turns out this girl had some mental problems, was under some medication but her parents did not reveal it to the guy nor to his parents (obviously they wouldn’t and she looked fine before all this happened).

Now the guy’s side has filed for a divorce and this case has gone from HC to SC (last I heard from my friend) and his parents were struggling to get some information about where the girl was working previously (some IT firm in India) and other instances which may prove that the girl was mentally retarded. The girl’s parents were demanding some serious compensation after the divorce (they were pretty well-off and well-educated; not sure why!).

From the photo my friend showed me, this guy was a simpleton! Like a very innocent guy. I felt very bad for the guy. Sad luck. :(
Click to expand...

I have seen a case where a girl married this guy who worked in US. The guy was Indian and it was a arranged marriage.
Then the girl got the visa and she went to US with him. After going to US she kept her distance, like they never slept in the same bed. She would try and keep him away physically. The poor guy thought that since it is early marriage days, she must be uncomfortable. But then after some days, the girl eloped with someone else. it seems that she already had a boyfriend in US. B***ch didnt tell that before and used the poor guy as a scapegoat to get to US.

Also i have seen a case with one of my colleagues, where he got in some sort of argument with one of his tenants who were living in his flat on rent.
Then the tenant filed a police report against him, that my colleague went over and tried to molest the women in the house or something. WTH.
 
pradeep200417 said:
I have seen a case where a girl married this guy who worked in US. The guy was Indian and it was a arranged marriage.
B***ch didnt tell that before and used the poor guy as a scapegoat to get to US.
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If someone "fixes" marriages and forces women to marry by familial and societal pressure, I don't see how this is wrong. Either he deserved it or he was conned; the deserved part is more probable.
 
blkrb0t said:
If someone "fixes" marriages and forces women to marry by familial and societal pressure, I don't see how this is wrong. Either he deserved it or he was conned; the deserved part is more probable.
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Nope she didnt mention a word. So he didnt deserve it. He didnt even know until it happened.
 
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