^^this shows ... power corrupts, be it men or women !
They always forget, "With great power, comes great responsibility" !
They always forget, "With great power, comes great responsibility" !
The Other Side Of the Coin : Guy tries to chat up girl, ends up in jail!
- Thread starter RD274
- Start date
I've assumed the boy's version to be true here and debating on that merit. What happened in real life is their own concern. It's all just a hypothetical situation for all of us.
Agree, but I'll explain why she was wrong to over-react down below.
There you go: There were not any advances here, it was just asking out one time, not in the multiples. If he had persisted even after she refused, and harassed her, then even I would side with her. But it was just a single instance and didn't require a use of law meant to protect the real victims.
And his punishment was not just a single day in jail, it carries way more beyond that. Embarrassment in front of his family members and neighbourhood, a tag of sexual offender for life, passport/visa hurdles in future, lesser employment opportunities etc... The future legal repercussions can only be avoided by bribing the police or if the lady withdraws her case.
I want the women to be respected equally as the men in our society, not more nor less. But if some show this level of maturity, I am afraid they will never be given any such. The other women suffer because of this behaviour, just as almost all men are seen as rapists for rapes by a few. The society we live in is a patriarchal nightmare. If we need to overcome it, the women need to utilise the laws meant for their protection wisely.
The laws need to used as a shield for equality, not to be flaunted as a weapon for superiority.
If I am right, there was no intent to create bogus evidence to book him in a false case. He was detained based on the evidence given by the girl and this guy. There was nothing to prove. The girl told what he did and he agreed to doing what she claimed he did. If he was detained illegally, it was done by the police of their own accord, not because of the girl. The girl has every right to seek protection when she feels threatened. Innocent until proven guilty means that a person is considered innocent by the law and cannot be punished for a crime till the charges are proven. It does not mean that the girl can approach the police only after she has been raped or some other violence committed against her. Preventive detainment is also pretty much legal and quite often exercised when there is need for it.
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LOL.. Maybe you should have looked-up a dictionary before trying to nitpick. :yawn:
http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/make+advances+at
In the context that I used the the word "advances", it is used in the plural even if the actual incident is only one.
How does she know for that she would survive "the second time"? What if she is given no chance. You cannot deny that it has happened once too often in this country. There are several instances of girls being raped, mutilated or murdered after just one or two refusals. There is no "second time" or "third time" for these girls to seek protection. If you feel threatened once, it is enough to seek protection, you may or may not get the desired protection, but you definitely have the right to seek protection. There is no law that states that she can go to the police only after repeated harassment or after
she is molested/raped.
If somebody tires to make unwanted advances at your sister or wife, would you say "Oh wait, he has done it only once, lets wait and see he persists or resorts to violence" or take necessary action immediately?
It is not just about girls either. If somebody threatened you, you may choose that ignore it or you may take immediate action in your best interests. Nobody can blame you for seeking police aid just because just because it has happened only once.
kvikram
Skilled
I agree with you @Lord Nemesis. It wasn't her fault. The guy was stupid but he was innocent, so it wasn't his fault either! It was the police who were too irresponsible the way they handled the situation. Like someone said, the police are just looking for scapegoats!
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What was this police detention trying to prevent exactly .. Preventive detention is used when there is reasonable cause to believe that a person would be breaking a law .. there was no such evidence or a circumstance supporting that. Asking some one out out does not amount to harassment and to say that it would lead to stalking rape or acid throwing is just shortsightedness and plain apathy.
So if I see a person standing outside my house I can call the police and report that "he might intend to rob my house" so better arrest him now coz it would be too late if he actually robs my house and flees .. and instances of robberies do outnumber instances of rape .. hell even murder crimes outnumber rapes .. so are we allowed to call on the police because of that .. some one bumps in to me on the street .. he might murder me .. better have him arrested.
The law is more sane than that thankfully even if people and the police aren't .. and just because there is over-sensitivity to women's protection doesn't at all justify over-reacting, when should be equally sensitive in handling such matters ..
If that man intends to rape and murder her .. then he can very well do it now .. detaining him for a day isn't going to stop him at that.. that's the self-patting we like to do thinking we have prevented a crime or made a difference.,.
hell he's has more of a motive to do it now .. since some lady tried to ruin his life or image by making unfounded accusations against him.. and unfounded because it hasn't been proved in any court.
If that man did harass her . why not take him to court .. why were no charges filed.. if such a sexual predator is on the loose why not stop him before he strikes his next victim .. why just let him go with a slap ..
@Lord Nemesis
I agree I made a mistake there with highlighting advances over and over, but it was meant to put across the point.
We can all just assume that he would be a future rapist, acid-thrower and murderer, and guess what, that is what we might just get in return. What do you think a man who thinks gross injustice is done to him would do? He might just commit a crime without worrying about the law later on.
Laws are to be respected, not flaunted for personal gains.
I agree I made a mistake there with highlighting advances over and over, but it was meant to put across the point.
