The Other Side Of the Coin : Guy tries to chat up girl, ends up in jail!

To be frank, there is unnecessary name calling going on here. It is also evident a few peeps have misunderstood Lord Nemesis' point and those who supported/liked it.

No, the guy definitely did not deserve what happened to him. But there is no arguing about the fact that he showed poor judgment and lack of common sense in asking out a woman (let's forget the part that she was married) unknown and completely new to him in the manner he did. You have the to gauge the environment/society around you lest you end up in trouble like that poor chap. If you expect the same yardstick or tolerance to be displayed everywhere on earth, you are probably living in utopia. An innocent expression of interest like in the above case could also be taken as a compliment in some societies or politely refused as well. Although this is the right way to go about declining such an interest, the truth is unfortunately different. For example, how many stories have we heard about Indians in other countries being singled out for their specific habits like talking loudly, being aloof and the likes. There is also the story of those countries not taking very well to people who do not speak the country's native language. Is this ideal and the right way for things to go about? Of course not. But I'd rather be practical and sensible than being utopian and complaining about people's mindset. And please don't stretch this approach of people like me to other gaping problems that our society is facing at the moment.

Also, the word culture police is thrown around popularly here without properly understanding the intent of the posts. I remember my sister telling about two separate incidents when complete strangers traveling in the same auto tried to start up a conversation with her and decently expressing interest to meet further. My sister politely declined, i didn't find it a big deal and neither did my mom. But am i justified in expecting the same kind of behavior/consideration/maturity from every woman i find interesting and worth pursuing? Hell no, that is just downright childish and stupid.

Indians are also well-known sufferers of the 'herd mentality'. The current atmosphere is such that even the slightest provocation (or polite expression of interest) could be taken in the wrong way. This also reminds me of an incident that occurred in our society a few days back. One of the oldest occupants (mid 50's chap) of our building asked a rather new tenant's wife for her phone number saying he needed it for some society's work purpose. The woman's husband is out on traveling duties most of the times and she went up in arms against this behavior. The husband came back, got the man to beg for an apology and after receiving one, went and filed a police complaint. The police came to pick the guy up and he responded by calling up a few of his big-shot friends. But later that day, a meeting was held in the society regarding this and the same woman charged the man with forcibly grabbing her hand. Yet another woman supported her saying the same happened to her two years back. He was forced to give in writing that what he did was a mistake and it won't be repeated (considering that he didn't even touch the woman). All the society oldies stayed aloof saying that they cannot speak for the guy since the facts were unknown. But the current environment is such that even a well-meaning intent (not speaking about my society guy), could be taken in the wrong way.

In short, the said incident is a fine example of the repercussions of the lack of common sense, especially when behaving in a society as diverse and chaotic as ours !
 
Sarath_ What did the woman suffer here? That guy approached with decency and asked her, not forcibly do anything. A negative response would've made matters clear, or just walking away. She would've been shocked to see her being asked out, that's it, she's an adult. No harm done, no boundaries crosses, civilised.

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asking the same girl out in a pub/ restaurant , totally justified , asking her out in a hospital when shes working , totally not . hope you understand
 
I guess the trouble parts were "stop" and "fun"; we don't really know the tone here. We are reading version from the guy's side. Most of the time, the girls know the underlying intention of guys better.

Going by this person's version, the incident turned out to be quite unfortunate.
 
There are two versions in this topic.

Supporting the girl is ==> The boy should not have used the word FUN. That word is the main cause i think. She took it the other way and it all created the trouble.
Supporting the guy is ==> He just asked normally and walked away with the negative response decently. He didn't do anything wrong.

So a poll cannot justify this i think. Because it depends on how they personally took it.

Having fun can be as simple as going to an amusement park and riding the roller coaster together, doesn't need to be anything physical at all.
 
It is bad time for men all over. White knights are abound, business-politco nexus gaining extra miles playing gender appeasing politics.
Few rapists are more than enough to make the whole world a nasty place for normal men.
The current media together with feminazi movements ensured women own a victim psych now, in general.
So, more news on these lines are expected... Don't get excited, this is the new norm.
 
T
Supporting the girl is ==> The boy should not have used the word FUN. That word is the main cause i think. She took it the other way and it all created the trouble.
Supporting the guy is ==> He just asked normally and walked away with the negative response decently. He didn't do anything wrong.

Why do we even need to take sides here. The boy did something which the girl saw as imposing and as an intrusion into her personal space and she reciprocated with a reaction that she thought was justified. It doesn't matter if he thinks that the reaction was disproportionate and whines like a baby about it. If you don't want adverse reactions, you refrain from doing any adverse actions that attract such reactions.
 
I accept @Lord Nemesis.

What i'm saying here is about the society now. Girls now-a-days are unpredictable. We can't come to a conclusion just by looks.

But as you said it was completely the girls decision what matters. She has the right to act against in whatever manner she wants.The boy should not have tried to talk to her just by assuming she had a good eye-contact with him. We can't read what is in their mind.
 
