TBH, I have stopped being nice and courteous to people in India. Not that I am mean and offensive. But I have noticed, a lot of Indian's do not even care two sh*** even if some yields or gives way, or lets someone pass. They just give a huff and assume that is the other persons job/duty to do this, and their entitlement to receive this. There is never any acknowledgement, and most of the time, being nice to strangers -resultant- one getting screwed themselves, or being left 'behind'.
I used to:
1. Always let others pass in lifts (office hours).
2. Make way for people walking past.
3. If passing a door then open / help others come through.
4. Give a light to someone at a ciggie store / panwaala if lighting up.
5. Get up in buses / trains.
6. Say thank you to shop keepers after transaction is done. (Or rifle my wallet / pockets for change / smaller currency denominations).
7. Greet customer service people at vendor stores and again say thanks.
8. Courteous to sales people at the PVRs and DT cinemas. (These are the biggest MoFos; I think that).
9. Appreciative of lower class people coming to my house to collect garbage and/or work on payment.
10. Thanking sales personnel in malls or marts.
Basically, I was raised to be respectful and mindful of others privacy. Now I care nothing less, cause it is a waste of time. Probably with 1.2B+ Indians, things get tight and pissing off, so everyone has become what they are. Our society is going down-hill and no one cares for anyone. All are on their own trip. So am I.
Very well said!! You have touched almost all the bases.
Offtopic: I read that TOI article first before seeing this thread here in TE
.
Now on the topic, See i'm always chivalrous to ladies(women if you call them) around me, but not to the extent of going around and pulling a chair. I feel that with people you interact with daily basis,being chivalrous doesn't mean to always open the door, always let ladies go first, it's an act to make a person(irrespective of ladies) feel good. Just doing it couple of times is enough to show others that you respect them.
Coming to the part of being chivalrous to strangers like in train and buses. I always use to do it for ladies and elders and I do it now too but I tend to cut a little slack these days. Why? because of the daily experiences that's why,
Firstly no one cares if you are giving your place to them or trying to avoid physical contact(in case of ladies).
Secondly, some personal bad experiences, like once in a bus, I left my seat for a girl. I was tired after a day's work but still choose to do it. But what the lady did, she gave that place to her male friend standing beside her and gave her bag to him for keeping.Then and there I felt like an A** for my gentleman act. :annoyed:
Another time in Delhi metro I gave my place to an auntyji travelling with her sons(possibly), after taking the seat she looked at me with those "you pervert" eyes and continued talking to her boys.
Now the last part, money! It's OK to pay for when you're going for a quick bite or coffee but for a full fledged buffet, sorry have to go dutch. See my lady friends are financially capable of paying for themselves so why not split the bill.Of course it depends on the situation mostly. Hell at times they pay for me and I do the same when we go out next time.
Lessons learnt in money matters:
It's good to be chivalrous but let your friend know that MAYBE she need to shell out money, that way she won't be taken aback when the bill arrives
. Moreover, she will contribute after 2-3 outings. Just make sure you're reasonable and not shameful you know, the scenario should not unfold by you asking "ek do sau ka note dena zara"
Another most important thing, never be shy regarding money with ladies, see I use to ride a bike to office and bike-pool(if there is a word) a girl in my office with me.
I use to fill for 2000 monthly for 10 months but due to chivalry(you know being a gentleman and all) never once asked her to contri. Now what did I gain from this, nothing, agree I did not lose anything apart from my friends calling me a wuss, point in case I should have asked her at least once but then I thought if she was considerate then she would have paid, why ask and mix your
izzat with
baigan.
Thanks for being patient with this long post!!