We can all just assume that he would be a future rapist, acid-thrower and murderer, and guess what, that is what we might just get in return. What do you think a man who thinks gross injustice is done to him would do? He might just commit a crime without worrying about the law later on.
Laws are to be respected, not flaunted for personal gains.
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kvikram
Skilled
Looking at it now, I hardly think that a guy who can write an intelligent blog post from the first-person perspective with such good English can become as vile as that.
yes people who have good grasp of english , can never be the bad guy
Well, in the entire history of our country women have always been subjected to harassment & assault. Now the tables have turned. So there will be plenty of news of men being harassed by women. Prepare yourself for that. I somehow, believe that this is required.
What I don't understand is the fact that why the police is always in the wrong side of the situation in India. I mean, there are number of cases where the police actually refuse to file FIR for real rape & assault cases and sometimes even try to save the guilty. In this case the police reacted swiftly in putting behind the bars an innocent person (if you believe his version of the story). So do the police actually enjoy victimising innocent people or is it plain negligence ?
What I don't understand is the fact that why the police is always in the wrong side of the situation in India. I mean, there are number of cases where the police actually refuse to file FIR for real rape & assault cases and sometimes even try to save the guilty. In this case the police reacted swiftly in putting behind the bars an innocent person (if you believe his version of the story). So do the police actually enjoy victimising innocent people or is it plain negligence ?
It's got nothing to do with innocence and guilt, and everything to do with power, money and clout.
Vile .. wow .. this is exactly the kind of reprecussion we are talking about .. Men can be termed as vile for approaching women
Mr.J
Skilled
Tit for Tat .. so one instance actual harassment of a Women is now OK since A man has been unfairly harassed here ..
Are the women safety laws about retribution ?
Yes Police are very much untrained to handle such cases in to this date .. hopefully with Justice Verma's recommendations things will change
and the laws are a bit skewed towards women in these cases.
If the Police wanted to do its job it should be taken both the Guy and girl down to a station and asked her to file an official complaint .. but since nothing was done beyond that .. It was more a matter of muscle flexing ..
kvikram
Skilled
Hey, isn't it a fact that educated people are far more civilized?
Party Monger
Skilled
A lot depends on the tone and the way things are said. Also on your looks, if you look/dress like a bandit, its best to try some other opportunity. And for gods sake she was married. She's an Indian first thing you do is check for mangal sutra / ring/ sindoor.
I think the guy was a noob. Her radar probably went off the minute he said fun. Do it correctly, with a heartfelt need to connect, and most respond, even if they are married.
Stop? If you start by saying "stop", you have already started on a very hostile note. A hello, or hi is more honest and less surprising for her.
Already Single women are so frigid in India, if you make a pass on a married one and rejected, you're as good as dead. This guy still got it easy.
I think the guy was a noob. Her radar probably went off the minute he said fun. Do it correctly, with a heartfelt need to connect, and most respond, even if they are married.
Stop? If you start by saying "stop", you have already started on a very hostile note. A hello, or hi is more honest and less surprising for her.
Already Single women are so frigid in India, if you make a pass on a married one and rejected, you're as good as dead. This guy still got it easy.
We have a lot to learn from this event:
1. Picking up girls: That is not how you pick up girls. Definitely not. Even considering she wasn't married, this guy was way to blunt on his subject and would have failed.
2. Married women: Do not hit on married women. Indian women give enough clues to the fact that they are married, so unless you are legally blind you could not have missed that.
3. Workplace ethics: Do not hit on women when they are at work. A lot of people before you have tried and failed. Stop trying so hard.
4. There is no way to know whether you are a potential rapist, sexual predator, a casual flirt or just curious, unless you paste a banner on your forehead which most prefer not to. So choose your words carefully. Especially in todays times when children are being sensitised not to accept chocolates from strangers not because they risk getting kidnapped but 'coz they risk being sexually exploited.
This guy here represents in one single even the "usage of the worst pickup lines", "the worst choice of place", "the risks involved in such risks", "how luck plays a part in ones lives" and "not to mess with the police". They say one should learn from others mistakes, so we should thank this guy for bringing out so many.
1. Picking up girls: That is not how you pick up girls. Definitely not. Even considering she wasn't married, this guy was way to blunt on his subject and would have failed.
2. Married women: Do not hit on married women. Indian women give enough clues to the fact that they are married, so unless you are legally blind you could not have missed that.
3. Workplace ethics: Do not hit on women when they are at work. A lot of people before you have tried and failed. Stop trying so hard.
4. There is no way to know whether you are a potential rapist, sexual predator, a casual flirt or just curious, unless you paste a banner on your forehead which most prefer not to. So choose your words carefully. Especially in todays times when children are being sensitised not to accept chocolates from strangers not because they risk getting kidnapped but 'coz they risk being sexually exploited.
This guy here represents in one single even the "usage of the worst pickup lines", "the worst choice of place", "the risks involved in such risks", "how luck plays a part in ones lives" and "not to mess with the police". They say one should learn from others mistakes, so we should thank this guy for bringing out so many.