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Girls are best in owning dual degrees; if they wish, they accept being sl*t, if not, result is in front of ourselves.
 
Why do we even need to take sides here. The boy did something which the girl saw as imposing and as an intrusion into her personal space and she reciprocated with a reaction that she thought was justified. It doesn't matter if he thinks that the reaction was disproportionate and whines like a baby about it. If you don't want adverse reactions, you refrain from doing any adverse actions that attract such reactions.

I don't agree with this at all. She used laws in place to protect real victims, those who suffer sexual harassment, not what she personally finds objectionable.
 
So a simple misunderstanding just screwed up the guys life?

reminds me of similar news i hear of Japanese men being victimized just for talking to women or asking for directions from women or school girls. In one case a guy was put on police wanted list just for wearing a hood and jogging around on a hot day. Wonder if India will turn out to be like Japan too. Dare to talk or look at a woman and be subjected to police harassment. Or even worse, road side vigilantes might start beating you up senseless.
Maybe guys should just stop talking/looking at women and mind their own business from now onwards. Dont even help women, Just helping might get you into trouble if you accidentally touch them.
 
6pack Now I realise exactly why no one comes forward to help in the case of rape or accidents. You would be charged instead, the police are looking for scapegoats to add to their achievements on the way to get promoted. No fact checking whatsoever, and there are people out there who would misuse the legal power granted to them.

Just imagine the plight of real victims when they go to complain and the police are busy with these type of works. Or worse, refuse to take the complaint as many false complaints have been lodged. No one is talking about how she misused the law to ruin a guy's life for such a matter, even if did affect her at a personal level. It's all about whether the girl was right or the guy was right.
 
Is the guy an Indian?

Anyways I feel what he did is wrong. It may not be wrong in US/other countries but definitely wrong in ours. But yeah..he actually got more than what he deserved :-/
 
Sarath_ What did the woman suffer here? That guy approached with decency and asked her, not forcibly do anything. A negative response would've made matters clear, or just walking away. She would've been shocked to see her being asked out, that's it, she's an adult. No harm done, no boundaries crosses, civilised.

If you try to build that woman are "this and that" and are to be treated "this way and that way", then guess what, it will amount to harassment in other situations too.

This is exactly one more problem. Some people (not refering to you here) think that telling or asking a girl out is even flattering or that they like it when being asked out, rejection or not is another issue. And trivialising any issue suffered by women is another major problem that is rampant.

Also we are forgetting that, we can't believe either the girls or the guys version with complete honesty. Obviously both of them must be presenting their own versions. What's surprising is that even in the guys version he comes out as a jerk and downright lame.
 
I don't agree with this at all. She used laws in place to protect real victims, those who suffer sexual harassment, not what she personally finds objectionable.

How did you conclude that she abused the laws? Did she tell lies about what he said or how he behaved? I think the police heard both sides and she didn't tell anything more than his version of the story. She didn't try to implicate him falsely by telling lies or creating bogus evidence.

Secondly, how exactly did you conclude that she was not a victim or potential victim of harassment? Most sexual harassment in our country starts out in the exact same manner as it did in this case. A boy asks a girl to go out with him, be his girl friend or marry him. If the girl responds in the negative, he would begin to stalk her and repeat it again. Inaction from the girl increases their boldness and and in some cases the harassment may turn physical and violent.

In this particular case, how does the girl know that he was not already stalking her? How does she know that he won't be harassing her in future if she had not acted at the first instance she became aware of his advances? There are many cases where where rape, murder or grievous attacks could have been avoided if not for the inaction from the victim. I personally know a case where a college girl who refused the advances of a guy was brutally stabbed 16 times on the very next instance that the guy had an opportunity. There are other cases where refusals led to acid attacks and other sorts of grievous attacks

So how exactly do you know that this guy would have not persisted in his attempts or not turned violent after the first time she refused?

She took action because she was offended by his bold advances and saw it as source for a potential trouble. He was the one who made the advances and what did he loose from it? some embarrassment and a day in prison and a gained a well deserved lesson . What could the girl have lost from inaction? Potential future harassment and violence or even death looking at how things are in our country. From her perspective, it was safe to take action and nip the bud early than be sorry later.

We are not in a country where women are yet ready to take such advances casually and where men are mature enough to take refusals in a good natured manner. Women are still treated as objects by men and refusals are not taken lightly.

Maybe this guy indeed bore no ill intentions, but how was the girl to know his real intentions? She simply reacted the best way she could, i.e. alerting the people around her.

He many have got into a lot of trouble because of it, but at the end of the day, his actions were the reason for the trouble he go into. In a country where the immaturity of men has led to one too many crimes against women simply for refusal of their advances, did he even think for one moment whether this was the best way that he could have approached a girl that he was interested in without being seen as any other potential harasser. He should have understood the psyche of this country and its people and the environment that he is living in before deciding to make such advances. His ignorance or disregard for this led him into this trouble.

And yeah, if you really think that this is abuse of the laws, then sorry, you haven't seen what abuse of the law by women looks like. I am staunchly against abuse of laws made to protect the interests of women, but this is definitely not one of them. She merely took preventive steps to protect her interests by strongly and appropriately reacting to the guys unwanted advances.
 
A case, which happened in Kerala and the girl was praised too much all over by media. In fact , what she did is a severe crime which should have landed her in jail.

The girl, who has learned karate and kalaripayattu for years (she is not weak, she should have been in control of the situation), goes to 'One Billion Rising' campaign (good mood), was having dinner with her family and friends at Bakery Junction, her car was told to be wrongly parked. Two government contract workers in a vehicle behind her car, honked continuously 'disturbing' her and later used abuse words at her (isn't this what happens in a traffic jam always ?). So, she had beaten them up and handed them to police, besides filing a complaint against them. In fact, she and her team bashed them up and they landed in hospital.

The media raised it as perfect case how women should behave, all politicians and feminazis are in her support.

Even Magistrate who ordered cases against her transferred (as 'punishment' ?), the (in)justice is delivered against Magistrate even before court cases are finished !
HC transfers Magistrate who ordered cases against Amrita transferred - Times Of India

Now, if men did the same thing in public road, they will be picked up police, given enough punches and will be in court and subsequently land in jail or get other punishments. Here the woman was not weak, should have been in control of the situation (which is taught during her martial art classes), should not have committed a crime.

Edit: I feel India is outright copying laws from USA, where situation is totally different than that of India. Mean while, let me introduce those who are interested to:

http://www.reddit.com/r/mensrights

Enjoy :)
 
asking the same girl out in a pub/ restaurant , totally justified , asking her out in a hospital when shes working , totally not . hope you understand

He shouldn't have asked her out in the hospital. Instead, he should have waited for her shift to end, like a stalker, and when she is out of the hospital, he should have approached her.
 
How did you conclude that she abused the laws? Did she tell lies about what he said or how he behaved? I think the police heard both sides and she didn't tell anything more than his version of the story. She didn't try to implicate him falsely by telling lies or creating bogus evidence.

Secondly, how exactly did you conclude that she was not a victim or potential victim of harassment? Most sexual harassment in our country starts out in the exact same manner as it did in this case. A boy asks a girl to go out with him, be his girl friend or marry him. If the girl responds in the negative, he would begin to stalk her and repeat it again. Inaction from the girl increases their boldness and and in some cases the harassment may turn physical and violent.

In this particular case, how does the girl know that he was not already stalking her? How does she know that he won't be harassing her in future if she had not acted at the first instance she became aware of his advances? There are many cases where where rape, murder or grievous attacks could have been avoided if not for the inaction from the victim. I personally know a case where a college girl who refused the advances of a guy was brutally stabbed 16 times on the very next instance that the guy had an opportunity. There are other cases where refusals led to acid attacks and other sorts of grievous attacks

So how exactly do you know that this guy would have not persisted in his attempts or not turned violent after the first time she refused?

She took action because she was offended by his bold advances and saw it as source for a potential trouble. He was the one who made the advances and what did he loose from it? some embarrassment and a day in prison and a gained a well deserved lesson . What could the girl have lost from inaction? Potential future harassment and violence or even death looking at how things are in our country. From her perspective, it was safe to take action and nip the bud early than be sorry later.

We are not in a country where women are yet ready to take such advances casually and where men are mature enough to take refusals in a good natured manner. Women are still treated as objects by men and refusals are not taken lightly.

Maybe this guy indeed bore no ill intentions, but how was the girl to know his real intentions? She simply reacted the best way she could, i.e. alerting the people around her.

He many have got into a lot of trouble because of it, but at the end of the day, his actions were the reason for the trouble he go into. In a country where the immaturity of men has led to one too many crimes against women simply for refusal of their advances, did he even think for one moment whether this was the best way that he could have approached a girl that he was interested in without being seen as any other potential harasser. He should have understood the psyche of this country and its people and the environment that he is living in before deciding to make such advances. His ignorance or disregard for this led him into this trouble.

Innocent until proven guilty .. I think we still in society that believes that ..

And was this supposed to be case of preventive arrest .. because a guy 'might' stalk her .. might harass her in the future..
This was a total misuse of extra legal protection give to protect women..

I simple proposal for going out on a date .. is a bold advance .. even that doesn't amount to harassment and any court will reject such a claim.
Please .. there was no potential trouble .. its not he was standing there with a gun or a knife to avenge her rejection ..

The woman reacted in the worst way she could by calling the police and creating all sorts of trouble..

Are men criminals by default now ?
 
Welcome to the new reality, where all men are potential rapists, eve teasers or stalkers, and a woman can do no wrong.
One one hand, women seek equality, but on the other hand, for all the people defending what the woman did, do you think the same reasoning would have applied if the roles were reversed?

He should have taken it like a man right.

You see my point?
 
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